Grapple Unit: Who S the Boss of Me?

Grapple Unit: Who’s the Boss of Me?

Grapple Question4: What if My Parent Asks Me to Do Something Wrong?

Key Faith Foundation:God’s Law Is Above Man’s Law

Key Scriptures:Daniel 3:8-30; Acts 5:25-29; Philippians 4:13

Bible basis for teachers

Daniel 3:8-30; Acts 5:25-29; Philippians 4:13

Grapple Question 4:What if My Parent Asks Me to Do Something Wrong?

Key Faith Foundation:God’s Law Is Above Man’s Law

It’s hard enough for preteens to do the right thing when their friends are pressuring them, but what if it’s a parent who asks a preteen to do the wrong thing? Use this lesson to help kids understand that even though God commands us to obey our parents, we’re also called to do the right thing no matter who’s telling us what to do. Teach kids to obey God above all else.

In Acts 5:25-29, Peter and the apostles were arrested for teaching about Jesus and brought before the high council. Although this was a fairly common occurrence for the apostles, what was unusual about this event was the fact that they had just been released from jail that morning. The high council was furious that the apostles ignored the council’s orders and continued to preach. Peter’s response was this: “We must obey God rather than any human authority.” Even though Peter knew Jesus told his followers to respect earthly authorities, Peter also knew that when those authorities chose to go against God, he would always choose to obey God. Use this passage to help kids understand that even though God calls us to obey our parents, we must obey God first.

In Daniel 3:8-30, Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon, created an idol and demanded that everyone worship it. The punishment for not worshipping the idol was death in a fiery furnace. Three Jews, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who had been placed in charge of Babylon, refused to bow down to the idol. They were willing to trust God and risk death before they would worship Nebuchadnezzar’s idol. Although this example is extreme, use this passage to help kids talk about times it’s okay to obey God over their parents.

The writer of Philippians 4:13 said, “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” It can be tough to stand up for God and disobey a parent if he or she is going against what God says. Use this verse to encourage kids to do the right thing when they know they have to obey God rather than their parents.

understanding preteens

By this age, kids realize that their parents aren’t perfect. In fact, sometimes parents willfully break God’s laws. Assure preteens that God is the ultimate authority, and obeying him is always the right thing to do.

the lesson at a glance
Lesson Sequence / What Kids Will Do / Supplies
1 / grapple games
(10-15 minutes) / Play games in the gym
2 / grapple intro
(5 minutes) / Talk about what’s going on in their lives.
3 / grapple time
(10 minutes) / Play a game that pressures them into doing wrong things. /

paper
pencils

4 / grapple team time
(15 minutes) / Turn to the Bible to learn why we should obey God over parents or others in authority. /

Bibles
pencils
copy of the Grapple Team Guide for each person

5 / grapple prayer
(5 minutes) / Choose a prayer option. /

paper
pencils

6 / grapple dare / Hear the Grapple dare.

Note: This is a tricky lesson to teach and many of our kids will not be able to relate to their parents asking them to do something that would go against what God wants. Feel free to broaden the lesson to include anyone in authority like teachers, coaches and especially older friends and siblings. (A good video scene could be from the original “Karate Kid” when, during the karate tournament at the end of the movie, the coach tells his student to “take out” the other kid. That was clearly wrong coaching! Feel free to bring in the movie clip, but SCREEN FIRST for any improper language).

Question 1 in the Grapple Team Time section includes some very real scenarios. Talk honestly with the kids about how they can handle these situations 

1 / grapple games

Play games in the gym either before or after the lesson.

2 / grapple intro

Ask the kids about their weeks. Tell them about yours.

Discover who in our group has ever gotten in trouble for something they didn’t do.

3 / grapple time

Lead the entire group in the following:

Pressure! We’ve all felt it. Someone asks us to do something we know we either can’t or aren’t supposed to do. Let’s play a game that might pressure you into doing some things you know aren’t good choices. You’ve probably played Simon Says before, but we’re going to play it with a little twist. If Simon tells you to do something that’s nice, then do it. But if Simon tells you to do something you know isn’t right, then do the opposite.

Have everyone stand and play Simon Says, using commands such as “Shake a neighbor’s hand,” “Raise your hands and shout, ‘Praise the Lord!’” or as simple as “Put your hands on your knees.” For the commands that aren’t right, use commands such as “Make a mean face at someone in the room,” or “Shout ‘I don’t like you!’ at a neighbor.”

In Pairs:What was it like to be asked to do things you knew weren’t right? How did you determine what was right or wrong? How do you determine in daily life what is right or wrong?

In Pairs:Without mentioning names, describe a time when a friend asked you to do something you knew was wrong. What if it was your mom or dad who asked you to do it? How do you think you might respond then?

In Teams:Make a list of some things friends might ask you to do that you know aren’t right. Put a mark next to anything on the list that you’d do if your parent asked. Cross off anything that you’d never do no matter who asked.

It’s hard enough to do the right thing when our friends are pressuring us to go along with them, but what if it’s our mom or dad who asks us to do the wrong thing? What are we supposed to do then? Today we’re going to grapple with “What if my parent asks me to do something wrong?”

4 / grapple team time

Break into Grapple Teams. Encourage Grapple Team leaders to check in with kids about their week. Grapple Team leaders will facilitate discussion, using the Grapple Team Guide at the end of this lesson.

5 / grapple prayer

Partner Prayers

With a partner, list three areas in your life where you need help in determining what is right. Pray for each other.

6 / grapple dare

Say: Sometimes we have to make choices, tough choices. God commands us to obey our parents and those in authority, but what if they ask us to do something wrong? Peter and the apostles said it best when they said, “We must obey God rather than any human authority.” This week I dare you to stand up for what’s right and obey God above all else. But remember to do it respectfully; you may not fully understand what your parents or other authorities are asking you to do. Ask them to help you understand because you feel that what they’re asking might be wrong. I dare you to be different and ask God to give you the courage to stand up for the right thing no matter who’s telling you what to do.

grapple team guide

4: What If My Parent Asks Me to Do Something Wrong?

In your Grapple Team, use this guide to grapple with today’s question.

Here’s the situation: You’re buying tickets for a movie. You’re a year older than the age limit for a child’s ticket, but your parents want you to say you’re younger than you are to get the discount. What do you do?

Here’s another one: The phone rings and you answer it. It’s a phone call for your mom from someone she doesn’t want to talk to at that moment. She asks you to tell the person she’s not home. What do you do?

Maybe you haven’t faced such situations, but would you know what to do if your mom or dad asked you to do something wrong? Let’s see what the Bible says.

Read Acts 5:25-29.

In Pairs:What can you learn from the disciples’ choice to obey God over the high council? Based on these verses, when are times you might decide to obey God rather than your parents? What if you don’t know if something’s right or wrong?

Read Daniel 3:8-30.

In Pairs:Compare the experience these three men had with the experience Peter and the apostles had. How are the experiences similar or different?

Based on these verses, is it ever okay to obey God over your parents? If so, give an example of when it’s okay.

Read Philippians 4:13.

Look back at the two situations you discussed at the beginning of Grapple Team Time, and think about how you can use this verse to help you do the right thing. How could you respectfully tell your parents you have to obey God rather than them?

grapple team reports

With your team, choose one of the options below to report what you discovered.

Option 1: Extra! Extra!
As a team, come up with a newspaper headline and article to share what you learned today.

Option 2: Silent Witness
Pantomime a short play to describe what you discovered today.