I had dinner out with my two children on Tuesday night. We have had many such dinners throughout the years. Some have been full of laughter and silliness and closeness, some have been subject to teenage moodiness. I was struck with the knowledge, as I looked at both of them and their budding adulthood, that times have changed. They are leaving me, and so are those wonderful sweet times when they were young and innocent. Our tight-knit family was once the core of their and my world, now it is not. I was struck with the knowledge that everything that I love and cherish will change and be taken from me. My children, my parents, my childhood, my youth, my strength, my pets, my looks, my friends, etc. (perhaps even mother earth). Suddenly I was struck with a profound sadness. How awful to love so completely, to give your heart away, and then to lose it and subject yourself to the pain of such loss and change.
I thought to myself “the writing is on the wall”, but this is no way to live - just thinking of the downward spiral of aging and loss. I tried to comfort myself with the things that are added; grandchildren, my life with Kris, pleasant retirement, etc. but I knew still that I would lose things over and over. I then thought that I need to come to terms with this loss, the constant change and TRANSITIONING. It occurred to me that one needs to relinquish and have faith. ‘It’ is not going to go the way I think it should or the way I want it to, but ‘it’ will go just the way ‘it’ is supposed to, and ‘it’ will all be alright if I just have faith that the master plan is in place (no need to worry) and relinquish to the force. Learn to expect and understand that nothing stays the same, nothing is static forever. All things change, shift and give way and I need to wholeheartedly embrace that concept, find joy and pleasure in it, and relinquish to it.
Just wanted to share,
Lea