Archduke Franz Ferdinand enters with wife what’s her name (probably Missus Duke Ferdi)
Archduke: “Hi everybody…(wave to crowd)…I am here with my ugly…oh…I mean my lovely wife to make all you fine Serbians my Servants”
Enter Serbian Nationalist with weapon
Serbian Nationalist: “I will be a servant to nobody you south end of a north bound donkey female reproductive organ Arch-Dukey with your ugly…oh I mean Lovely wife. Oh and by the way what kind of name is Franz…did your mother not like you? I will now kill you…kill you dead and your ugly…oh I mean lovely wife.”
Serbian Nationalist kills Archduke and his ugly…oh I mean lovely wife
Archduke and ugly…oh I mean lovely wife lay down and die
Enter Austria Hungary
Austria-Hungary Looks at dead people and says: “Heyyyyyyy!!! Who killed the Duke and his ugly…oh I mean lovely wife?”
Serbian Nationalist: “It was I you scurvy swine poor excuse for a country”
Austria-Hungary: “Well that makes me very angry and I shall make war with you…for you are very small like (name a small cadet here) and I will spank you until you cry”
Serbian Nationalist: “Bring it on tough guy I am afraid of nobody except (name that small cadet here)”
Enter Russia: Russian say to Austria-Hungary: “Hey Austria-rearwipe-Hungary…Serbia is my friend…I have an alliance with them (wink wink)…and if you touch them I will bring my big burly hairy women across the border to play footsie with your men as we kick your bleeps”
Austria-Hungary to Russia: “Game on flabby lips…you can join your mini-serbs as my servants” Oh..I will also bring my little friend Hun and his cast of girly men wearing tights from Germany for they have allianced (wink wink) with me”
Enter Germany: Stand beside Austria-Hungary: give a high-five:
Germany says: “OH YEAH!!! GIVE ME SOME OF THAT SWEET SERB”
Enter Belgium: “Hey everybody whazzupppp?”
Germany says to Belgium: “Shut your pie-hole Belgi…Nobody likes you”
Belgium says to Germany: “That’s mean…just wait until my Frenchy Friends hear what you said…they will say they are going to make war with you but they won’t cause they really aren’t fighters…they are lovers…you know with the French kiss thing going on.”
Enter France: Stand beside Belgium: give a high-five:“OH YEAH!!! GIVE ME SOME OF THAT GERMAN CAKE…THAT WILL GO GOOD WITH MY WINE AND I’LL INVITE MY FUNNY TALKING FRIEND FROM THE NORTH BLIMEY AND HIS CAST OF BLOKES…THEY NEVER MISS A GOOD BUTT WOOPING.”
Enter England: Stand beside France: “OH YEAH!!! I’ll TAKE AN ORDER OF GERMAN CHOCOLATE AND THROW A FEW OF THOSE AUSSIE-HUNGARY MILK-MAIDS ON THE SIDE”
All face-off and make mean gestures then leave the scene.