Rabbi’s Article By Rabbi Jack Bemporad
As I getolder I find myself increasingly reflecting on my childhood. The many times my mother dragged me to some museum or other to instill an appreciation of art in me. I often think of the many times I went to the Academy in Florence where the great statue of Michelangelo’s David overpowered me. I delighted in the story of David’s victory over Goliath; appreciated the hawkish intensity of David’s eyes searching for the vulnerable spot in Goliath’s armor, and was swept up in a feeling of sheer beauty and sculptured harmony. I never paid too much attention to the sculptures of the “slaves”, half-finished, undefined and diffuse which lined the path to my David.
It was many years later that I discovered that Michelangelo himself thought his greatest work was the half finished sculptures and that the “David”, the “Moses in Rome” and the four figures in the Medici Chapel, “Day”, “Night”, “Dawn” and “Twilight” were not as important to him as these “slaves”.
I suggest you take down your copy of these sculptures and look carefully at these works and try to fathom Michaelangelo’s viewpoint.
It dawned on me that Michael Angelo was never satisfied with his work. He always set an ideal before him, which he tried to embody. He felt that all of our life is incomplete, that we are always in the process of becoming and that his “slaves“ were truer to the reality of life. On the one hand we set an ideal self before us which we try to embody in our actions, thoughts and words. An ideal that directs our efforts to live nobly and correctly so that we can feel we have acquitted ourselves with integrity in our lives. On the other hand we are all too painfully aware of all the things that hold us back.
And so these statues embody this dualism between the realization of an ideal form and the dark matter that holds us back. It appears as if the figures are stepping out of the marble and we must view this in symbolic and philosophical terms.
Each step in understanding the world is a step towards freedom. Each step toward achieving some good for oneself and others is a step toward liberating the self
Rabbi Tarfon said “ it is not yours to finish the task but neither is it yours to exempt yourself from it.”
Normally this is read with respect to one’s work in society and I will get to that, but today I would like to read this in the light of another saying of one of the greatest of Jewish teachers, namely Hillel.
He said “If I am not for myself who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now when?”
Sometimes we may feel that the problems in becoming the person we want to become, the ideal we have set for ourselves is too hard to achieve and therefore we lose heart. Here Rabbi Tarfon’s advice is very helpful. We may never become the person we want to be but that does not mean that we should give up trying.
I am reminded of that individual who said
“I am not what I ought to be. I am not what I want to be. But surely I am not what I was.”
There you have it. Too many of us have such a sense of perfectionism that we are constantly beating up on ourselves because we are continually feeling we should be more, do more and know more in every way. But the point I want to make today is that it is a trap, a guilt trap and a negativity trap. What we must do is look back and see in what ways we have improved.
Now I want to connect Rabbi Tarfon’s statement with Hillel’s. He said…
“If I am not for myself who will be for me?”
What does this mean? Normally this statement is understood to mean a number of things.
First I must value myself,or I must respect myself,or I must stand up for myself,
Or I must not let others take advantages of me, that is, stand up for your legitimate rights.
And if I do not do this, who will?
All this is correct and undoubtedly what Hillel had in mind. At least these are the things most people refer to in commenting on Hillel's statement.
One must care for oneself, and value oneself and respect oneself and stand up for oneself.
It is of utmost importance to recognize how original and radically different Hillel's teaching was from the common religious teaching of his time or even our time.
Most religions emphasize an individuals self-centeredness, or selfishness and condemn it
In doing so they underestimate the fact that one can in Hillel’s words be for oneself and not be selfish or self centered
What does this mean?First, one can be for oneself by standing up for what one believes even, though it is the easier thing to go along with the crowd. One can be for oneself by exhibiting a sense of courage. One can be for oneself by being the very best that one can be in one’s chosen work and in the multiple obligations one is involved in.
What Hillel was saying is that we have an obligation to ourselves to be the kind of person who can fulfill our obligations to others. In order to do this, we have to do a lot of work on ourselves. To be for oneself is to ripen, to make oneself ready for life. To make oneself ready for the world of which we are a part.No one can develop our characters except ourselves.No one can give to us the capacity. No one else can take on our responsibilities except ourselves. No one can be ethical in our place
In my own experience I think one of the most embarrassing and disconcerting experiences is where I was counted on to do something of importance or I was in a predicament and I was not prepared to fulfill that obligation for lack of self development. How tragic it would be for us that when self sacrifice is demanded of us we have not developed a self to sacrifice.When the need is great we lack the resources to meet it.
But I have really something else in mind,
The one thing we have that no one else can have is our own self-consciousness. Our own inner awareness.
No one else can have that. We are aware of ourselves in a way in which we can never be aware of anyone else. We have a sense of inwardness that constitutes the very way in which we interact with the world. It is the difference between looking to oneself from within and from without. Only an inner knowledge of self can reveal the truth about oneself to oneself.
It is this inner sense of self that we most prize and that is why we are so deeply offended when others treat us as objects of use or means to their ends or do not properly take notice of who we are and how we feel when they ignore OUR INNER LIFE.
There is a difference between seeing things from the perspective of the actor and from the perspective of an observer, no matter how close or how compassionate such an observer may be.
Hillel is saying, be for yourself in every way that prevents you from being merely an object for others. This sense of simply being an object, I think, is the greatest cause for our sense of loneliness. We simply feel not really understood, or we feel misunderstood. We see ourselves as seen as an object by another person and not as a fellow subject.
We should try to see our fellow human being as a fellow subject rather than as an object. This is very hard to do. But this is what needs to be done.
That is why compassion is so important in Judaism In any case the self here is the central reality of our existence We live our lives in our selves,in our thoughts our feelings our dreams and our ideals. This is the very texture of our lives. To be for oneself is to develop those traits that enable us to be for others. But to be for others is indeed very hard, and even here there are gradations going from our family outwards.
In each case communication is difficult and painful. We must be first and foremost a proper self, a real self.We must strive to be our very best self
That is what I think Hillel had in mind.
However we may be so involved in doing it that we may do it in a wrong way.There are proper and improper ways of being for oneself.
Obviously we have to take care of ourselves.
When we are adults no one else should be expected to do that for us.Obviously we must be concerned with ourselves. Obviously we must look out for ourselves. Not everyone acts towards us as did our parents or at least the majority of our parents when we were young
But if that is all we do then we have failed to be proper self’s altogether.
That is why Hillel goes on and says
“But if I am only for myself what am I?”
There is not just the individual self but also the conjunct self. We have not only obligations to ourselves but to our fellow human being,to humanity.
Etymologically the word ob -lig- gation means tied -in -ness Let me try to illustrate this obligation to others in the context of our own inwardness, our self-consciousness.It is through our connection with others that we grow inwardly.
When I stand for truth I am not just doing this for myself but also for others. When I stand for justice it is not just for myself.What I do cannot help but affect all the people I come into contact with and therefore there is always a larger self involved the self of humanity everywhere.
Finally Hillel says something surprising. He says
“If not now when?”Strange he introduces the question of the importance and significance of time. We are finite beings.No one knows for sure how long he or she will live. No one knows if they will be able to finish or complete the work they are devoted to. So the question Hillel asks is anything but innocuous.
I cannot help but contrast the museum in Florence of my childhood with the DisneyWorld of my grandchildren. I was taught to strive to realize the best that I had within me, and thus the slaves became the paradigm. Today we think in terms of “get the greatest possible amount of pleasure.”
There is a world of difference between these two injunctions: “Realize your best self”, and “get the greatest amount of pleasure”. The former orients you in your life towards a goal and transcends the self since our best self is the self of personal worth or virtue affecting everything we do and every one we meet. The latter simply bids you to be satisfied with a kaleidoscope of fleeting experiences.
The two traditions that have nurtured me the Biblical and the Classical heritage of Plato and Aristotle are one in maintaining that the chief good for us human beings is personal worth or virtue- goodness of character. With goodness of character there is no competition. All external goods are limited and conditional, what one has another cannot have. But the one thing one cannot give to a person or take from him, which he must achieve through his own struggle and overcoming the forces that restrain him, that will to be good and to do good has a value at once intrinsic and inexhaustible.
High Holiday Pledge
Tzedakah – is an ancient tradition in the Jewish religion.
To be in the position to give obligates us to share.
Dear Friends of Chavurah Beth Shalom,
Your generosity in recent years has enabled us to grow and flourish as a congregation. In spite of increased costs we have been able to maintain the quality of our programs, through inspiring worship services, outstanding religious school and adult education programs and a dedicated professional staff. Furthermore, we have been able to maintain an extremely reasonable fee structure as compared with other congregations in Bergen County. Judaism teaches us that
“ . . . one person, man or woman, can make a difference.” This promise implies responsibility – and may be an obligation to do our best and to be the best in serving our community.
Many have expressed the desire to have their High Holy Day contributions in the past directed toward a specific program or activity. Toward that end we have provided a summary of these categories so that you might decide which ones you wish to support. Please fill out the pledge card below and return it to us in the mail or at services on Yom Kippur.
Our Rabbis, officers and staff wish you and your families a L’Shana Tova.
The High Holy Days
Rental of The Bergen Performing Arts Center
Stage crew and theater staff
The High Holy Day chorus, conductor and organ rental
The Alpine Community House
Rental of the building for Friday evening and Saturday morning services
Religious school teacher’s salaries and materials
Custodial fees
Congregational Activities
Youth programs and field trips
Guest lectures and musical recitals
Social action and outreach
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High Holiday Pledge
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$25$50$100 $250 $500 $1000 $2500 $5000 Other $______
Visa or Mastercard Number: ______
Expiration Date:______
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Thank you for your support!
Please make your check payable and remit to
Chavurah Beth Shalom, P.O. Box 417, Tenafly, NJ 07670
Want to come to services?
Friday evening services along with Shabbat morning minyan services and the Ephraim Woolman Judaic study class are normally held at the Alpine Community House, Old Dock Road (off Closter Dock Road) in Alpine, New Jersey.
Can’t drive?
We will only be too happy to accommodate you!
If driving doesn’t agree with you, we will arrange to get you to the shul for services. Just call on Thursday and we will arrange for a ride for you on Friday or Saturday so that you can attend services.
If you are in a position to give someone else a ride to the Alpine Community House or you need a ride, please call Janine Schwartz at (201) 567-9783 or Rabbi Benjamin at (201) 567-7806.
Religious School News by Debra Kronberg
It is a pleasure to walk around our school and see the children busy learning, discussing and creating. We have a first rate; creative faculty and they are all doing a fantastic job. This year we welcome to our faculty, Esther Goodhart, who brings her wit, teaching talent and passion for Judaism to our school. We also welcome Cantor Stan Kronberg. They will be joining our established group of dedicated teachers: Esther Berkowitz, Shiri Gall, Ruth Dollinger, Helen Goody, Janine Schwarz, Rabbi Benjamin and myself, Debra Kronberg. We also extend a special welcome to our many new religious school families.
Although there will be no Religious School until Wednesday October 19, our students are expected to attend High Holiday Services. For families with young children, our Chavurah will be holding family/children’s services on the first day of Rosh Hashanah, October 4, at 2 p.m. and on Yom Kippur, Thursday, October 13, at 2 p.m.
Please mark on your calendars our SUKKOT AND SIMCAT TORAH FAMILY SERVICE AND CELEBRATION on Friday, October 21, at 7:30 p.m. Sukkah decorating begins at 7 p.m. All religious School students are required to attend our Family Shabbat Services.
Our first Back to School Night on September 28th gave our parents the opportunity to meet our wonderful teachers and to learn more about what our Chavurah has to offer. The partnership between our Religious School and parents is vital to give our students a meaningful Jewish education.
It is interesting to observe in our popular culture, that "Nick at Night" has been promoting an "Eat Dinner with your Kids Night", encouraging family togetherness. This week's edition of Life magazine also featured an article on the popularity of Sunday family dinners, once again in our society.
For Jews, the tradition of family togetherness and sharing meals together has always continued. Every Friday night, Jews around the world put the hectic workweek behind them as they gather around the Shabbat table. After blessings over the candles,
wine and challah, a delicious meal and lively conversation follow.
What a wonderful gift it would be to give our families the experience of Shabbat. In light of the recent catastrophes, how appropriate for us to join together with our family once a week and recount our blessings and what we are thankful for before putting some coins into a Tzedakah box for those less fortunate. Please think about giving your children the gift of Shabbat and family togetherness in a Jewish context for The New Year.
We extend a special welcome to our many new Religious School children and their families. We encourage all religious school students and parents to check out our website. On the website you will find a religious school calendar for next term as well as important up to the minute religious school news and registration forms.
Please note the following rules for safety during religious school drop-off and pick-up. We ask all parents to observe the following guidelines:
1. Do not enter Old Dock Road from Closter Dock Road. Turn onto Main Street and drive around the block leading to the Community House and take your place in line.
2. Do not park your vehicles and enter the building to pick up your children. This is extremely hazardous for you as well as for them and it only slows down the whole dismissal procedure.
3. If you drive a car pool, explain to your group that they should wait together inside the building so that we do not have to search for them when your car pulls up and is ready to be boarded.
4. If you have any questions about these procedures, please call us at (201) 567-7806. Many thanks for your co-operation in the past and in the Wednesdays to come.
5. Except in very extreme emergencies, children will not be dismissed early. Please do not enter the schoolroom to seek an early release for your child. It is disruptive to the other students and teachers.