3.2.2.3.5.2 ENGINEERING LOVE (INITIAL DRAFT)
This short sequence of articles is the root of Kreutz Ideology. The draft is unchanged. Most of the ideas elaborated in Kreutz Ideology are already present in the draft that I have written decades ago. Unlike novelists who hide own opinions in fictitious characters, I present an opinion as mine. And I only write one book.
3.2.2.3.5.2.1 Geography and love
What men and women consider attractive in the opposite sex always reflects, to a certain extent, common evaluations and assessments of the societies into which they are born. Their behavior is much less unique than they believe. It’s a behavior shaped by their environments and the traditions of a place. Even a woman’s taste in men, and their ideas of an ideal husband, are not really their own but properties and characteristics of their societies. Likewise, what men regard as beautiful in women often mirrors perceptions in their environment.
In some countries, white Western men rank top on a scale of attractiveness. This is the case in a number of East African nations, as well as in the Philippines and Indonesia.
In some segments of the Japanese society (more than anywhere else), African men have an edge over European men (purely for sexual considerations). In Germany, men from the Caribbean have an amazingly easy time finding local girls.
It works the other way around, too. Very ordinary looking European woman will have an easy time finding an Indian husband, and he will bake in the prestige of having a European wife. Chinese as well as Thai men apparently gain prestige by having a white wife, just as do Filipinas with an American husband. What carries prestige also appears physically attractive.
You better dedicate some time to research before deciding on the best setting for your love life.
Often, it’s a good idea to go somewhere where you are different. Blue eyes are considered very attractive and sexy in many places around the world, except maybe in Scandinavia and Russia, where they are an ordinary feature. To be different from the bulk of your competitors can give you an important edge.
White Western men are considered more attractive than their local counterparts in many countries of the world.
3.2.2.3.5.2.2 Chasing and flattering
Some girls don’t think men who chase women are cool. But as long as a boy or man isn’t getting too much on their nerves, most girls and young women feel flattered if a man chases them.
You can go all out to show interest. If you do so, you’ll have a chance to land her in bed even if from the beginning, she didn’t contemplate you as a sexual partner. She may even be in a steady relationship with,or married to, another man whom she loves. What sweet illusion!
You want to have a lasting impact. Teach them a lesson. Destroy their marriage.
She may steadily refuse you… for how long? Go all out. Tell her she’s the most beautiful woman you have ever met. Tell her she’s the woman of your dreams. Demand that she divorce. Tell her that you will marry her. You haven’t slept with her yet. Never mind. Tell her that you will be faithful with her until the end of your days. Tell her that if she doesn’t grant you a night together, you will never again touch a woman. Promise her anything you think she would like… or rather: like to hear. Don’t worry, you don’t have to keep any of your promises. She won’t believe them either. It’s just that they sound so nice. She’ll like to hear them, but she won’t believe them. Or, after a while, she believes them a little bit. They just sound so nice.
If you have time, wait for her. Wait for her when she leaves her school or work place. You don’t have to talk to her if it would be embarrassing for her. Just make sure that she sees you. Give her the feeling that you are really, really interested in her. But keep an ironical twist to it. Promise her so much that she impossibly can believe that you are serious. It’s a charming game. Smile while playing it.
You’ll have your day, I guarantee it. You have a great advantage over her husband. They live together. You just meet her when you plan for it.
Their living together won’t always be harmonious. Sometimes they will argue, and sometimes she will be disappointed with him. She even may sometimes desire sexual intercourse when he is not in the mood, or when he is busy with his work. Sorry, my Darling.
Watch out for the days before her menstruation. You’ll have your chance. She will grant it to you, at least once. And if you can give her a good time, she’ll be back for more.
And then, go all out for victory. Make sure her husband will learn about it. Fuck up their marriage. Why? Because marriage as an institution is a disease. It can never be what it is pretended to be. If anything, it can be a depository of losers, of men and women who can’t have what they want, so they take what they can get.
In spite of all your promises, you won’t be foolish enough to replace the idiot she has been with until she met you. You’ll leave her at a time when it will still hurt her, not you.
3.2.2.3.5.2.3 What are we living for?
This essay on the science of love deals primarily with the question of how we can provoke and manipulate others so that a person by whom we want to be loved loves us. Nevertheless, I want to address some less technical and more philosophical issues as well.
Why, in the first place, do I dedicate so much of my creative energy trying to find out how love works? Financial interest definitely is not the engine behind it. If my interests would be financial, I would never have chosen writing as a profession.
I dedicate so much of my energy to thinking and writing about love, because it’s so essential to my philosophical outlook.
I have not elected to be born, and I would have been thankful if my parents could have been more constrained around the time I was conceived. I don’t really believe that there is any use in being alive. Most life really is just suffering. And for what? When we’re dead, it will just be the same as if we never were born. Our selves are just in the realm of thought, but they are bound to the temporary existence of our bodies. The moment we die, it’s all over.
I see no advantage in living but I’m a victim of nature. A rather essential mechanism of all living matter, an instinctive fear of death (nonsensical as it may be) prevents me from doing what reason commands me to do, which is, to put my worthless life to an end by my own hands, and to do so NOW.
I’ve read many books on suicide, including manuals on how to do it. It may sound funny, but I find comfort in reading suicide manuals. Nevertheless I’m not decrepit enough yet to proceed, or not courageous enough, or just too firmly in the grip of that mechanism of all living matter, an instinctive fear of death.
Not seeing enough sense in being alive but afraid to commit suicide, I pass my time in the pursuit of those moments when I forget that whole shithouse.
In my late teens and early twenties, I was quite happy chasing the opportunity for nothing but sexual intercourse. I wanted girls to fall in love with me so they would let me in. I regularly had a steady girlfriend, but I never stayed long with a particular one. It wasn’t that much that they couldn’t satisfy me. Rather, many other girls I encountered too easily aroused me. I usually preferred a new one over the previous one. I liked the challenge and the newness, and I could be single-minded for hours when starting a new relationship. No melancholy and no thoughts on the future or the past. Just determined to copulate. It was a time of ready erections, and I could reach a climax easily… though I did usually aim for full intercourse. I didn’t care so much whether the girls were beautiful, for as long as they were willing. I never had to worry whether my response would work.
But I have lost interest in that life-style.
There now has to be more than just willingness on their part. They have to be in love with me, I have to be in love with them, and the whole affair needed some tragic elements. I could never just hire a prostitute.
Have I become victim of my own success? I have laid a number of girls, and though in more recent years, some of the girls I met in less prosperous countries may have had economic considerations, none were prostitutes.
If my problems were diagnosed as boredom because of too much sexual experience, I’d happily agree to a dose of Alzheimer’s.
On the other hand, the expertise I have gained in the science of love has been born out of the same difficulty. For many years now, easy solutions are no longer an option for me. Love and sexuality has to be something extraordinary to these girls, which really disqualifies casual lays. It has to be love, not just sex, in order to give me that kick which makes me forget the meaninglessness of life. I need to be involved in a Romeo and Juliet setting in order to be really entertained.
I’m strange in another way, too. Even though I don’t hold my own life in high esteem (it’s such an unimportant flash in time), I do go a long distance to preserve the little value that it has. I’m a law-abiding man, primarily because being jailed would destroy every perspective of getting out of life the only thing that matters… those moments in the arms of a desired women when I can forget that whole shithouse.
I’m also extraordinarily careful to avoid accidents because becoming disfigured would have the same effect as being jailed. And I eat healthy, don’t drink and don’t smoke, because all of this would interfere with either a sufficiently appealing presentation of myself, or with my own ability to enjoy what really is the only thing worth living for.
If I’m not pursuing a love affair, all I’m doing is preparing for one, either by taking care of my financial basis, or by improving, in any way, the position from which I start, e.g. learning a language for a place where I want to find a new girlfriend, or working on my physique, or studying options for the future. I practically don’t waste any time on any other entertainment. All I do is just in service to the pursuit of that specific little happiness that let’s me forget the worthlessness of my own existence.
And mind you, I’m not depressed, I’m just realistic. I only don’t like to fall victim to illusions about the sense of living. The sad truth is, there is none.
3.2.2.3.5.2.4 The benefits of jealousy
Why in the world should a man in good standing and in full possession of intellectual capacities select to be jealous? Isn’t being jealous terribly uncomfortable? Doesn’t it just hurt, confuse, depress, humiliate? Oh yeah, it does all of this, and a lot of other shit as well.
Sorry, but it also makes for the best sex. If they could package jealousy in pills as an erection aide, it would outsell Pfizer’s Blue. Why? Because it works so well. The most important sex organ of a man or a woman is not what is hidden within their underwear. It’s what they carry in between their two ears.
Like with any strong medicine, the problem with jealousy is the side effects. Depression, feeling humiliated, an uncontrollable mix of anger and desire, and so on. Jealousy has to be managed if one wants to enjoy the better parts of it. To manage it, it has to be demystified. As jealousy is not so much a subject of popular science as are, for example, the requirements for a woman to reach a climax, a large number of people are hit by it without being able to analyze it.
As a matter of fact, jealousy is not difficult to understand. It occurs as sexual envy.If a mother gives a large apple to one child, and only a small one to the other, the one who received the small apple will be envious. For sexual jealousy to occur in a man, something sexual that the first man desires has to be given to another man, or at least that’s what he feels. The event doesn’t have to occur in the present time. We are equipped with enough imagination to relive in the present something that has happened in the past.
I have mentioned that from my early youth, I wanted to become an expert in the field of love. I wanted to understand the mechanisms of love in order to apply them to my own advantage. I do feel that I have progressed in my endeavor. There have been a considerable number of women who have loved me, and I feel that if I have real interest in a woman, I do have a chance to win her heart. Obviously, I don’t always succeed. But I’m also not always a failure. In my opinion, there are two kinds of love, one that follows the mechanisms of jealousy, and one that follows the mechanisms of best friendship. If you ask me, the mechanisms of the first one are easier to apply. One just has to follow some simple rules.
However, while easier to install in the first place, the kind of love that is based on jealousy is much more difficult to maintain than the one based on friendship, though not all love based on jealousy is exactly the same. I mentioned at another place that I feel reasonable sure that if a young woman agrees to a sexual relationship with me, I will be able to install in her some degree of love for me. This may sound strange primarily to people of a Western cultural background, as they tend to see love as something rather magical. It’s not magical, it’s factual. Of course, a young woman doesn’t always agree to enter into a sexual relationship with a man because she loves him, though many cultures dictate such a setting. The reasons for which a young woman agrees to a sexual relationship with a man (who doesn’t have to be a particular one) are manifold and often much more ordinary than love: seeking sexual pleasure, or just wanting to try; wanting to forget another man whom she loved; or a gain of status; in certain cultures where lack of reason for fear is combined with a generally low standard of living, plain financial interest may often be a consideration, especially when entering into a sexual relationship with a mid-age Western man.
If you are in a relationship with a young woman, and the base for this relationship is not love; and if furthermore, you would like this woman to love you; if this is the case, just talk with her about your previous sexual relationships. Talk at random. There surely will be scenes that will appeal to her own sexual fantasies, and especially these scenes will, sooner or later, make her jealous. If you tell her that you felt sheer bliss while strolling in a city park with a previous girlfriend, she will want that you feel more bliss when strolling in the same park with her. If you tell her that with a previous woman, you often had four climaxes a night, she will want that you have five with her. Tell her that you so much loved the way your previous girlfriend smiled, and she will stand in the front of a mirror an check what’s wrong with her own smile. If you tell her that you regarded your previous girlfriend a perfect woman for the way she loved you, she will want to be regarded as more perfect, even if it means that she has to love you more than the previous one. People are so terribly easy to manipulate.
And by the same mechanisms by which I succeed manipulating others, I also can manipulate myself. If I want to install some love in myself for a specific person, I will just start talking with that person about her previous love affairs. That works. I will get involved. I will feel hurt. I will want to possess her, and finally, I will love her. I will build a trap, and then I will step into it myself. (Hopefully I will, at the end of the day, find a way out of it.) Why should I be so stupid to make myself jealous, even when I know that it hurts, and that it makes me feel inferior and depressed? Well, I’ve had the best sex in my life when I ate my heart out because of jealousy. And I am now at an age where I definitely have a prolonged response time. (I’d love to get rid of it.) I’ve tried all kinds of medications, and I’ve tried them extensively. Most things don’t work, and those that do work, such as bromocriptine and yohimbine, only work for a certain period of time. Genuine jealousy always works. It can make you a real sexual giant.
But hey, you are playing with fire. You have to be aware that if you are sufficiently jealous for a particular person, you will lose sexual interest in others. And if that particular person doesn’t give you an opportunity to sleep with her, where do you go with all your sexual power. You can be a giant with her and impotent with any other. (Of course that’s the kind of love we’d like to install in her herself. That her sexual thoughts are so much centered on us that she just doesn’t feel the slightest desire for anybody else.) If I’m capable to manipulate myself into it, can I also manage to get myself out of this mess called jealousy? Though it may sometimes be hard, I guess I know how to do it. Basically, there are two routes. The one is to turn love into hate, and the other is rather homeopathic: combat the jealousy for her with some jealousy for somebody else. I dare to say that jealousy without hate makes a fine love. You can install jealousy without hate in a woman, and you can install it in yourself if you follow a simple rule. The simple rule is that it must be jealousy without reason to feel wronged.