Goodrich/ Sordid Secrets/ Chapter 11/ Page 15

Goodrich/ Sordid Secrets/ Chapter 11/ Page 15

Chapter Eleven

Taking a champagne glass from the sideboard, he slipped outdoors to the terrace. Colin knew where she would have escaped, or at least where the Nic he had known would have escaped. But he needed to still his quickened heart, anger and desire before he could see her again. Quietly closing the large glass door behind him, he studied the woman from behind. He knew it was her, just by her presence in the air. He paused and part of him fought to continue being angry with her— to face her and then out her ill deeds in front of all of society. The other part of Colin wondered how it would be to meet with her gaze one moment more. He had a feeling she knew he was there, but wouldn’t turn around. Colin moved closely behind her and whispered, “the last I saw of you, you were in my robe… you looked perfect.” Her back straightened in reply as he continued, “I’m glad to see things don’t change.”

Nic pulled her champagne glass to her lips and finished the bubbly liquor. Then she slowly turned to face him. “My sangue azul … I’m disappointed it took you this long to find me.”

He tightened his grip on his own glass. Her voice held the same sultry purr he had longed to hear. They fell into silence, as they studied each other. As if they were each looking for some deeper change in the other during their time apart. To Colin, she was just as breathtaking as in Portugal—though in a different way. Her long black tresses were neatly pinned back with tiny topaz stones locking around every other curl. Her deeply cut gown mirrored fashions from empirical France—something that was shocking not only because the French empire had fallen, but also because British women were now more modest in the cuts of their gowns. The azure color of the dress showed off the darkness of her hair and eyes, while accentuating her creamy skin. There was still a hint of sunkiss on her shoulders left from her days in Portugal, though she was already fading back in color to match the ladies of society who mainly stayed indoors.

Colin knew she was waiting for his next move, but he was too preoccupied with remembering her face. All he could hear was his steady heartbeat pounding against his thoughts, keeping him from making any sane decision or conclusion at that time. Finally collecting himself, Colin flatly asked, “how was Paris?”

“Paris? I can see you’ve listened to the room’s gossip.” Nic laughed. Her eyes lit up with the light he knew so well. Then she lowered her voice to their shared secret. “What about Lisbon, Colin?”

“What about Lisbon, Nic?” he snapped.

“Oh, you’re in a foul disposition.” She took the champagne glass slowly from his hands. When her fingers swept across his, he suddenly remembered the feel of her in his arms. She was teasing every craving he held for her. Nic whispered seductively, “I preferred Lisbon to Paris… the diversions were more enticing.”

He didn’t understand her games. Why did she hold the same mischievous inclination in her voice as in Lisbon? There, Colin thought she was being charming, but now Colin wanted true answers. “Do you even understand who I really am?”

“I know who you are now, I know who you were in Lisbon and I know where you were before all the hatred set in,” she suddenly bitterly referred to the time other than Lisbon. It was as if she was angry he even asked. As if she hated being reminded of the reality of their names, but also wanted to live in the simplicity they shared in Portugal. “Before the corruption began and the game controlled your life.”

Colin hated seeing her so resentful in remembrance. Yet he understood the resentment embedded in her by heritage but what of her resentment from Lisbon? But then it was her own doing, all the lies in Lisbon. Promptly, he asked with annoyance, “did you know who I was from the first meeting in Lisbon?”

“Yes.”

His annoyance turned into anger. “I don’t understand. Why did you stay with me if you knew who I was? Our families hate each other—”

“Because in Lisbon it was new. I was curious to know who you were without recognition of my last name. The true Colin… without the attachment of lineage from your father’s Baron, or your Sir, or family’s Avenry.”

“But why?”

“I don’t know!” She screamed, as if she were as confused as he was.

He was speechless. Why would a Noble care about what he truly was? Wait. When was the last occasion any member of society cared who he truly was? True members of society believed only what they wanted to believe. He stepped in front of her and gaze heavily into her deep grey eyes. They continued to stare at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Suddenly, Colin delicately removed a fallen strand of raven hair from her forehead. He felt her stiffen under his touch. It was as if she were finally embarrassed to have a man touch her—as she should since she was now pretending to be a proper lady. But was it this impropriety, or was it that it was he who was the one touching her? Her sparkling eyes looked as if tears had started to well and she turned her face from his.

In a broken whisper, she said. “Why do you look upon me with those same eyes?”

“What do you mean?”

“I figured since you now know who I am, then you would look upon me as the rest of them.” She gestured to the ballroom.

What was this he was hearing? Insecurity? The Nic he had known knew no insecurity. Was it due to the nature of their surroundings? Could she only be bold outside of society? Could she only be free away from here? Somehow, Colin understood her more than ever. He felt all these things. For within society, he would have never dared to care for anyone such as Nic. With all honesty, Colin said in a steady voice, “You are the same girl as in Lisbon.”

“Doesn’t the fact that I’m a Noble change who I am from the cheap barmaid you assumed I was?” Nicolette continued to avoid his searching gaze.

“To start with, you were never a cheap barmaid. Yes, you are different in London, but it isn’t because of your family’s name.”

“What’s missing?”

“Well, in Lisbon you seemed to smile more. You were happier there, despite all the trouble you seemed to get into.” Colin raised her chin with his fingertip to meet with water filled stony eyes. It was as if a river was flowing over a rockbed. “Also, your eyes are different than before.”

“Darker. It’s the captivity I’m kept under in London.” Nicolette turned her face from his touch and moved to lean against the terrace rail.

“You hate it here.”

“More than you could imagine.”

“You’re forgetting something—”

“Not as much as you have apparently,” she snapped. Something had changed. As if she suddenly remembered something. Quickly, Nicolette moved back from him and slanting her words in warning. “You shouldn’t even be speaking to me, Avenry. If your Tessa or Elliot were to find us, not to mention Alexander… think of the scandal.”

“Nic—”

“Nicolette is my name.”

Colin slyly smiled, “not the name I remember.”

His found temptress narrowed her steely eyes and quickly wet her overly full lips before continuing the banter. “Colin, I know you think me a brazen woman, but I simply can’t be that girl here in London. No one will let me be that here. Also… I made a promise to be better.”

“Don’t try to pass off your behavior, Nicolette; it doesn’t sit well with the sharpness of your character.” His sly smile turned into a devious smirk.

“I know you were attracted to that character. But we both know that duty to our families will squash any real independence we have.”

Her flat statement hit too close to the truth. He wanted to leave her in the middle of the emotion as she had left him on so many occasions. But Colin knew he would be the one worse off for leaving. “Perhaps. Listen, Nic, I don’t like being left in the dust of your foreign persona, like in Lisbon. And I don’t like being lied to when such a lie could shatter both our lives back here in London. I need to know something…”

He was faltering. This wasn’t what he needed to be asking her. What he should be asking was why she lied to him. Did she think he wouldn’t discover the truth? Hell, they lived in the same blasted society. Or was there some other reason for her treachery? Like her brother putting her up to the task of trapping him. Such a thought made him sick.

But these weren’t the questions that he really wanted to ask. He wasn’t sure if he even wanted the truth. He had to get out of here before he fell back into her trap. He stood motionless for a few moments, as they continued to stare at each other. He had to get the truth, even if he didn’t want it. Why couldn’t he just leave his emotions out of it and just stick to what was important? His mind was spinning. Colin wasn’t sure he could continue this anymore. He took one last look at the beautiful vixen before him and turned, walking towards the glass doors to the ballroom.

Nic softly called after him, “Colin… in Lisbon…I was—”

“What?” He quickly spun around and began to let words tumble angrily from his lips. “Nic, I need to know why you set yourself on me and then left me. Because I feel that there is something else here between us. I don’t know what it is.”

She shook her head, but could not answer him. Instead, Nicolette turned to look over the gardens below.

“Damn it, Nic. Who was that girl I met? The girl who hungered for life—especially one far away from all this?”

“In Lisbon,” she calmly whispered.

“Then who are you?”

“Nobody… nobody of any importance to an Avenry.”

Colin stood frozen at her declaring his name against hers. How dare she, especially after everything he did for her. Could she truly be that cold? No, Colin knew the truth. He had felt the heat of her once and he knew he could feel it again.

Without looking at him she callously declared. “Your Tessa is probably looking for you, so leave.”

She was suddenly pushing him away, just like she had their first night in Lisbon. Now it made sense why she fled him when things became serious. Because she knew who he truly was and the consequences of their actions. Without thought to her warning, Colin slid behind her, brushing his body against her back. She quickly tensed to his touch. His feet touched the bottom of her dress, the heavy skirt rustling at the contact. Colin ran the back of his hand across her hot alabaster cheek and down her long soft neck. Nicolette closed her eyes—her eyelashes fluttering to the contact. As if she were not thinking, Nicolette leaned heavily back into him. When he felt her weight on him, Colin whispered seductively in her ear, “I know who you are… not here in London… not as a Noble… not in Lisbon… but the real you – we shared that much.”

She turned in his embrace, not moving from him. The moon was hidden, creating only shadows on the terrace, yet he didn’t need to see her fully anymore. He felt her bending towards him, resting herself in his embrace. Colin bent his head down to feel her mouth, as he had wanted so many times. But a gaggle of voices broke his intent. He pulled her quickly by the waist—partially lifting her as to not have her trip on her gown. They hurried down the side stairs to shroud themselves in the garden. Nic had no choice but to be swept away by his pull and crouch down with him in the shadows. Colin kept his hands tightly around her waist as they watched two fair haired ladies search the terrace.

“Where can he be?” Tessa demanded.

“Stop this search of yours, it is despicable how you follow Colin around at every ball,” Celeste replied. She lit a long dark cigarette, though she knew ladies of her station were frowned upon for smoking in public. Colin had grown to distrust his sister-in-law over the past decade. He knew she had never been true to his family. Celeste had married Elliot for his money and position, though Colin knew she had been in love with another—Asher Noble. She was introduced into British society as an Avenry, though she was nothing more than a commoner from a poor Scottish farmer’s family. Now, she tightly clung to her rank as an elite society member, but Colin would always remember her as a simple peasant girl.

“Celeste, please do not forget that this is your husband’s bargain with my family,” Tessa snidely pointed out.

“Business arrangement only, my dear Tessa,” Celeste corrected. The two women talked to each other with a feigned friendship and common bond as Avenry women. But it was obvious to any who had spent more than a few minutes with them that the pair held no respect for the other.

“I know my father will not follow through, with any of the business arrangements unless Colin marries me.” Tessa’s point was the truth, Colin and Celeste both knew.

Celeste took the younger girl’s hand and assured her, “He proposed, didn’t he? Colin will marry you. It may just take some time.”

“Well, you should tell Elliot that I have four other affluent offers waiting for me.”

“We all know, dear. You made enough of a spectacle of yourself with Mr. Douglas in the park.”

“Yes, well, that was just to catch Colin’s attention.”

Celeste sighed at Tessa’s useless attempts and continued to argue for the benefit of the Avenry family. “Well, none of your other offers come with the business prospects your father is interested in.”

Caught by the light from the ballroom, Tessa’s ashen face flushed with exasperation. She knew that her fate lied in the hands of her father’s business aspirations. She was like chattel to be traded. Not a daughter to be matched in any way that benefitted her. It was rather sad, though Tessa had long accepted this fate. “But at least my father won’t be made a fool of by the Avenry family.”

Celeste dropped her friend’s hand and bristled at the accusation. Before speaking her eyes narrowed and she took a long dramatic drag of her cigarette. “What, pray tell, did you intend with that complaint? Also, please regard my current sir name in your response.”