Two of Everything
Tonight I’d like to talk about how many of something you should have. We’re all aware of the people who don’t have anything. We talk very little about those of us who have one of everything…and in many cases two of them.
For example, 33 million American families own one car. Thirty-eight million American families have two cars. And a ridiculous statistic: 20 million American families own three cars. How many of something to have is a big decision in everyone’s life and it isn’t just major items like cars.
Shoes is a good example of something people tend to buy more of than they need. Look in almost anyone’s closet. It’s full of shoes that they don’t wear. I don’t know what gets into us when it comes to shoes.
All anyone really needs is a pair of shoes to wear when he or she is dressed up and a pair of shoes to work in. You might possibly need a third pair of sneakers to play a game in but that’s it. Three. So why do we buy so many shoes?
Television sets. I know people who have television sets in the living room, the kitchen, the bedroom and the bathroom. Imagine how many they’d have if there was anything good to watch in television.
I have three raincoats. I have no idea why I bought three raincoats inasmuch as a raincoat isn’t much help if it’s raining anyway. You get almost as wet in a raincoat as you do without one.
Pens and pencils. How many pens and pencils do you need? I keep these cups here on the desk filled with pens and pencils. I can only use one at a time.
A lot of families have two bank accounts for no good reason. It makes them think they have more money, I guess.
We have friends who recently had their kitchen done over and they had two stoves put in – ranges. One’s gas and the other’s electric. What I’d like is two refrigerators. One for the new stuff and the other for leftovers.
I’m always buying tools I don’t need. And I own four tennis rackets. I always think the new one is finally going to make me a good player.
At Christmas you’d think it would be best to avoid giving someone something they already had several of but that’s not true. If people have five of something, the chances are they like it and the thing to give them for Christmas is another one of those.
From Andy Rooney, Years of Minutes, pp. 290-291.
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