Dining Etiquette
Whether you are at a dinner party, conducting an interview or exploring a new culture, being familiar with the rules of dining etiquette can help to increase your professionalism and seem knowledgeable even in unfamiliar situations. Most interviewees think that the meal is a time to relax and chat it up with your interviewer, however, this could not be further from point. When an organization hosts a meal during an interview, they are assessing how you conduct yourself, your knowledge of etiquette and standard dining practices, and they are also looking to see how you will conduct yourself when meeting with clients and higher-ups in the company. By reviewing the dining etiquette basics below, you’ll be able to breeze through an interview meal and increase your desirability to the company.
- Table Setting
- Napkin Use
- Use of Utensils
- Ordering
- While Dining
- Mishaps During Dining
- When You Are Finished
Table Setting
Understanding a table setting (how the eating utensils and dishware are arranged) is the first step to becoming a pro at dining etiquette, and it’s an easy step too! First, an overview of a formal place setting:
- Napkin
- Water glass
- Wineglass
- Bread plate
- Bread knife
- Soup bowl
- Soup spoon
- Dinner plate
- Salad plate
- Salad fork
- Dinner fork
- Dinner knife
- Dessert spoon
- Coffee cup
- Saucer
As you can see, there are many utensils and dishes to use throughout your dining experience. To help you navigate your place setting, simply remember these two rules of thumb:
- Utensils are arranged in the order a person will use them, thus you will work your way from the outside in when dining. The salad knife and fork (or the soup spoon if soup is served) will often be used first, then you will move towards the plate and continue with the main course by using your dinner knife and fork. If dessert is ordered, you will then use your dessert fork and spoon located horizontally above the main plate.
- To keep track of which bread plate or water glass is yours, remember these few words: solids on the left, liquids on the right. This is usually easy to remember since most people are right-handed, however, if you are left-handed, keep in mind that the location of your water glass might be opposite of what you are accustomed to.
Napkin Use
What is the proper placement of my napkin?
The napkin should be folded discreetly and placed on your lap with the fold towards you. When you first sit down for the meal, wait for the host/hostess to place his or her napkin on their lap before you do the same. The napkin will remain in your lap for the rest of the meal.
Can I wipe my mouth with the napkin? How should I do so?
The napkin is placed on the table to help you keep food off of your face. Use the napkin as often as needed, but do so discreetly, either dabbing or blotting remaining food away. Replace the napkin in your lap with the fold towards you. Never shake out and refold your napkin. Remember, keep it discreet.
Where does the napkin go if I need to leave the table?
When you need to excuse yourself from the table, place your napkin on your chair with it loosely folded, not wadded up. When you return to the table, place the napkin back in your lap with the fold facing you.
Use of Utensils
With so many utensils to use throughout the meal, it is easy to confuse the proper placement and usage of each piece of cutlery.
Is there a certain way I should hold the knife and fork?
For the American culture, the fork is held in the left hand while the right hand holds the knife when cutting up food. To pick up and eat your food, the fork may be switched to the right hand.
Where do I put my knife and fork while I am eating?
When you are eating, place your knife horizontally across the top of your plate with the handle on the right and the blade facing towards you. When not using your fork, it may be rested on the edge of your plate as well. Never put used utensils back on the table.
Is there a particular way to eat soup?
Soup should be consumed by dipping your soup spoon away from yourself and then filling the spoon with soup. Avoid slurping your soup by sipping from the side of the spoon. If needed, you may tilt your bowl to fill your spoon in order to finish the remaining soup. When you are momentarily not consuming your soup, you may rest your spoon on the service plate under the soup bowl. If no service plate is provided, simply rest your spoon in the soup bowl.
How do I indicate I have finished with my soup or appetizer? Do I just push the plate/bowl away from me?
You should never push a plate or bowl away from you. To indicate that you are finished with your soup or appetizer, simply place your utensil on the service plate and behind the food dish, with the handle on the right hand side. Never place a used utensil back on the table.
Ordering
When ordering food, the key is to follow the lead of the host/hostess. If he or she suggests something for you to try, then follow their lead and order that dish or something similar. If you are uncertain about a specific dish, then ask your server any questions you have. Keep in mind you are a guest and should not order one of the more expensive items, unless directed to do so by the hostess.
What is appropriate to order to drink?
When dining out, it is best to keep things simple to avoid mishaps. Examples of good drinks to order are water, tea, and juices. If you like your tea sweet, make sure there are sugar packets offered at the table and use only a minimal amount; some may view excessive sugar use as offensive. When ordering alcohol, remember to keep things simple. One glass of wine, consumed slowly, should be fine, however, the meal is still part of the interview. If you remember this key point and stay alert and focused, you will be able to ace the meal part of the interview.
What should I order to eat? Are there any foods to stay away from?
When ordering while dining out, remember to keep it simple. Foods that are easily eaten with a fork and knife are great meal options, so stick with the basics like meats, salads, and soups. Anything that is usually eaten with your fingers should be eaten with a fork and knife during a business meal. For example, you should try to cut up the french fries first instead of eating the food with your fingers. Foods that require a little more precision when eating, like corn on the cob or spaghetti, should be avoided. If you aren’t sure which price range to adhere to when dining out, follow the lead of the host. Remember you are a guest, so don’t order one of the most expensive items.
How do I deal with a food allergy/dietary restriction?
If you know in advance the restaurant where you will be dining, look up the menu and make a list of possible foods that will not hinder your allergy or dietary restrictions. You may choose to politely let the host/hostess know of any dietary restrictions, however, do so discreetly and without inconveniencing anyone. If you are served food that you cannot eat, politely discreetly leave it on your plate/bowl. Remember to be polite and discreet, as health issues are not to be discussed while dining.
While Dining
Now that you’ve gotten past the selection and ordering of food, the only milestone left to accomplish is showing off your great manners and etiquette while consuming food. Here are a few tips to help you excel at this:
When may I begin eating?
You may begin eating when the host/hostess picks up their utensils or when the host/hostess announces to everyone to begin dining. Always follow the lead of your host/hostess. You may have sips of your water before the meal is served, but refrain from reaching for the bread bowl until your host/hostess does so.
How do I pass items such as the bread basket and salad dressings around the table?
When passing shared foods, remember to serve others before serving yourself. Take the service plate and offer the food to the person on your left, then take some for yourself and pass the food to the person on your right.
What is appropriate way of eating bread from the bread basket?
To avoid contamination and rude manners, take the bread from the bread basket and place it on your bread plate. If there is a communal serving of butter offered, use your knife to take a small amount of butter and place that on your bread plate as well, not on your bread directly. The proper way to eat your bread is to break off a bite-sized piece and dab butter on it. Repeat this process for each bite that you take; do not spread butter on the whole piece of bread and take huge bites. By using smaller bites of bread, you are still able to answer questions asked of you during the meal. Try not to be excessive in butter or bread use as these items are often shared with the whole table and you don’t want to look greedy by taking more than your fair share.
When is it appropriate to use utensils vs. fingers to eat?
When eating typical finger foods (i.e. pizza, fries) on an interview, always try to use the utensils provided. Eating with your fingers looks unprofessional and can create a messy situation. At most business meals, finger foods will not be served, however, if you have any doubts, simply follow the lead of your host/hostess.
Is it disrespectful to season my food before tasting it?
It is often considered rude and disrespectful, to the cook as well as to the host/hostess, to season your food before tasting it. To avoid offending anyone, take a few bites of your food and then determine if it needs to be seasoned. Discreetly ask for the seasoning, and only lightly salt of pepper your food.
If someone asks for the salt or pepper, how do I pass it to them?
If only pepper or only salt is asked for, you should still pass both the salt and pepper together. Do not use the seasonings before passing them on to the person who asked for them as that is considered impolite.
What if I’m asked a question and my mouth is full of food?
To avoid seeming sloppy and disrespectful, consume small bites of food and never speak with your mouth full. If a question is asked of you mid-bite, take a moment to chew and swallow your food while thinking about your answer. It is best to chew your food and give an answer after a few seconds than to immediately blurt out your answer with a mouth full of food.
If I’m a slow eater, should I try to keep pace with everyone else?
If you are a slow eater, try to keep pace with others at the table. If this causes discomfort, eat at your own pace and stop eating shortly after other are finished. Remember that this is not your last meal and that you are there for an interview, so try not to make others wait on you.
Mishaps During Dining
They happen to everyone, only now you will be equipped to deal with those mishaps during your meal. Read these following examples and you’ll be prepared if a mishap does happen.
What should I do if I drop my napkin or dinner utensil on the floor?
If your napkin happens to slip off your lap or you drop your dinner utensil on the floor and it is within reach, discreetly grab it without making a big fuss. If the item is not within reach, subtly get the server’s attention and ask for another napkin or utensil.
Is it okay to pick up food that has fallen off my plate?
If a piece of food happens to slip off your plate, discreetly place back on the corner of your plate. If it is a small piece of food or salad, leave it where it is.
What do I do if I can’t eat something that I’ve already taken a bite of?
The key to spitting out or removing unwanted food is to be discreet and inconspicuous. If you don’t want to eat the tail of a shrimp for example, gently place the tail back on the fork and then leave the unwanted food on your plate. Food should be taken out of your mouth the same way it went in (with a fork, spoon, etc.) and because the fork to mouth motion is such a common one, this gesture will often go unnoticed.
How should I excuse myself from the table?
Leaving during the meal is often frowned upon, so if you do need to leave, make sure to do so properly. Simply say "Excuse me" and leave the table. An explanation is not needed and is considered a disruption to the meal. If you are not finished eating, you will want to place your utensils horizontally across your plate with the handles at the three o’clock position.
When You Are Finished
How do I let others know I am finished with my meal?
The placement of your utensils is the one and only step you need to change to let others know you are finished eating. Do not push your plate away from you, simply place your fork and knife diagonally across your plate at the ten and four o’clock positions with the handles at the four o’clock position. Face the blade side of the knife towards you as well.
Should I offer to pay my part of the check?
At most interviews, you will be a guest and should not offer to pay since the company or host/hostess will do so. Remember to thank your host/hostess at the end of the meal however.
Relax, and enjoy your interview dinner! Good luck!