Community Agreements

  • all agree to current sheet
  • additions:
  • disagreement is valued (the goal is not agreement)

Intersection of Whiteness and Gender Oppression

  • Prompt: Think about recent time when you were aware of your white privilege. How did your gender influence that experience? What was the significance of that intersection for you (gender= expression, assumed, performed, however you think about it)

Examples of answers :

  • “I feel my whiteness at a social event that I’m hosting and there is one person of color. For all the anti-racist talk of my community, here it is happening in my space. Not sure how gender relates to this”
  • “I’m thinking about race in the bike world- working in a place when many people of color come in, often as students, but the bike world is white.Womens bike group was making seed bombs, planning route: “where are the empty lots?” “oh, that neighborhood is dangerous.” Experiencing this, straddling worlds, felt bad. The ride felt problematic. Women on bikes felt empowering but in neighborhoods where we weren’t from. Felt bad/ complicated/ -a parade of clean white women throwing things”
  • “When I get mistaken as male, am treated a very different way than when I am treated as female. At the liquor store the other day, I was served first. What is the dynamic there? This other (nonwhite) guy was here first. Not always fully able to respond in time. What just happened there? On walking out wanting to be able to deal with this walking in to scenarios.”
  • “2 years ago I was arrested for sit in. To even be able to consider getting arrested = privilege.I got to feel angry during protest. Read as justified anger, never seen as silly or as just part of who I am, seen as worthy of respect, from morals. When we were being booked, the way police treated me/ us (mostly white, college) in jovial way. Being read as feminine, not a threat, ‘special thing worthy of protection.’ This treatment a bit different now w short hair- less desirable. But still this continues to play out in meetings. Can use identity as woman to take up more space.”
  • “Every year we plan a camping trip to NH/ Maine. I feel comfortable doing this and know many of my black friends would not be comfortable being in rural places, camping. Non-English-native speakers adds another layer. Every year, this comes up. Not 100% sure how gender plays in- some backburner thinking of being a woman alone in the woods. Safe/ unsafe”
  • “Train station in Boston. Last train back to PVD. Black man came up to me and started talking. I wanted to chose to engage w him. Felt important. He told me really big stories/ I didn’t trust him 100% and felt self-conscious about my doubts. I didn’t want to keep interacting but felt like I had to. He invited me to back part of train. “we’ll have fun” But I declined. @station he was greeted by police, etc v friendly and known. I had felt scared and not sure how to read my fear.”
  • “Many experiences as white woman supporting male of color in leadership positions/as director in nonprofits. Work often felt ‘genderized’ very different skills. Many experiences being sexualized- as teacher being sexually harrassed by administrator for 2 years not doing anything about it. Organizing for racial justice (lobbying etc) using my femininity- feels damaging to self + also empowering. Plus awareness that my way of being is really privileged. Premium put on ‘nice white lady’ identity. Savior complex, queerness is next level/ layer in community meetings, see ‘white women tears’ among other problematic dangers- virtuous victim- not getting called out because of presentation.”
  • “Dropping of my kids at private school. Class privilege. Show at Columbus ‘sold out’ met other white lady friend and walked into back of white people at door. talked out way in ‘basically you belong here’ Don’t even have to pay. Then Brown male former student came in- vibe was ‘you don’t belong here’ but actually he was performer in show. My desire was to save him/intervene, but he was handling it. Our past relationship was built on me playing role as legitimizer/ portal to other white spaces. Gender identity: wanting to save/androgeny as pacifying/ confusing layer”

Check outs:

  • location, food, love, leadership, visioning, opening, company, grateful, trust, wisdom in room, laughter, invested in wherever group goes

? more time to go outside and downtime, more chunk of hang time, where in our formation do decisions happen? still unknown, hard to eat and come back fast, need to digest the safety circle exercise at end more w fresh eyes, what is optimum blue/green/pink distribution from that exercise?, need a name/ not having name is wimpy -> suggestion of 10 minute brainstorm,