e-Etiquette

She did WHAT?

On more than one occasion within the past few weeks, I have witnessed people talking on the phone in a public restroom. This prompts the question, “What on earth could be so important that they couldn’t call back in 5 minutes?” While talking to someone in this location seems grossly inappropriate (and downright gross), we are at a point in society at which we must rethink the social norms around new technologies. Some might find it acceptable to send a text message to finish up some business from the day while awaiting your breadsticks at the restaurant table, but not appropriate to accept a call during the meal.

Perhaps the best rule of thumb should be thinking about these communications as if they were conversations. Would you carry on a conversation with one person while sitting with someone else? What do we expect the ignored person to do while we chat with the “intruder?”

In a local restaurant I recently witnessed this rude behavior. A couple in their 20’s seemed to be on a date, maybe even a first date. (You know how you can just tell sometimes?) The female received a call on her cell phone and chatted away to what seemed like a friend, what didn’t seem like an emergency situation. I know this because she was speaking loud enough for me to hear the entire conversation from my own table. The young man seemed very awkward. He didn’t know where to look or what to do, other than to put his face in his meal and chomp away. It was as if he wanted to give her privacy, so he didn’t look directly at her.

What a sad situation. I thought he should get up and leave her there to finish her conversation alone. Her disregard for him was appalling. And I am sure she didn’t see it this way at all.

WHAT did you say?

The other aspect of social behavior to keep in mind is our decibel level. For some reason, some of us tend to talk on the phone LOUDER than we would talk to the person next to us. Is it a subconscious desire to actually reach out to that person? Do we think that the microphone is not effective? Whatever the reason, it is this level of decibels that we need to adjust to make cell phone usage acceptable in more locations, such as libraries and book stores. Perhaps “Quiet” zones would help set the precedent.

It is my belief that if we set reasonable standards initially, behavior will follow. For example, it is virtually unnecessary to post NO SMOKING signs in every office space anymore, since laws several years ago established widespread behavior changes. Lighting up a cigarette in an office would be so unusual that it would elicit verbal and nonverbal reproaches from others.

If we show others around us respect and acknowledge personal space, we can rectify and prevent some rude behavior. Jacksonville is an up-and-coming city. We are a growing, young and desirable place to live. Let’s help Jacksonville lead the way in e-Etiquette.

Is this really an issue?

Please take a moment to let your thoughts be known by completing the survey on the next page.


e-Etiquette Survey

Please copy & e-mail this page to with your responses by June 1, 2008. The results of the survey will be posted in the ICATT June 2008 eNewsletter.

1.  Check which of these locations you find it socially acceptable to converse on the phone or send text messages:

Text / Talk / Location / Variables which would effect your answer
In a place of worship
In a movie theatre
At a restaurant
In an internet cafe
During a wedding
During a funeral
In a public restroom
Walking along the street
In a store
In a library
Driving a car
Riding in a car
On a bus
At a friends home during a social visit

2.  In the past month, have you been offended by someone using technological tools instead of greeting you in a customary fashion (e.g., a thank you wave from a car, a smile and verbal greeting in person)? Circle: YES or NO

3.  Have you noticed a degredation in the usual manners that people use on the phone (e.g, answering the phone without a greeting, hanging up without saying goodbye, talking to others while talking to you on the phone, etc.)?

Circle: YES or NO

4. Do you think people use silent and mute features of their phones adequately?

Circle: YES or NO

5.  Sound off! Your additional comments about e-etiquette:

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