POSITIVE DISCIPLINE
WHAT IS DISCIPLINE?
WHAT ABOUT SPANKING?
•It is a physical assault on a child.
•It teaches children to deal with life in a physical way.
Can lead to child abuse.
•It teaches outer control, and only stops the behavior for a short time.
• Creates feelings of hatred and revenge.
TYPES OF PARENTING:
• AUTHORITARIAN:
– External Control
– Punishment
– Order without freedom
3 R’s of punishment:
• RESENTMENT
• REVENGE
• RETREAT
• Low self esteem
• Sneaky
Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make a child do better, first we have to make them feel worse.
Children do better when they
feel better!
TYPES OF PARENTING:
• PERMISSIVE:
– Freedom without order
– No restriction, rules,
– No consequences
TYPES OF PARENTING:
• AUTHORITATIVE (Democratic):
– Mutual Respect
– Cooperation
– Freedom with Order
WHY DO CHILDREN MISBEHAVE?
• A misbehaving child is a discouraged child. Why?
MISBEHAVIOR:
• Is based on a child’s mistaken interpretation of how to find BELONGING & SIGNIFICANCE!
4 GOALS OF MISTAKEN BEHAVIOR:
1. Attention
2. Power
3. Revenge
4. Give-up
Most common reason for misbehavior:
Attention accounts for about 80%.
Solution to All Misbehavior: Spend special time with the child
Solution to Attention Problems:
• Ignore if possible
• Give attention when good
• Redirect
• Logical consequences
• Choices
Solution to Power Problems:
• Withdraw
• Cool off,
• Problem solve together
• Win cooperation
• Act
4 Steps for Winning Cooperation:
• Get into child’s world
Check it out
• Show understanding
• Share your feelings
• Find a solution together
Solution to Revenge Problems:
• Withdraw from revenge cycle
• Win child over
• Solve the problem
• Take away items they could destroy
• Apologize if needed
Solution to Inadequacy Problems:
• Avoid pity
• Encourage & train
• Create small successes
• Don’t give up
Believe that children are basically GOOD!
Make sure the message of LOVE always gets through:
TIMING: It is impossible to solve problems at the time of CONFLICT!
LISTEN FIRST: Children will listen to you after they feel listed to.
NATURAL & LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES:
• NATURAL: Simply happen naturally
– No coat = cold
• LOGICAL: Are decided upon and imposed by parents or teachers
LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES:
• One needs to be:
– Firm
– Calm
– Positive toward child
3 R’S OF LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES:
• RELATED
• RESPECTFUL
• RESONABLE
TIME OUT: An alternative to spanking.
• Gives child time to calm down & time to think about the correct way to act.
• Child is moved away from others – an effective consequence.
TIME OUT GUIDELINES:
• Choose a location that is dull and away from others.
• Use time out immediately after misbehavior occurs.
• Length of time = 1 minute for each year of age.
• Don’t’ talk to child until afterwards (Make sure they understand the “WHY”).
• Reward good behavior after time out, as soon as they do something positive.
DISCIPLINE STEPS:
• Redirect
• Check it out
• Speak to the child about the problem
• Give choices
• Use logical or natural consequences
• Use time out if still out of control
CLASSROOM DISCIPLINE:
• Have rules and remind them often
• Be silent or whisper
• Resist giving attention to the disruptor
– “Someone is disturbing the class”
• Move closer, place hand on shoulder
• Involve them
• Talk privately
– “What can I do to get your help?”
KEEP RULES SHORT & SIMPLE
• Be nice to teacher and classmates
• Raise hand to speak
• Walk in halls
FORBIDDEN DISCIPLINE ACTIONS:
• SPANKING
• SLAPPING
• HITTING
• SHAKING
• PULLING
• PINCHING
• NO TEASING
• NO HUMILIATION
• NO INSULTS
• NO THREATENING
• NO FRIGHTENING
• NO LAUGHING AT
Confirmed incidents will be grounds for immediate
dismissal from a childcare job.
ALWAYS REMEMBER:
MISTAKES R WUNDERFULL OPPERTUNITEEZ 2 LERN!
YOU TEACH WHAT YOU ARE:
-Recognize your mistake
-Reconcile “I’m sorry”
-Resolve: Focus on solutions rather than blame.
YOU TEACH WHAT YOU ARE. WHAT ARE YOU?