1
“KAYFABE”
Episode 1 – “The Beginning of the End”
SUPER:
“MANCHESTER 1999”
EXT. MANCHESTER CITY CENTRE – DAY
An OLD WOMAN is sitting on a bench, reading. DAMIEN ASHTON - 26, tall, stocky, long greasy hair, goatee, glasses – approaches, smiling. His right wrist is bandaged. He sits down. He soon becomes serious and intenseashe starts to MUMBLE. The old womanlooks over, confused. Damien’s headstarts shaking, mumbles louder…
DAMIEN
(audible amongst the mumbling)
…devour your soul… crush your spirit…
EXT. MANCHESTER CITY CENTRE – LATER
Damien bounces along the busy streets like a man on a mission, his MUMBLING loud and becoming clearer…
DAMIEN
(audible amongst the mumbling)
… Sunday night… your soul… I’ll break your spirit, feel it evaporate…
NEARBY PEOPLE, whom he passes, look at him, baffled.
INT. LOCKER ROOM – DAY
From behind, Damiengets undressed. Alone, he talks very clear and intensely.
DAMIEN
My presence will be felt. Souls will be violated, spirits will be crushed…
He turns around to reveal his face painted pale white with black make-up around his eyes and pouring down his face like tears.
DAMIEN (CONT’D)
And I will stand over the ashes and watch them evaporate. Because this Sunday night…
INT. SPORTS HALL – DAY
Looking straight ahead, Damienstands, talking intensely and theatrically. He is topless, wearing only black lycra tights and boots. Still in make-up. An M.P.W.O. banner hangs on the wall behind him.
DAMIEN (CONT’D)
…8pm, live on the British Sports Network, people of Britain, prepare to have your souls crushed. Expect them to feel violated.
Damien is being filmed on a television camera by PAUL
(CONT’D)
CORBLEY - 27, short hair, overweight, tanned, trendy. Confused and fearful, he looks across to MR. CHAPMAN - 53, grey balding hair, short, stocky, wearing an expensive suit –who is closely listening to Damien. Also confused, Mr. Chapman looks at Paul. They both smile.
DAMIEN (CONT’D)
And to all the superstars of the Manchester Pro-Wrestling Organisation, my presence will be felt this Sunday night. Spirits will be devoured and I will stand on their ashes and watch them evaporate into the cold, grey scarred skies of Manchester. I am back, a new man, a new powerful force, here to send chills through the world of professional wrestling and I start this Sunday. I… am… Doom Killer!
Wide eyed, Damien stares intensely into the camera before EXHALING deeply from his nostrils, laughing creepily.
MR. CHAPAMAN
(thick Yorkshire accent)
And cut!
Damien relaxes slightly, but there remains an air of intensity about him.
DAMIEN
So, what do you think?
MR. CHAPMAN
Well, urm… Paul, what do you reckon?
PAUL
A little O.T.T. for me, Damien.
Damien smiles and chuckles through his teeth, obviously disappointed. Mr. Chapman CRACKS open a can on Pepsi Max.
MR. CHAPMAN
It is vury… satanic. Vury, vury satanic. It’s not what we’re about.
We’re a traditional, British pro wrestling company.
PAUL
And the name Doom Killer…
DAMIEN
(wide eyed, intense)
Its good, innit?
PAUL
Not really. Like, the character is supposed to be gloomy, evil and spiritual, right?
DAMIEN
Yeah.
PAUL
Well, Doom Killer – that means everything’s gonna be happy and cheerful because you’re killing the doom, doesn’t it?
Again, Damien, looking to the ground, forces a smile. Mr. Chapman and Paul share a subtle smirk. Mr. Chapman rips a bar of Turkish Delight open with his teeth and takes a bite.
MR. CHAPMAN
(standing up, mouth full of chocolate)
Let’s stick with the character you’ve got for now, sweet. Oh, that reminds me! You’d better get y’ costume on!
DAMIEN
What, now?
PAUL
(showing off, smug smile)
Me and Mr. Chapman have got a meeting with the new General Manager ofFowl Play Magazine. He’ll probably want a look at your costume seeing as it represents them.
DAMIEN
(small pause, hesitantly)
But Mr. Chapman, the character just… doesn’t work for me.
PAUL
Make it work for you! That’s what great wrestlers like me do!
Damien, smiling dejectedly, nods his head.
INT. GYM – DAY
Busy with CUSTOMERS using the various equipment and facilities.
Damien, Paul and Mr. Chapman – still sipping his Pepsi - are walking along. Mr. Chapman has a slight, but constant limp.Damien is hiding under his coat. Mr. Chapman and Paul eye up some ATTRACTIVE FEMALE CUSTOMERS doing aerobic exercises as they guide Damien along.
DAMIEN
(muffled)
This is embarrassing! Are there loads of people looking?
MR. CHAPMAN
(chuckles)
Who currs if they are! Stop barking, lad. I don’t get why you have to hide. You’re on TV like this every week.
PAUL
(noticing Damien’s wrist)
Hey, how’s thewrist now, Damien?
DAMIEN
Almost healed up. Should be back in action soon. It’s still sore when I…
PAUL
… wank?
The three men chuckle.
DAMIEN
I was gonna say shave, but yeah.
PAUL
Well, that explains his facial hair, hey, Mr. Chapman?
MR. CHAPMAN
No, he’s grown that so he looks more like his mother.
Paul and Damien laugh. They reach Mr. Chapman’s office.
PAUL
Right, wait here,Damien. When you hear a knock on the door, burst in, in character.Trust me, he’ll love it.
Damien goes to sit on the chair by the side of the office door but,still visually impaired by his coat, walks into the plant next to it. Manages to sit down. Mr. Chapman and Paul enter…
INT. MR. CHAPMAN’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
STEVEN TAYLOR – mid-forties, ginger, glasses, dressed in tweed with shirt and tie – is sat at the desk, impatiently. Stands up when he sees people enter.
MR. CHAPMAN
(cheerfully)
Why, hello there, dear boy! I’m Ron Chapman! You’re the new blood, eh?
Steven nods as the two men shake hands.
STEVEN
Steven Taylor. Nice to meet you.
MR. CHAPMAN
(jokingly)
About time Bill retired, the silly old sod.
Steven isn’t amused. Realising, Mr. Chapman gigglesin a loud, forced, high-pitched tone. Steven politely smiles.
MR. CHAPMAN (CONT’D)
This is my number one heel wrestler, Paul, and I tell you what – we’ve not
MR. CHAPMAN (CONT’D)
got much to fear knowing there’ll be lads like him on this planet when we’re gone, hey?
Paulsmiles. Steven chuckles at Paul condescendingly. Paul notices and isn’t impressed.They all sit down.
STEVEN
What’s a “heel wrestler” anyway?
PAUL
A “heel” is a villain or a bad guy. Agood guy is called a “babyface”.
Steven acknowledges dismissively with a nod of the head.
STEVEN
Well, I may as well not beat about the bush. Basically, I want to modernise Fowl Play Magazine and appeal to the more… sophisticated of readers, who I don’t think will be watching your shows.
PAUL
(irritated)
This sounds like beating about the bush to me. What are you trying to say?
MR. CHAPMAN
(warning)
Paul.
STEVEN
(annoyed by Paul)
What I’m trying to say is Fowl Play will no longer be sponsoring your wrestling… sports, whatever events.
Mr. Chapman and especially Paul are disappointed.
PAUL
That’s fuckin’ bang out of order!
MR. CHAPMAN
Calm down, Paul.
PAUL
Sophisticated readers? It’s a fuckin’ hen magazine!
STEVEN
(standing up, offended)
The poultry and waterfowl industry is considerably more advanced and refined than a bunch of big, hairy halfwits in underpants bashing each others brains out in a ring!
PAUL
(standing up, irate)
You ignorant…! You have no idea about the dedication that goes into what we do, what we put our bodies through week after week! You’ve probably never even watched a wrestling show!
STEVEN
No, I haven’t. I went to University.
Paul angrily paces up and down the office. In a tantrum, he lightly PUNCHES the door. Damien bursts in and throws his coat off to reveal him wearing a ridiculous looking cockerel wrestling outfit.
DAMIEN
(loud and cheerful)
Cock-a-doodle-doo! It’s me Fowl Play! The cock of the North!Here togive all my opponents a right roasting!
Angry, Steven marches over and pulls the cockerel head off Damien. Confused and shocked, Damien grabs the head and tries to snatch it back. A tug of war pursues.
DAMIEN (CONT’D)
What are you doing? Hey, let go!
Mr. Chapman rushes over.
STEVEN
No, this is property of Fancy Fowl Magazine. I’m taking everything that’s ours back to our offices! Let go, y’ fuckin’ dick!
PAUL
(calm but still angry, pointing to Damien)
No, he’s a cock actually.
Mr. Chapman can’t help but chuckle.
MR. CHAPMAN
It’s alright, Damien. Give it him. The rest of your outfit too.
Still confused, Damien lets go of the head and takes off the rest of his costume and gives it to Steven. Furious, Steven exits the office and storms through the gym. He then turns back to them.
STEVEN
Tossers!
Steven continues walking. They watch, shocked yet amused.
MR. CHAPMAN
“Never get on the wrong side of a redhead”. Well, looks like y’ gonna have to come up with a new character after all, Damien.
Delighted, Damien’s eyes widen as he smiles intensely.
MR. CHAPMAN (CONT’D)
(quickly setting him straight)
Family friendly though!
EXT. CHAPMAN’S SPORT AND LEISURE CENTRE – DAY
Paul, distraught, and Damien watch Steven drive away. Mr. Chapman is in the background, on his mobile phone.
PAUL
With no sponsorship deal, we can’t afford to do our local tours. We could lose our TV show with the British Sports Network too!
DAMIEN
It’s bad this.
PAUL
It’s fucked! If we go under, that’s my exposure gone and my chance of a big money contract in America or Japan gone.
Mr. Chapman walks over to them.
MR. CHAPMAN
Right, let’s keep this Fowl Play thing quiet from the boys for now.
(handing Damien his car keys)
Damien, wait in the car, sweet. I just want a quick word with Paul.
Damien sets off. Mr. Chapman turns to Paul.
MR. CHAPMAN (CONT’D)
The World Wrestling Federation just called. They liked the tapes I sent ‘em of you. They’re touringtheUKthis weekso they’re gonna send a scoutuphere tonight.They sounded interested. Proper interested.
PAUL
(delighted)
You’re joking! Fuckin’ brilliant!
(cocky)
It’s about time! Can’t say I’m surprised.
Mr. Chapman chuckles and puts his arm around Paul as they make their way to their cars.
MANCHESTER PRO-WRESTLING ORGANISATION “CHAOS!” COMMERCIAL
GREY AND WHITE: Paul in a smoke filled wrestling ring, in a flamboyant robe. A loud, pumping HEARTBEAT plays.
GREY AND WHITE: STUART CLEGG, 22, muscular, handsome, blonde haired, Union Jack tights, reminiscent of a charismatic superhero, in the same smoke filled ring.
GREY AND WHITE,SLOW MOTION: Paul and Stuart walk towards each other. The heartbeat becomes louder and faster, then
(CONT’D)
suddenly stops when the two wrestlers meet nose to nose in the centre of the ring.
MALE VOICE-OVER
(baritone voice)
Two men.
GREY AND WHITE FADES INTO COLOUR
FAST-PACED MONTAGE: Paul and Stuart performing exciting wrestling moves on various opponents. A non offensive, energetic yet datedROCK SOUNDTRACK plays throughout.
Stuart stood on the top rope of the ring, lifting the M.P.W.O. Heavyweight Championship belt above his head.
MALE VOICE-OVER (CONT’D)
Champion…
Paul arrogantly pouting his lips and thrusting his hips in the ring.
MALE VOICE-OVER (CONT’D)
… Versus Challenger.
The soft rock soundtrack ends.
GREY AND WHITE: The two wrestlers nose to nose. The HEARTBEATplays. In SLOW MOTION, the two men step back and are about to grapple when the shot FREEZE FRAMES. The graphics “MR. UK VS. TOO SEXY” appear below them, followed by M.P.W.O. CHAOS! SUNDAY 8PM ON B.S.N.
MALE VOICE-OVER (CONT’D)
The final great battle of the Millennium! Live, tomorrow at 8pmonB.S.N. - The British Sports Network!
The screen turns to static, then to black as though someone has turned a TV off.
EXT. MR CHAPMAN’S HOUSE – EARLY EVENING
Mr. Chapman pulls up outside his large, country house in his expensive, big jeep. His NEIGHBOUR, 40s, is loading
his golf clubs into his boot. Mr. Chapman approaches.
MR. CHAPMAN
Going hitting a few, Bryan?
The neighbour turns around to see a chipper Mr. Chapman.
NEIGHBOUR
Aye, might be my last chance with winter just ‘round the corner.
MR. CHAPMAN
Oh, don’t remind me ‘cause my knees will when it starts getting bitter. Right painful they get. Hey, I pulled upat the golf club in me Rolls Royce
yesterday and spilled all my tees on the ground. This young lad helped me
MR. CHAPMAN (CONT’D)
pick ‘em up and he goes, “What are these?”, I goes, “They’re for putting me balls on” and he goes, “Bloody hell! Rolls Royce think of everything, don’t they?”
They laugh. Mr. Chapman sets off towards his house.
NEIGHBOUR
Hey, how’s the wrestling going?
MR. CHAPMAN
It’ll pick up!I’ve got me leisure centre, so it’s not the end of the world, is it?
NEIGHBOUR
It isn’t, no.
MR. CHAPMAN
(loud)
By, it’s a good life!
The neighbour smiles at Mr. Chapman’s enthusiasm as he gets in his car. Mr Chapman enters his…
EXT. MR. CHAPMAN’S FRONTGARDEN - CONTINUOUS
About halfway up, he stops and turns to a wooden hen hut.
A group of HENS, one by one, exit and make their way to their water bowl. Mr. Chapman looks on. A large COCKEREL
emerges. Mr. Chapman smiles fondly. He enters his…
INT. MR. CHAPMAN’S HOUSE - HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
He locks the front door and turns around, a different person – grumpy and tired. He passes a windowsill with a set of hen ornaments on it. He wipes his finger across it – a bit of dust. He rocks his head back and forth, angry.
MR. CHAPMAN
Beam me up, Scotty.
As he approaches his kitchen, he GROANS indiscomfort, clearlyfor someone else’s benefit.
INT. KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS
MRS. CHAPMAN - 47, short hair, quite chubby - is sat at the table with LOUISE CHAPMAN - 16, slim, attractive, blonde hair - and DAVID CHAPMAN - 19, short hair with blonde highlights, fashionable, muscular. They are having a meal, laughing. Mr. Chapman, grumpy, enters and the mood turns silent, filled with tension.
MRS. CHAPMAN
Hiya.
LOUISE
Hiya, dad.
Mr. Chapman ignores them as he joins them at the table.
LOUISE (CONT’D)
Are we going shopping tomorrow?
MR. CHAPMAN
Yeah, if you’re up.
Not looking impressed with the food, he fills his plate.
MR. CHAPMAN (CONT’D)
(quietly but obviously for attention)
Oh, me aching body.
Mrs. Chapman rolls her eyes in annoyance. Pause.
MRS. CHAPMAN
(pleasantly)
Did the ropes arrive for the ring?
MR. CHAPMAN
(begrudgingly)
Yeah.
MRS. CHAPMAN
You should get ‘em on in time for the show tonight, then, shouldn’t you?
Mr. Chapman lets out a SIGH of impatience.
MR. CHAPMAN
Yeah.
MRS. CHAPMAN
Did you…
MR. CHAPMAN
(interrupting)
I’m not answering a load of questions!
Mr. Chapman takes a bite and GROANS. He gets up, carries his full plate over to the bin and scrapes the food in. Louise, in shock,looks at Mrs. Chapman, who shakes her head. David, although aware, doesn’t react. Mr. Chapman grabs a slice of sponge cake and leaves.
LOUISE
Why does he do that?
MRS. CHAPMAN
Obviously not satisfied.
LOUISE
(looking at her plate)
There’s nowt wrong with it. It’s fit.
The phone starts RINGING.
MRS. CHAPMAN
He’s doing it to be obnoxious because he’s not hap…
(quickly changes sentence)
… To make a statement.
The ANSWERING MACHINE (voiced very cheerfully by Mr.
(CONT’D)
Chapman – “Hello! Mr. Chapman here…” etc.) plays.
DAVID
No, he’s probably just tired.
They are interrupted by the FRONT DOOR SLAMMING.
LOUISE
Yeah, and see you later too, dad!
The answering machine BEEPS. INTENSE DEEP BREATHING…
MALE VOICE ON ANSWER MACHINE
(eventually)
You might as well talk to me. Does your wife know you’ve been shagging mine? You already know what I’ve done to her. Stay well away or I’ll fuckin’ do it to you as well!
The message ends. Everyone is in shock.
INT.HOSPITAL WARD – EARLY EVENING
Mr. Chapman - carrying a bunch of red roses and chewing Wine Gums -walks along, smiling to PATIENTS and VISITORS. He stops suddenly when he sees NICOLE - 30, attractive but with severe facial injuries – in the end bed. Tearful, she sees himand smiles. Mr. Chapman swallows his sweets down andapprehensively approaches.
NICOLE
So, he hasn’t gotten to you, then?
Mr. Chapman tries to talk but can’t due to the shock.
NICOLE (CONT’D)
Anyway, I’ll live. Give me a kiss.
Mr. Chapman hesitantly leans over and she kisses him.
NICOLE (CONT’D)
We just need to work out how to get my things so I’ll be ready to move into our new home. It is ready?
Mr. Chapman manages to nod.
NICOLE (CONT’D)
Oh, thank God. I’ll finally be free and with a man who isn’t a low life coward.
(getting upset)
You’ll never leave me, Ron, will you?
We’re gonna make a proper go of this,
aren’t we?
MR. CHAPMAN
Urm… y-yeah, of course, Nicole.
She smiles in relief. Pause.
MR. CHAPMAN (CONT’D)
I’m just gonna go to the toilet.
Nicole nods as Mr. Chapman turns and makes his way to the…
GENTS TOILETS
About to open the door, he turns back to seeNicole looking out of a window. Carefully, he sneaksto the end of the ward and escapes through the doors.
EXT. SALFORDCIVIC CENTRE – EVENING
Establishing.
INT. SALFORD CIVIC CENTRE – CONTINUOUS
It has been transformed into a small wrestling arena. Three rows of chairs circle a wrestling ring, which has a faded Union Jack canvas. Against the far wall, a large M.P.W.O. MANCHESTER PRO-WRESTLING ORGANISTAION banner hangs. Temporary steel fencingcircles the ring.
INT.CIVIC CENTRE BACKSTAGE – CONTINUOUS
Mr. Chapman is frantically talking on his mobile phone, CIVIC CENTRE STAFF are preparingrefreshments, half dressed WRESTLERS walk in and out of the two dressing rooms –BABYFACE DRESSING ROOM and HEEL DRESSING ROOM.