Intergenerational Ministry
Dr. Barbara J Williams - Moderator
Over the years, large churches have also broken Sunday School classes down into specific demographic groups — singles (older and younger), young families, older couples, high schoolers, divorced and seniors. They've assumed (sometimes rightly) that people are more comfortable with those they most closely identify with (what marketing people call “cohorts”).
Yet in segregating generations, churches also miss an important opportunity: that of bringing various ages together in a spirit of “family,” emphasizing commonalities over differences, and encouraging intergenerational communication.
James V. Gambone, a generational specialist who trains churches in how to implement “Intentional Intergenerational Ministry,” says churches are the final frontier when it comes to mixed generations meeting on a regular basis.
“Religious institutions are in fact the only voluntary intergenerational places in our society which are open seven days a week. Unfortunately, many religious institutions are not taking full advantage of their generational and intergenerational resources and potential,” Gambone says.
During the 1970s and into the early 80s, there was an increase in the number of intergenerational Christian education programs in all denominations. Ultimately, these failed because they were seen as something outside of the core mission of the congregation.
Intergenerational worship should mean more than changing a few Sunday school classes and starting a praise team. It needs to be reflected in a way that permeates all aspects of congregational life.
One church attempting to embrace the intergenerational concept is First Evangelical Free Church of Fullerton, Calif., which regularly sponsors “Intergen-friendly” activities for their 6000-member church. These activities include:
- Pen pal programs between seniors and grammar school children
- Grandparents Day at the local zoo
- Family camps for all ages
- Back to School Parties with young and old answering questions about their own school days
- Movie Nights that feature oldies like Laurel and Hardy, Abbot and Costello
- Short Term Mission Trips mixing seniors, singles and families
The church’s seniors’ pastor, John Coulombe, says these activities have helped to strengthen family identity that will benefit future generations.
“We are a mobile society," Coulombe says. "Many have moved away from their own relatives and need a surrogate family.This type of intergenerational ministry helps us to work on the barriers that have come between the generations and celebrate each other’s differences. This is a true sign of the gospel.”
Today’s church has a real opportunity to learn firsthand from living representatives of various generations. Each has something to offer, and if we are willing to listen we can grow in the wisdom of the ages. But as Pastor Coulome says, “The only way to do this is to be in each others lives.”
What Your Church Can Do Today
- Put together an intergenerational committee to help with church events and evangelism programs.
- Ask, “What are we already doing with one generational group that could become intergenerational?”
- Have all groups represented as greeters for Sunday morning worship.
- Seat church members for a Bible study or social functions in non-age specific ways. For example: favorite colors, birthday month or alphabetically by middle name.
- Construct a “Christ Candle,” including seven candles symbolizing each generation: ancestors, the five living generations and the yet unborn.
- Perform a church drama that features roles for each generation.
Speaking Each Other's Language
Sometimes, we'll unintentionally offend or misunderstand members of other generations. Here are a few survival tips to keep us “generation friendly”:
Children
Since this group has recently left babyhood, they can be sensitive about teasing that accuses them of baby-like behavior like crying, wetting pants or messy eating habits. Stay in a group setting when associating with children in order to help them feel safe. This age group is very sensitive to "stranger danger."
Teens
Talking about boyfriend/girlfriend relationships can be embarrassing for this group. They also tire of hearing stories that start, “Well, when I was your age . . . ,” which can sound derogatory. Instead, begin, “Do you want to hear a neat story?”
Another frustration is when adults try to dress and talk like them. Teens have a greater respect for people who act their own age.
Young Adults
Green hair, body piercings and tattoos do not mean this generation doesn’t desire a meaningful relationship with God. Remember that man looks at the outside but God looks at the heart.
Many in this group are quite serious about getting down in the trenches to share the gospel. Watch language that communicates judgment. Keep in mind that you are trying to build relationships, not play the role of critical parent.
Baby Boomers
This group views itself as culturally aware, educated in human psychology and knowledgeable about codependent roles in families. Many in this demographic may have served in the military during the Vietnam War, or knows someone who did. Others may hold strong opinions about that war and its consequences. Also, boomers don’t like being identified as “seniors.”
Older Adults
This group is perhaps more circumspect in discussing personal family details. They may tend to balk if asked indelicate questions about what they consider “private.” They may prefer more traditional worship services, hymns or soft praise music. If your church is moving toward an “edgier” brand of worship, alternate new music with traditional, more familiar musical choices.
Seniors
These folks grew up on hymns, and still like them. Honor their preferences. Nobody likes to be laughed at, so forego the old people jokes. Don’t patronize or condescend.
Some members in this age group may have grown up with limited educational opportunities, but can offer something that younger generations can't: wisdom and experience. Pay attention to them! You might learn something!
No matter which of these groups you fall into, remember that we all desire to be treated with dignity and respect. Respect is a universal language instinctively recognized by all. It is also the key that unlocks the door to mutual understanding.
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