Tempus fugit – Computer Keyboards

Yes, *Time Flees* … All 146 years of it!

Hello?

Nothing has changed:

The basic and default input device for a Typewriter or computer has remained unchanged for almost one and a half centuries? There are no Apps for it. It is just there, largely ignored as a ponderous intense of obtuse usage, but we all have to use it. You are reading this, so are either using a computer keyboard, or a Smart phone/Tablet/Whatever = a modern extension.

The keyboard is a device I use daily, and apart from input language letterings, has basically remained unaltered since the Pleistocene period of modern technology, (Circa: 2,588,000 to 11,700 years ago). Regards the modern world, I am not sure I exaggerate those number significantly regards personal user experience of modern interfaces? Perhaps, I embellish a tad, but not by very much.

I am here to simply ask the question: “Why?”

Why has the standard keyboard never changed, never been upgraded, never had the option of Apps?

Think about it: all we are offered is either the American (USA) keyboard layout, or the British one. The main difference being that one has the quotation marks operated by the key with that same symbol on it; and with the other, they are swapped over with the @ sign. Why?

The British version can make a £ sign, whilst the American version offers only # (Twice). I am a computer programmer, and if I choose to install the wrong keyboard settings, then I cannot make a forward slash, as I cannot now, because that is where the displaced # sign is located on the US keyboard. So, I have to swap Keyboard languages to either use the £ sign [UK], or the \ sign [USA]. Fortunately I can do this extremely easily. But: I see absolutely NO REASON why I should have to?

This is basically a software problem (Software makes it work, Hardware is the physical thing you can touch).

In programming code I Do need to use both a forward \, and a backslash /. I just changed from UK to USA keyboard software settings, and back – simply so I could use the forward slash. Durrr? This is incomprehensibly stupid: especially as every keyboard has so many redundant or duplicated keys.

I should not have to change the default settings of my computer in order to be able to use a basic ANSI or ASCII character sets. The world’s computer manufactures are still treating UTF-8 as if it was a hedgehog a curious kitten found for the very first time. This article is written using Chinese GB 2312 encoding. Can you tell the difference?

History:

The modern keyboard traces its roots back to 1714, and to the British inventor Henry Mill. This device is commonly viewed as the Sinclair Spectrum of keyboards: perhaps the first typical typewriter, and by inference: modern keyboard. That is virtually 300 years, with very little change!

Stop and think about that for a moment: 300 years.

Italian Pellegrino Turri invented a typewriter in 1808. He also invented carbon paper to provide the ink for his machine. Incidentally, many early machines, including Turri's, were developed to enable the blind to write. This is why, as a legacy issue of little modern worth, a few keys have small bumps on them. In 1829, William Austin Burt patented a machine called the "Typographer" which, in common with many other early machines, is listed as being the "first typewriter". Referenced: Wikipedia.

However, we had to wait until 1866 for the first ever-QWERTY layout to be invented by C. L. Sholes, an Engineer from a factory in Milwaukee. Sholes went on to produce the first working prototype in 1868: Referenced: 1, and 2. I have occasionally wondered if Sholes was dyslexic in a multi-directional and irrational way?

QWERTY?

Now, what I want to make you think about is what you want from a keyboard.

I have no problem with qwerty. It is extremely fuckwitted, but so are all of the ingenious alternatives. They are non-starters, unless you give me ABC top left … ending with … XYZ at bottom right. That is something I have understood since pre-school. It is also the only option provided for mobile phones and txt messages. Simple.

Top right A, bottom left Z. Ahha! It makes common sense. Shame no typewriter or keyboard manufactures since 1714 have bothered to consider it as fundamentally important regards the education and daily interaction of human beings in the real world = probably most of you reading this article?

Layout:

I can use a qwerty keyboard, and I could easily use one that had A top right, and Z bottom left. However, I have become aware over time, that different people expect different things from their standard 101/102 input devices. I myself, certainly want my keyboard to do different things when I am say, programming computer code – as against when I am writing a book of fiction that uses joined-up Latin characters [Æ]. I am about to begin writing my 5th book, and the biggest daily complaint I have is my stupid and indefinable keyboard.

Windows shortcuts; don’t even bother going there. Yes, I set them; well at least for the standard Latin section of the default character sets the system has to offer. It became unusable, simply because it did not work in practice. Three, sometimes four keystrokes, all at the same time; and I get something weird happen. Not the letter spelt the way I want it. I simply gave up and used the Symbol character instead = slow, but always correct. Hmmm. It may have been my fingers; or it may have been another of Microsoft’s quick fixes, like Vista and ME.

There again, I could ask Microsoft why they have never even considered improving the Symbol character app since they first invented it? That would be extremely useful.

Microsoft Word I will come to in a later missive in this series, but it is still basically the same product they first published in 1983, and the first version of Word for Windows was released in 1989. The version shipped with Office has remained basically unchanged since 1991. OK, they regularly change the icons and usability, not always for the better: and usually not. But, Office and Word always remain the same = untouched, and others simply copy, but don’t improve on the template, and World Standard.

I also have Open Office installed on my computer, but the way they treat comments is ridiculous. Maybe I should write and complain?

What do I want?

  1. I want to be able to program the keys of my keyboard, just like downloading an App, as they say in modern parlance. I insist the driver for the keyboard is included with the Hardware; for so often in computer games pads, they are not; Logitec Company are infamous for it.
  2. I want to be able to define different presets for key functions, so at the touch of a switch I can change from say, computer code to writing Latin text.
  3. My latest keyboard is always on, despite the computer being turned off. I want to be able to switch it off. This would also enable me to change it while the computer is running, without losing functionality and having to reboot.
  4. Why is there a Numslock Key?
  5. My number pad is always switched on, and never, ever; turned off.
  6. Total waste of a key that could be put to far better use. Simply define the keyboard as having Numslock set to always on, and provide an admin interface for those few lost souls who like it switched off.
  7. Have you ever met anyone that uses the NumsLock Key?
  8. CapsLock. I eviscerated my Capslock Key after it had self-activated for the 10-billionth time! I used a very blunt instrument, after what I had typed came up, yet again in Capital Case. I am not good enough to touch-type; I simply Look-type. Is that a crime? We will get onto the size of my large Male fingers later…
  9. I know of someone who uses the CapsLock key to type Capital case letters, instead of the Shift key. Very strange.
  10. For me, well, my latest version of Windows XP 3, (We really do not do Vista in China, and having been ripped-off greatly, it will take a lot more than Windows 7 or 8 for us to change our minds). The *Tooggle-Keys* do not work in the current versions of XP 3. Toggle-keys are what makes your computer bleep when you hit either: CapsLock, NumLock, or ScrollLock.
  11. I no longer have to stare, as my words appear in UPPER CASE, unbeknownst to me. This may be totally irrelevant to you touch-typists, but it has caused me unknown heartache; and on a few occasions, completely broken the creative rush I have when writing Fiction.
  12. ScrollLock. This must be some kind of Secretary legacy issue? I have absolutely no idea why this key is always on my keyboard, or even exists in the first place: Do you?
  13. Insert:
  14. I have a feeling the Insert key was invented by The Devil Himself. Notice it is always placed adjacent to the Backspace and Enter keys.
  15. This physical proximity used to bring me regular turmoil, and at best: untold damage to what I was trying to write. To me, the Insert Key is the Death of creative writing, when it surreptitiously changes itself into the delete the previously written text key. I can sort of vaguely follow if highly-paid Personal Assistants for Global Conglomerate CEO’s may need to use it once every 10-Billion years or so.
  16. I removed this totally fuckwitted key with a butane lighter = not the easiest of feats, but I thought it worthy of Cremating. As such, I threw the moronic tap out of the window with as much strength as I could muster; which unusually, was quite a lot. It hit the building across the road, before dropping to hopefully be impounded into the tarmac by a never-ending succession of extremely heavy vehicles; hopefully ones from very deep mines, or track-laying. Goodbye!
  17. Delete Key:
  18. I am not going to delete the Delete Key – I find it extremely useful and a common key I use, hourly, and occasionally by the second.
  19. I do have to ask why it is always placed next to the Enter, Insert, and Backspace keys? Couldn’t it be put on the opposite side of the keyboard, somewhere that is hard to hit by mistake?
  20. Minor: Control, Alt, Delete:
  21. These are the keys at the extreme left of a typical keyboard; bottom left. Since XP SP 3, they have virtually become useless. You want to use them, then you better use Great: Control, Alt, and Delete, which are on the right. I removed these keys as being a total waste of space. Why do I need 2 of the same thing? I know very few computer users even comprehend what they do. Do YOU?

I could go on and probably bore you to death. Or you could take a moment out to look at your keyboard – the one you are using, and think about my words above.

The Future of Keyboards:

Number Pad

The NumLock key is totally redundant; it has no right to even exist. Please, manufactures of keyboards: get rid of this superfluous key and leave the number pad set to always ON. You can then get rid of the light as well.

Then you can replace it with a + sign, and change the order of the top row to suit real people, who expect it to be: +, -, *, and /. So simple. However, there is absolutely no reason whatsoever, why the latter cannot be replaced with the correct mathematical sign: ÷

(Small Alt, hold it down; then type 0247 on the Number-pad [ONLY], and release Alt). Simple when you know how.

My question is, if the real divide sign is already hidden within my computer, then why can I not access it easily, like say from a specific key on my keyboard – like the backslash that is invariably used to represent a divide sign. Why?

Both of these symbols are in the standard char set, which is slowly moving away from ANSI and ASCII towards UTF-8.

The basic language all computers use actually accommodates the Divide sign; remember? - The colon with a long line through it. I do not see, why in 2012, I have to use / for Divide. Give me the correct key; Please!

Do I really need the + sign twice?

Why is the equals sign not on the number pad?

The hyphen and minus signs may look the same, but technically they should have different character codes. In ASCII they are combined. In all other char sets they are separately defined. They are not the same key, although most of us use them as such. When displayed correctly, the minus sign is longer than the hyphen: —, -. If you want to use the correct minus sign, it is also in your computer. Simply press Small Alt and hold: type in 0151, and release Alt. Simple. Shame the dedicated key doesn’t do it. (Ref: Wikipedia)

OK, I admit I have just put Small Alt back, as Great Alt won’t do this trick.

The next thing keyboard manufactures can do is turn the number pad up the right way, so 1 is top left, and 9 is second to bottom right. Zero should always be middle bottom. This is then the same as all telephones have ever been = cross-technology consistency. I do not know how designers can be so imbecilic?

I do not need to type in a number, and then remember the computer Number Pad works in the opposite way from every other Number Pad in existence.

I will retain the full stop, but want the comma to be repeated – if only because I type numbers in British English = 3-numbers, comma, a space, another 3-numbers. Put these two keys both sides of a small and standard-size zero key, and I will be extremely happy.

Most of the keys on the number pad have two settings, one using Shift. This time, the Shift character or usage is below the standard key, and not above it. Please! Could we have a little consistency here? Either the default usage is always on top, or always underneath. Not opposite on the number pad, only.

All the Shift operated keys are duplications, why? You designers run out of ideas or something. The options are also totally irrelevant to numbers and mathematics. Why not offer some Fractions keys: ¼, ½, ¾ for instance, or perhaps ± and what about superscript and subscript options? At least these keys are not duplicated and have a little relevance. I would actually leave it to the user to define these.

Touch sensitive:

I do want the keyboard to work properly, and not just for a month or so whilst it is new. I want it to have a credible and consistent life span, and long-term usability. I want each key to need the same amount of pressure, and to activate at a consistent depression.

I do not need to hold my hands at strange angles in order to type on ergonomically designed keyboards. They skew my vision when I am creative.

I was given one once, and it stopped working after a few days = probably why I was given it in the first place. What I do want is to use a Keyboard fit for the modern world, and to be able to hit every key the same way.

Size of keys:

I am a big man. The size of the actual keys on keyboards has been getting progressively smaller over the decades, and to the point where the current batch are probably suitable for Preteen girls of small stature. Hello?

Could somebody get their imbecilic head around the fact that I need a large keyboard. I do not care how heavy it is:

I am a man.

I have very big fingers.

I need the keyboard keys to match = BIG!

What I do require is keys that are larger than my fingers. This would go an extremely long way to alleviating me of hitting the wrong key by mistake. I also want manufacturers to stop making the gaps between the keys smaller, and smaller.

It is always apparent the slightly miss-stroked key always takes precedence over the intended key. I have a feeling there is an algorithm already at work here, or is that just my personal excuse for denying apocalyptic paranoia?

Function Keys = F keys

Every keyboard has 12 of these, not one more, and not one less. Did you ever ask yourself WHY?

I have used every single one, and some are invaluable; like when you get hit by a virus and are trying to fight it. You also need them to work with MS Dos. This is to change the basic settings of your computer.

I use most of them rarely, but they need to be there. I often use F12 by the minute, but that is due to Dream Weaver shortcuts, not the correct usage of the key. This year I have used: F1 and F3 + F11 also. Alt + F4 together should close any pop-up window, although this has changed with pop-up bombardment declining, and multi-tabbed browsers. It is always a very useful key all the same.

Let me put it this way, if your computer dies, then a professional needs the F keys to get it working again. ‘Nuff said. They stay.

However, I see no reason why they cannot be put somewhere else, like at the very top of the keyboard; or beneath a covered/slide-out panel, thus freeing space below for keys User’s use all the time.

Numbers

Now that the number pad is always active, I see no reason why I need 10 numbers repeated twice on my keyboard. I will agree this can be a personal preference, and sometimes I do use those above the letter block. However, this is extremely rare.