DR. REGGIE R. PADIN
Get Out of the Dumpster! Copyright © 2016 Dr. Reggie R. Padin. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
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FIRST EDITION
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for.
ISBN-10:1523228385
ISBN-13: 978-1523228386
DEDICATION
For my children, Michael, Reggie, Lindsy, and Ryan; you have been my fuel, my strength, and my inspiration to come out of every dumpster in my life.
I love you.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
The process of overcoming personal obstacles starts inside oneself, but doesn’t end there.
For all the people who inspired, motivated, challenged, taught, and helped me along the way, especially my family – Reggie A., Michael, Lindsy, and Ryan; my beloved parents, Ramon and Carmen; my siblings Linda and Javier; all my nieces and nephews; my uncles, aunts, and cousins; and my mentors, coaches, partners, friends, and coworkers who supported me when I was studying and working long hours. Thank you for letting me reach beyond; thank you for being part of how I achieved my dreams.
“Yo, Adrian, I did it!”
Throughout this long journey out of the dumpster, I have had an “Adrian” in my life, a person who has directly and indirectly taught me to be a better father, son, and human being. I am forever grateful. “Yo, Carmen, I did it!”
Finally, to all those people who have been and will be my students, mentees, and partners in future dreams: limitations are an illusion. You are limitless in your own ability to do whatever you set your mind to, and work towards. Go for your goals. Realize your dreams. Everything you need to succeed is right inside you in this very moment.
Contents
DEDICATION ii
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS iii
INTRODUCTION 7
Dumpster Moments 11
SHIFTING YOUR MINDSET 25
THE GREAT DECISION 53
I CAN: THE POWER OF SELF-CONFIDENCE 69
Focus ON EXECUTION! 91
FOCUSED ON EXCELLENCE 107
MAINTAINING MOMENTUM 125
BE RESILIENT 139
MENTORS, PARTNERS, AND COACHES 151
HELPING OTHERS GET OUT! 167
CONCLUSION 181
ABOUT THE AUTHOR 185
INTRODUCTION
ne question that describes me is, “What are you gonna do about it?” When difficulties come, it is so easy to ask other types of questions: “Why always me?” “Why now?” “When am I gonna catch a break?” “When will my number be called?” The problem with these questions is that they don’t solve anything; they keep you in the same spot, they limit you. Any time I identify any type of limitation that keeps me from achieving my goals, that’s the question I ask myself.
The truth is, this wasn’t always the case. I had to train myself to ask that question, and sometimes it took months to do so, while I buried myself in that limited thinking. Now, it doesn’t take that long. It’s become my “Snap out of it already, man!” question, and it gets me focused on solutions rather than on problems. I’ve learned that the way I think and choose to face limitations is the only thing I can control.
The notion that we can be in control of what we think, and of our lives, is foreign to many people. “Not knowing” that we can actually be in control gets us in trouble because then we live life as victims of chance and circumstance. We fail to see that “we can always” do something about our present situation.
What we need is to learn “the rules of the game”; we need a change of thinking and a plan to move in a new direction. In essence, the question, “What are you gonna do about it?” needs to be what motivates us to make a change in our lives, the weapon we use to solve that problem, the fuel we use to achieve our goals. Doing something about our limiting situation is the key to rising above and beyond those illusory limitations that we have set for ourselves or have been imposed on us by others.
As a young man, I decided I didn't need an education from those schools that would, oftentimes, give up on Latino inner-city kids like me. So, I dropped out. I walked away. This one act was the beginning of my descent into the dumpster, a decision that set me on a path of frustration, poverty, and shame. I have to admit, I was lucky; I was able to wake up and realize that this choice, made in frustration, anger, and haste, played into my own limiting beliefs. I snapped out of my frustration with “the system,” changed that terrible belief system, and took the necessary steps out of that limiting situation.
This is the story of how I gained control of my life and got back on track. It’s the story of how I turned what appeared to be unattainable dreams – for a higher education, abundance for my family and opportunity for my children, and a fulfilling life for myself – into achievable goals through a plan. It’s a plan anyone can follow, a plan that’s attainable if people decide to change their mindset, work hard, and take absolute responsibility for their own lives.
At the end of our lives, what we do, what we become, will be a reflection of the actions we decide to take. As much as we try to point the finger at others, four fingers will be pointing right back at us. I am reminded of the last verse of the great poem by William Ernest Henley, “Invictus,” which reads:
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
It’s my hope to inspire you to remember that no dream is unreachable. To inspire you that no matter how rough life gets, how limiting your present circumstance is, you are the “master of your fate” and the “captain of your soul.” You can change your life for the better.
1
Dumpster Moments
“I just couldn’t believe where I was and what I was doing. To be chest-deep inside a hot and foul container, hauling all that disgusting waste by hand for hours on end, dumping it in the back of a box truck was only the beginning...”
Dr. Reggie R. Padin
t was a hot summer day. I was in the midst of my daily routine at work, sweeping the plant floor before making my rounds to pick up the scraps of wood and stainless steel used to create and ship huge smokehouses across North America. But my routine abruptly ended. Little did I know this day would mark a turning point in my life.
You see, a few years earlier I had decided to drop out of high school, get married, and have children. To make matters worse, I was an immigrant in Canada without a work or school permit. I didn’t know it at the time, but the youthful mistake of dropping out of high school limited my abilities to qualify for a job that could properly support my family.
After a few odd jobs, which paid me in cash, I was able to secure that coveted work permit, but landing a good-paying job as a high school dropout was still not the easiest thing in the world. As an immigrant with a young wife and kids, no education, and no skills, in a country suffering through a painful economic recession, it was almost impossible to find a good-paying job.
In the coming months, I went from one cleaning job to the next, until my father-in-law reluctantly got me a job at the company where he worked. I was thrilled to have a “decent” job that could finally put food on the table.
My new $9-per-hour job entailed being a go-fer. I had to do pretty much anything and everything needed in the shop: load and unload, build wood crates, make deliveries, clean up. Although it was hard work, the days flew by and I was learning a lot. But I was not happy; I had no sense of fulfillment. I felt like I was destined for more.
My First Dumpster Moment
What I didn’t know at the time was that the company was experiencing tough economic challenges, was almost bankrupt, and was forced to cut back expenses. Hard to believe, but one of the areas they cut back on was waste management. That meant no garbage truck would be coming to pick up the trash. This was when my daily job routine changed. Drastically.
That morning my name was called through the loudspeaker: “Reggie, please report to Lee’s office.” Since I was the go-to guy for all things sanitation, Lee gave me clear instructions. “Take the company’s box truck to every dumpster around the plant. Haul the garbage out by hand. Place it in the back of the box truck. Take it to the local landfill. Dump it there.”
Although the process sounds straightforward, it was anything but simple. Thinking about it still makes my stomach turn. This exercise went on a few times per week during that hot summer.
I just couldn’t believe where I was and what I was doing. To be chest-deep inside a hot and foul container, hauling all that disgusting waste by hand for hours on end, dumping it in the back of a box truck…and it was only the beginning.
This literal Dumpster Moment led to other Dumpster Moments in my life: emotional, psychological, spiritual, and relational. My life was in a dumpster all the way around. I was frustrated, angry, depressed. I couldn’t believe that my life had come down to this. That experience, as tough as it was, became my wake-up call.
Let’s face it. Handling garbage is never glamorous; quite the contrary, it’s disgusting! It’s uncomfortable! It stinks! At the end of such a day, I stank! I decided right then and there that for my sake and the sake of my family, I needed to get out of that particular Dumpster Moment.
Everyone Experiences Dumpster Moments
What I’ve come to realize is that we all face Dumpster Moments, and at every stage of our lives. I don’t care who you are. You could be CEO of a Fortune 500 company or a regular employee at that same company. You could be extremely wealthy or extremely poor, an immigrant or native born. Your level of education, social status, religion, color, or race doesn’t exempt you from experiencing Dumpster Moments. Being a woman won’t save you from experiencing Dumpster Moments. Certainly being a man didn’t save me from that dumpster.
What you must understand is that Dumpster Moments can be limiting, humiliating, painful, lonely, and demoralizing. Yet these Dumpster Moments can force us to ask important questions we’ve neglected to ask, to reassess the direction of our lives and help us find our way until we pull ourselves out.
What is a Dumpster Moment?
So, what is a Dumpster Moment? What is the “signs” that you might be going through a “DM”?
First, DMs are always going to throw you into a space or place you don’t want to be. You know you don’t belong there because you feel awful, and I mean for a prolonged period of time. It’s almost like you can’t shake those feelings off, no matter how much you try to ignore them; they simply won’t go away. So, a prolonged bad, unhappy, or frustrated feeling is usually one of the first clues that you are going through a DM.
Also, Dumpster Moments are limiting; they become experiences that limit you in any way, shape, or form; they limit you mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially. A Dumpster Moment puts you in a frame of mind where you are only “hoping for the best” or saying things like, “It’ll get better; I hope,” “I’ll get well again; I think,” “I can do that; maybe,” or “It will turn around; I wish.” If you are merely hoping for things to change for the better, but have serious doubts, that is a clue that you may be deep into a DM.
Sustained negativity and “stank” thinking is another clue that you may be going through a DM. Don’t get me wrong; we all have “our moments” when we have negative thoughts. However, you know you’re in a Dumpster Moment when it seems like you can never rise out of that negative thinking, when you allow your negative thoughts to have the best of you, always.
So what? Why should you care about Dumpster Moments at all? The problem is that Dumpster Moments can seriously damage your self-esteem. Dr. Suzanne Phillips defines self-esteem “as a reflection of a person’s overall self-appraisal and self-worth.” Why is that important? It’s important because self-esteem not only affects a person’s self-perception, but also impacts every other area of life, including relationships. If you’re in a dumpster, chances are you will also drag others in with you; sometimes even those who are closest to you can drag you into the dumpster.