GOOGLY
Written by
Mehul Oza
May 11, 2009
INT. DAY - DRESSING ROOM OF CRICKETERS
Cricket coach Singh is lecturing his cricket team in the dressing room of cricket players. Players are seated on chairs. Coach is standing close to a coffee table.
COACH SINGH
(walking across the table.)
Aaj hum sab...(He stops talking when he sees team's captain Sanjit pulling his nostril hair and points it out to him saying.) Sanjit naak khodana band karo aur main jo kahe raha hoon woh dhyan se suno. Tum team ke captain ho.
SANJIT
(very quickly pulls out his hand from his nose and says apologetically.)
I am sorry coach.
Coach sees another player Sunil sleeping on his chair and walks towards him. Other players of the team observe sleeping Sunil, look at coach going towards him and smirk. Coach takes his mouth near Sunil's ear and does sound of alarm in his ears.
COACH
Ring ring ring ring!
Coach's voice wakes Sunil with a jolt. Coach stares him down.
COACH
(sarcastically and loudly.)
Good morning!
SUNIL
(he looks afraid of more insult and says apologetically.)
I am sorry coach.
COACH
(says loudly and sarcastically again.)
Nahi nahi I am sorry jo tumhe vice captain bana diya hai. Ab agar tumhari nind puri ho gayi ho to kuchh kahoon?
Sunil nods. Then rubs his eyes, looks at coach attentively and says
SUNIL
Haan coach.
The coach stares him down and then looks away to face the others.
COACH
(sarcastically.)
Jaisa ki aap sab janate hi honge hum kayi araso se ek bhi game nahi jite hain aur team ka haal dekh kar to aisa mahesus ho raha hai ki shayad aap ke retire hone tak nahi jitenge.
A player named Vijay interferes.
VIJAY
(jokingly.)
Magar hum kabhi retire hi na ho to?
COACH
(turning and looking at Vijay and saying sarcastically.)
To main ho jaunga! (looking at the others again.) Kabhi dekhata hoon ki kisi ka hath kaam nahi kar raha hai to kabhi dekhata hoon ki kisi ka pair kaam nahi kar raha hai. Agar is baar jit kar nahi laute to main khud aap sab ki taange tod dunga.
ANIL
(says jokingly to his teammates.)
Achha hai. Kam se kam hume khelane to nahi jana padega.
All laugh. Coach stares at them coldly. They stop laughing and react apologetically.
COACH
(saying sarcastically to Anil.)
Kash yeh mumakin hota. Hum kam se kam aap logo ki jagahe koi kabil khiladiyo ko to de sakate. (Turning away from Anil and looking at all.) Aap logo ko zarur kisi lachar pal me chunana pada hoga varana humari team itani ghatiya nahi hoti. Aap sab ko abhi bhi pata na ho to bata doon ki yeh cricket ground hai bagicha nahi hai ki nind khuli, nashta kiya aur sair-sapata karane ke liye chale aao. Aap log to gali cricket khelane ke layak bhi nahi ho. Main to kaheta hoon cricket to kya aap to luka-chhupi khelane ke bhi layak nahi ho. (Saying loudly.) Main aap logo ko akhari warning de raha hoon. Aap agar is baar nahi jite to main aap logo ko team se bahar kar dunga. (Coach stops talking. Players are silently watching him. Coach speaks again.) Ab mera muh kis liye taak rahe ho? Kya third umpire ke faisale ke liye ruke ho? Get out!
The players walk towards the exit door of the dressing room. Coach Singh picks up a ball from the table near him, throws the ball at players in anger and says
COACH
(throwing the ball.)
Catch!
Sanjit tries to catch the ball but ball hits him on his fist and he falls. Ball then flies towards Sunil. Sunil tries to catch the ball too but it hits him on his palm and flies towards Vijay. Sunil falls on a table put close to him. There are some mugs on the table. Sunil falls on mugs and they break. Sudden sight of the ball rushing towards Vijay's face startles him. Vijay opens his hands to catch the ball but the ball hits him on his eye and goes downwards. Anil jumps down towards the floor to catch the ball but the ball falls on the floor before Anil can catch it. Anil is falling on the floor and pulls Vijay’s right leg for support. Vijay tries to stand in balance but ends up falling on Anil.
COACH
(is shocked and shouts.)
Tumane yeh catch chhod diya? Itana aasan catch chhod diya? Mera ji karata hai ki main cricket chhod doon. Sab ke sab nikamme ho. (Stressing the word more.) Nikamme. Get lost.
The players get up and leave.
CUT-TO:
EXT. DAY - CRICKET PLAYGROUND
Sanjit and his team are walking on ground. They seem to be going to play a cricket match with Australia. We see a big scoreboard on playground. It shows this message- India vs. Australia. Third One-Day International. Australia leads the series 2-0. The players are walking towards the fielding positions on the playground. In the cricket lingo the fielding positions are called Slip, Gully, Mid-on, Mid-off, Long-on, Long-off, etc. It looks like Australian team is going to bat first.
SANJIT
Sunil tum mid-on par raho. Vijay tum mid-off par raho. Anil tum ghar jaao.
Anil walks impulsively. Then realizes that Sanjit is joking and stops.
SANJIT
Mazak kar raha hoon. Long-on par raho.
The game begins. BG music plays. The umpire shows way to the first bowler. The bowler is running with gusto. BG music continues. Two commentators are doing commentary from commentary box amid the BG music.
FIRST COMMENTATOR
Khel shuru ho chuka hai. Australia ne toss jit kar pahele ballebazi karane ka faisala kiya hai. Gendabaz paheli gend karane ke liye taiyar hai.
The bowler is looking at the batsman aggressively and bowls very fast. But the ball is Wide. The umpire signals it wide-ball by his stretching arms on sides.
SECOND COMMENTATOR
Is gend ko Wide ball ghoshit kiya gaya hai. Yeh gend off-stump se bahot bahar thi. Gendabaz ne kharab shuruat ki hai. Unhone gend par se apana niyatran puri tarah se kho diya tha.
On the next ball the bowler almost crashes in the umpire and stops without bowling.
FIRST COMMENTATOR
Is baar gendabaz ne apana santulan phir kho diya hai. Woh umpire se lagabhag takara hi gaye the. Unake sathi unase baat kar rahe hain.
His teammates talk to him.
CUT-TO:
Third time the bowler gets the ball right but batsman hits the ball towards boundary.
SECOND COMMENTATOR
Ballebaz ne back-foot par ho kar cover ki tarf khubasurati se drive kar diya hai.
Sanjit jumps to stop the hit but falls before the ball reaches him. The ball bounces off his body and goes out of the boundary.
FIRST COMMENTATOR
Char run! Sanjit ne gend ko rokane ki koshish ki thi magar woh kafi nahi thi. Gendabaz bhi tisari koshish ke baad hi thik se gendabazi kar paaye the lekin tisari baar bhi nakamayab rahe hai.
SECOND COMMENTATOR
Jee haan Ramesh. Gendabaz third time bhi unlucky rahe hain.
CUT-TO:
The batsman hits one more ball towards boundary. Sunil tries to stop the ball but falls. The commentators can be heard talking slightly in BG music.
FIRST COMMENTATOR
Gend boundary ki aur ja rahi hai. Sunil ne gend ko rokane ki koshish ki thi magar use rokane me nakaam rahe hai.
He gets up and stops the ball somehow and throws it to the fielders but realizes he had slid inside the boundary rope with the ball in his hands. The umpire signals four runs. The commentary fades in crowd sound and BG music and remains that way until the end of the game. Scoreboard shows- Australia- 50/0 in 5 overs. The other players are slapping their foreheads seeing Sunil standing inside the boundary. On the next ball, Vijay is yawning. The batsman plays his shot. The ball hits Vijay on leg. The sudden hit stops his yawn. He tries to grab the ball but falls and gets up. Then runs after the ball. The ball crosses the boundary rope. The batsman hits the next ball high. Anil runs to catch it and gets under the ball. But his hat falls on his eyes and he drops the catch. The next ball flies out of the stadium and hits someone’s car. We hear the car screeching. Another ball meets the same fate. Thankfully, for the bowler the next ball isn’t hit. However, when the bowler relaxes a little and turns to the umpire he signals it to be a No-ball. The coach is watching from the stands and is playing with the ball. He does action of throwing it on one of the players. Then he does action of shouting but settles on biting his nails. The next bowler is rubbing the ball on thigh. The batsman looks at him menacingly. The bowler keeps rubbing the ball in fear. The umpire looks at him suspiciously. The bowler feels embarrassed and bowls only to be hit again by the batsman. Scoreboard shows- Australia- 250/2 in 40 overs. The fielders give up hope. They are running after the ball tiredly. The ball reaches the boundary rope each time with ease. Batsmen don't take the game seriously and hit shots at will. After one of these hits batsmen are talking to each other in the middle of the cricket pitch.
FIRST BATSMAN
Is baar itana zor se marunga ki ball hi tut jaye.
SECOND BATSMAN:
(challenging him.)
Achha? Main itana zor se marunga ki bat hi tut jaye.
FIRST BATSMAN
(going towards batting crease.)
Dekhate hain.
SECOND BATSMAN
Dekh lena.
The playground is quiet. BG music plays. The bowler bowls. The batsman hits hard with a loud whacking sound. Everything is silent for two seconds. Then the camera zooms on the ball. The ball has broken and falls on the ground in pieces. Camera pans on players. They freeze in shock. The crowd boos the bowling side.
CUT-TO:
The bowler is bowling. The batsman hits hard with a loud whacking sound. Everything becomes silent for a while. The camera zooms on the bat. The bat has broken. The broken pieces go flying over the umpire’s head. The umpire ducks. The broken piece of the bat hits the bowler on his head. His teammate catches one of the small pieces of the bat thinking it's the ball and appeals for catch-out. But on realizing that it's a small broken piece of the bat rather than the ball, he throws away the bat piece and looks to see where the ball went. Scoreboard shows- Australia- 350/4 in 50 overs. The crowd boos again and throws water bottles on the fielding side. One of the bottles breaks Sanjit’s eye.
CUT-TO:
Sanjit and his team are getting out quickly. Sanjit gets bowled out on zero. Sunil gets out for 1 run. Rest get out LBW, Caught and Stumped. Whole team gets out on 160 runs. Scoreboard shows- India- 160/10 in 30 overs. Australia wins by 190 runs. Australia wins the series 3-0. The game has ended and again Sanjit’s team has lost. They look shamed and congratulate the winning side. Sanjit is holding his eye and shaking rival’s hand.
CUT-TO:
EXT. DAY - A STREET
Funny BG music plays. The fans are chasing Sanjit and his team on the street and throwing shoes on them. The team find a temple and go inside it. The crowd is still chasing them. The players are saying Hanuman Chalisa. The fans chase them inside the temple. The team circles around the idols saying prayers and belling. The fans do the same. The priest gives them offerings of god but after some nudging and pulling between fans’ and players’ chase priest ends up dropping the plate on players’ and falls on them. All fall down. The fans huddle the team and beat them up. The priest gets up and runs.
CUT-TO:
EXT. AT THE SAME TIME - QUIET TEMPLE
We see idol of God Hanuman. Then we see the players getting up in front of it. They look beaten-up.
SANJIT
(moaning)
Haay! Cricket ki vajay wrestling sikh lete to aaj humare kuchh kaam aa jati.
SUNIL
(moaning)
Aah! Cricket achhe se sikhate to wrestling sikhane ki sochani hi kyun padati?
SANJIT
Sochani kyun padati nahi? Aaj kal cricketers se zyada paise to wrestlers ko milate hain.
VIJAY
Woh sab chhodo. Yahan se chalo. (Bending and unbending his broken hand and saying worriedly but unsurely.) Aah! Shayad mera hath tut gaya hai. Koi ambulance bula do!
ANIL
(touching his own body softly.)
Tera to sirf hath tuta hai mera to sabakuchh tut gaya hai.
SANJIT
(ignoring their conversation and saying in shame.)
Ghar jakar kya jawab denge ma-baap ko?
VIJAY
(pampering his broken hand.)
Kahe denge catch pakadate hue chot aa gayi thi. (moaning) Aah! Oh meri kamar!
ANIL
(ignoring his moan.)
Magar humara bharosa kaun karega? Khair ab yahan se chalo. Humari bachikuchi haddiya todane ke liye kahin se koi aur fans na aa jaye.
All leave.
EXT. MORNING - SANJIT’S APARTMENT
Sanjit’s back is paining and he is limping slowly toward the bathroom. His wife Aarati is reading newspaper on couch and turns to talk to him.
AARATI
Good morning. (noticing limp in his walk and asking worriedly.) Kya hua?
SANJIT
Kuchh nahi. (trying to walk straight.) Very good morning.
AARATI
To aise kyun chal rahe ho? (observing him well.) Thik to ho?
SANJIT
Haan haan bilakul thik hoon. (moans.) Aah!
AARATI
To aisi aawaz kyun kar rahe ho?
SANJIT
(jokingly.)
Shayad meri body ki alarm baj rahi hai.
AARATI
Hospital jane ka time hua hoga. (saying like advising him and also with surety.) Kayi baar kaha hai ki cricket ke liye apani jaan nahi diya karo.
SANJIT
Aarati aisi koi baat nahi hai.
AARATI
Sanjit hamari shadi ko do saal ho gaye hai. Main tumhe achhi tarah se janati hoon.
SANJIT
(hesitates.)
Ha...khelate wakt thodi si chot aa gayi thi.
AARATI:
(nagging and worriedly.)
Main janati thi! Kayi baar kaha hai sambhal kar khela karo. Har dusare din koi na koi chot laga aate ho. (irritatingly.) Ab yahan aaram se let jao. Main doctor ko bulati hoon.