Coordination, Subordination, and Emphasis
Coordination and subordination are ways of joining ideas in sentences that show relationships between ideas and emphasize more important ideas. In speech, people tend to use and and so as all-purpose connectors.
He enjoys psychology, and he has to study hard
The meaning of this sentence may be perfectly clear in speech, which provides clues with voice, facial expressions, and gestures. But in writing, the sentence could have multiple meanings, including these:
Although he enjoys psychology, he has to study hard.
He enjoys psychology, although he has to study hard.
A coordination conjunction such as and gives ideas equal emphasis, and a subordinating conjunction such as although emphases one idea more than another. Choosing appropriate conjunctions also allows a writer to specify how the ideas are related.
Editing for Coordination, Subordination, and EmphasisHow do your ideas flow from one sentence to another? Do they connect smoothly and clearly? Are the more important ideas given more emphases than less important ones.
Looking for strings of short sentences that might be combined to join related ideas.
The report was short. It was persuasive. It changed my mind.
The report was short, but it was persuasive; it changed my mind..
If you use and excessively, decide whether all the ideas are equally important. If they are not equal, edit to subordinate the less important ones.
Make sure that the most important ideas appear in independent clauses that can stand alone as complete sentences.
The report was short, even though it changed my mind.
Even though the report was short, it changed my mind.
Identify the word or words you want to receive special emphasis. If those words are buried in he middle of a sentence, edit the sentence to change their position. The end and the beginning are generally the most emphatic.
If a sentences includes a series of three or more words, phrases, or clauses, try to arrange the items in the series in climatic order, with the most important item last.
Use coordination to relate equal ideas.
When you want to give equal emphasis to different ideas in a sentence, link them with a coordination conjunction (and, but, for, nor, yet) or a semicolon.
They acquire horses, and their ancient nomadic spirit was suddenly free of the ground.
There is perfect freedom in the mountains, but it belongs to the eagle and the elk, the badger and the bear.
No longer were they slaves to the simple necessity of survival; they were a lordly and dangerous society of fighters and thieves, hunters, and priests of the sun.
Coordination can help make explicit the relationship between two separate ideas.
My son watches The Simpsons religiously. Forced to choose he would probably pick Homer Simpson over his sister.
My son watches The Simpsons religiously; forced to choose he would probably pick Homer Simpson over his sister.
Connecting these two sentences with a semicolon strengthens the connection between two closely related ideas.
When you connect ideas in a sentence, make sure that the relationship between the ideas is clear.
Watching television is a common way to spend leisure time, and it makes viewers apathetic.
Watching television is a common way to spend leisure time, but it makes viewers apathetic.
The relationship between the two ideas in the original sentence is unclear. What does being a common form of leisure have to do with making viewers apathetic. Changing and to but better relates the two ideas.
Subordination Emphasizes "Main" Ideas
Subordination allows you to distinguish between more important and less important information, or to bring in supporting detail. Subordination also establishes logical relationships amongst ideas.
Of course, the writer decides which ideas in a sentence are more important and which are less important, and what the logical relationship is between ideas. The choice made by the writer can produce varying effects as shown in the following examples.
Mrs. Viola was a plump woman who lived in a three bedroom house somewhere behind the post office.
The dependent clause adds important information about Mrs. Viola, but it is subordinate to the independent clause.
Notice that the choice of what to subordinate rests with the writer and depends on the intended meaning.
Mrs. Viola, a plump woman, lived in a three-bedroom house somewhere behind the post office.
Subordinating the information about Mrs. Viola’s size to that about her house would suggest a slightly different meaning, of course. When you write, think carefully about what you want to emphasize and subordinate information accordingly. Subordination also establishes logical relationships among ideas. These relationships are often specified by relative pronouns – such as which, who, and that – and by subordinating conjunctions.
Common subordinating conjunctions
after / if / though / whilealthough / in order that / unless / who
as / once / until / whom
as if / since / when / whose
because / so that / where
before / than / whether
even though / that / which
The following sentences shows the subordinate clause in italics and the subordinating word underlined:
She usually rested her smile until late afternoon when her women friends dropped in and Miss Glory, the cook, served them cold drinks on the closed-in porch.
Using too many coordinate structures can be monotonous and can make it hard for readers to recognize and most important ideas. Subordinating lesser ideas can help highlight the main ideas.
Many people come home tired in the evening, so they turn on the TV to relax. They may intend to watch just the news, but then a game show comes on next, and they decide to watch it for just a short while, and they get too comfortable to get up, and they end up spending the whole evening in front of the TV.
Many people come home tired in the evening, so they turn on the TV to relax. Though they may intend to watch just the news, a game show comes on next, which they decide to watch for just a short while. Eventually, they get too comfortable to get up, and they end up spending the whole evening in front of the TV.
Determining what to subordinate
Our new boss can be difficult, although she has revived and maybe even saved the division.
Although our new boss can be difficult, she has revived and maybe even saved the division.
The editing puts the most important information – that she has saved part of the company – in an independent clause and subordinates the rest.
Avoid excessive subordination
When too many subordinate clauses are strung together, readers may have trouble keeping track of the main idea.
Too much subordination
Philip II sent the Spanish Armada to conquer England, which was ruled by Elizabeth, who had executed Mary because she was plotting to overthrow Elizabeth, who was a Protestant, whereas Mary and Philip were Roman Catholics.
Revised
Phillip II sent the Spanish Armada to conquer England, which was ruled by Elizabeth, a Protestant. She had executed Mary, a Roman Catholic like Philip, because Mary was plotting to overthrow her.
Putting the facts about Elizabeth executing Mary into an independent clause makes key information easier to recognize.
Use closing and opening positions for emphasis.
When you read a sentence, the part you are most likely to remember is the ending. This part of the sentence should move the writing forward by providing new information, as it does in the following example:
To protect her skin, she took along plenty of sunblock lotion.
We hear language through a powerful filter of social values and stereotypes.
A less emphatic but still important position in a sentence is the opening, which often associates the new sentence with the meaning of what has come before.
When Rosita went to the beach, she was anxious not to get a sunburn. So plenty of sunblock lotion went with her.
If you place relatively unimportant information in the memorable closing position of a sentence, you may undercut what you want to emphasize or give more emphasis to the closing words than you intend.
She gave $500,000to the school capital campaign last month.
Last month, she gave the school capital campaign $500,000
Moving $500,000 to the end of the sentence emphasizes the amount.
Using climatic order to emphasize important ideas.
When you arrange ideas in order of increasing important, power, or drama, you writing builds to a climax. By saving its most dramatic item for last, the following sentence makes its point forcefully and memorably:
After they’ve finished with the pantry, the medicine cabinet, and the attic, [neat people] will throw out the red geranium (too many leaves), sell the dog (too many fleas) and send the children off to boarding school (too many scuffmarks on the hardwood floors).
The original version of the next sentences fails to achieve strong emphasis because its verbs are not sequences in order of increasing power; the editing provides the climatic order.
Soap operas assault our eyes, damage our brains, and offend our ears.
Soap operas, offend our ears, assault our eyes, and damage our brains.
Anticlimax and Humor
Sometimes it’s fun to turn the principle of climatic order upside down, opening with grand or exaggerated language only to end anticlimactically, with everyday words.
He is a writer for the ages – ages four to eight.
We build up high expectations at the beginning of the sentence – only to undercut them unexpectedly by shifting the meaning of ages. Having led readers to expect something dramatic, you can makes us laugh, or at least smile, with words that are decidedly undramatic.
Coordination practice
Write in the appropriate coordination.
1. Jill always studied hard. She earned only average grades.
2. Barry hoped to be a professional musician. He practiced daily.
3. I read three magazines each week. I read two newspapers every day.
4. She wants to be an engineer. She wants to be a chemist.
5. His dad has a terrible temper. He scares people.
6. He wants to be a politician. He can make changes in the law.
7. My sister hates to stop at the mall. She cannot tolerate crowds.
8. I know exercising is important. I don’t allow any time for it.
Combine the ideas of each of the following sentences into one effective simple or complex sentence.
Example: The boys went swimming at Capri.
Capri is an island located off southern Italy.
It is near Naples.
The boys went swimming at Capri, an island off southern Italy near Naples.
1. The Hudson River originates in the Adirondacks.
It empties into the Atlantic Ocean.
It is named for Henry Hudson.
He was an English explorer.
2. Phillis Wheatley was an eighteenth-century American poet.
She grew up as a slave in Boston.
Her book of poetry was first published in England.
3. Our tour bus stopped at Loch Ness.
It is a lake in Scotland.
It is more than twenty miles long.
A legendary monster makes its home there.
4. The Greater Snow Goose is white with black-tipped wings.
It breeds in the Arctic.
It migrates in winter to the coast of the Middle Atlantic states.
5. H. L. Mencken was a journalist.
He wrote a book entitled The American Language.
It was first published in 1919.
It reflects his interest in American English.