Audition ‘Sides’ (Parts of a draft script)
Pick a long selection and a short one to say to demonstrate your best Irish Accent.
1. Nora, when you’ve finished running your brother ragged go tell your cousin Rory to not be forgetting the Colcannon – and he’d best not be making it with the rancid butter like last year!
2. Ronan, Triona – C'mere an’ I tell you a question. The wren don’t sing to us – we do the singing!
3. Ah now, all that shteppin' puts an appetite on a man. Arragh now, that's the shtuff!
4. Now what kind a story is that?? Let’s have something a little livelier, can’t we?!
5. There warn’t enough food, child. The potatoes failed too many times and we was starvin’.
6. Now see here - when I said the man who invents the finest limerick would play St. Patty, I expected better! Lads, have you no music? Does the mist not whisper off the ocean into your very being? Do the green hills and babbling brooks strike no chords within you? Are youz Irish at all?
7. Evan Connely, you can be thick as a ditch – it isn’t a trout until it’s on the bank. The dancing was a gift. But choosin’ St. Patrick? I tink . . . I tink . . . I tink I’m too tirsty to be makin’ such a momentous decision. A taste of the wassail for the house I say! G’us a slug!
8. Oh, Christmas carols is it? Well I know a few and you know a few, and every Irishman I've met knows a hundred, so I don't think we'll be short of carols…. or music or dancing for that matter. Of course the best carols are Welsh….
9. Troubles! Weesht, man! We all have troubles, we're Irish;isn't that what the Gaelic was created for? "There is no more soothing a language than Gaelic to calm a troubled soul." That's what my Da used to say, God bless him. …So… Mister "poet in exile"…. “Beannacht om chroi go tir na Eireann" – “Take a blessing from my heart to the land of my birth and the fair green hills of Ireland”
British or Welsh Accent
10. PURSER: You will be in steerage with your countrymen. The foredeck will be available for fresh air and exercise at the appointed times. Take your baggage and mind your head as you go down Mister …..Poet.