REVIVING OPHELIA: SAVING THE SELVES OF ADOLESCENT GIRLS (VHS) 1998. 35 min.
In this exclusive, illustrated interview, Dr. Mary Pipher discusses the challenges facing today's teenagers, especially girls, as well as the role of media and popular culture in shaping their identities. She offers concrete ideas for girls and boys, families, teachers, and schools to help girls free themselves from the toxic influences of today's media-saturated culture
Mary Pipher, Ph.D., a psychologist with a private practice in Lincoln, Nebraska, attempts to explain the problems and pressures on teenage girls in her ground breaking book, 'Reviving Ophelia.'
Pipher contends that we live in a look-obsessed, media-saturated, 'girl poisoning' culture. A culture that encourages girls to stifle their creative spirit and natural impulses.
Pipher believes the danger is instead of blaming the culture, girls blame themselves or their parents. To correct this problem, Pipher believes we must begin to build a culture that is less complicated, more nurturing, less violent and sexualized and more growth-producing.
Why are American girls falling prey to depression, eating disorders, addictions and suicide attempts more than ever before?
Teenage girls live in a junk culture filled with inducements to consume, to be sexual, to be lookiest and self-absorbed. They are pelted with media much worse than anything my generation experienced as girls. They are also offered drugs and alcohol at a much younger age.
Why do so many girls hate their parents?
In teenage culture, adult means you dislike your parents. Teens feel an enormous pressure to distance from the adults who love them. Those who don't are called my least favorite word of the 1990s 'suck ups.'
Could you explain to our readers what happens to girls in early adolescence. How do they crash and burn in a social and developmental Bermuda Triangle?
In early adolescence, girls move from the safety of their own families into a broader world. That's when they experience great pressure to be thin, attractive, sexual, popular and yes, even stupid. Girls who make good grades are often teased for their academic achievements.
Girls who loved sports often begin to care more about acceptance than excelling. Many girls sacrifice their wholeness on the altar of social acceptability.
Why did you name your book 'Reviving Ophelia'? Why is the story of Ophelia symbolic of what young girls are going through today?
The book's title comes from Hamlet. Ophelia was mentally intact and happy until she fell in love with Hamlet. She was torn between her desire to please him and to please her father.
She grows confused, depressed, and eventually, she kills herself. Her experience is a good metaphor for what happens to many girls in early adolescence. They become confused by others expectations and their true selves are lost.
What is lookism? How can a parent help their daughter deal with this?
Lookism is evaluating others solely on the basis of one dimension--appearance. Like other 'isms' such as racism, it's a way of simplifying that can lead to stereotyping.
One way to help is to praise girls for their talents, accomplishments and character, not their appearance. Another way to help is to be non-lookist oneself. Another way is to limit exposure to lookist media and to process carefully all media the family consumes.
What if a girl is not beautiful and she feels left out. How can a parent help her when popularity is such a big deal in junior high school?
I encourage girls to have one or two close friends and not to worry about popularity. It's also good to have friends of all ages and also to spend time with animals.
Many girls are saved by their love of their pets. I encourage girls to focus on interests and hobbies, on volunteer work and studies. It's okay not to be popular. In fact, it's actually better. By late adolescence, it is easier to be loved for who one truly is.
Margaret Mead defined an ideal culture as one in which there is a place for every human gift I love that definition. To work for an ideal culture means that we help all girls with all gifts be valued and loved. That means that girls should be encouraged to discover who they truly are and what they love, and then to develop more fully into the person they want to be.