No. 386 September 2, 2013

The Japanese Spirit

Fantastic essay

A Dot

The Private in the Cultural Exchange.

Part 2.

The Subtle Flash

Chapter 1.

The Distant Rumble

At the clear moment during the rainy season, just before the distant rumble of thunder it flashed as lightening : my girl friend passed away. Why did she die ? Recognizing this question is too funny. I focused the doubt in the phone. I couldn’t escape to hold a question. Not because of not expecting such happening she died too quickly in the screen I ought to have looked at with her. Of course, I think that she was never tired with her life wit my time and place. She killed herself after the death of his husband, a son and a cat. She made it a rule to go to the swimming club near her house everyday, later I heard from her good friend. She killed herself, I guess so, but she should be a pious Christian. No one knew her situation concerning the death. Her friends called her parents’ house and the near relative, but accepted no answer and no comment. No one knew the first announcer f her death. It is more strange that all believed in her death, including the question of suicide. This is the story based on the reality.

Chapter 2. A Funny Luncheon

One day, I had a luncheon with her. I must call it a funny luncheon. After meeting concerning a cultural performance we had a rule to eat luncheon together. At this time we could enjoy the genuine private except the schedule of the business, remembering the alumnus of the same junior high school. I recollected her elegant line of big butt, which I could see from back seat in the classroom, as all stood up to greet the teacher to begin lesson, the chief of the classmate shouted, “ stand up!”, and I always looked at her back to hip. It was the top secret for me, and one more secret, she looked at the beautiful garden out of the window of the classroom as the voice echoed, “Stand up! ” She had big bright eyes, was filled with rapture viewing to the garden. I was charmed with her mysterious and grace figure. I have yearned her since her figure of the classroom. After fifteen years from the graduation I searched her address on the classmate list and won her over to my business of the cultural exchange between Japan and foreign country. She was very beautiful and sociable, and cut conspicuous figure in the international, the university, library and museum. I have expected people generous support to her until that unfortunate happening. That, under the table in the restaurant. My right leg suddenly touched something, and I tried to escape it, moving my leg to more the left side, but something reached me obstinately just as the big snake. A restaurant boy was aware of the struggle between legs. A man of my staff sat down next to her by pure chance. She tried it to him. I understood all, but, ignored it at all in the restaurant. I was surprised at her attitude, just before me, just like a hussy. They were lover, in spite of that she had husband and children.

Chapter 3. The Unexpected.

At the regular meeting of the international cultural exchange , we discussed about various problems, and each reported the planning of spreading cultural spirit the tradition of each country and race and the special district. She reported the Japanese spirit, quoting the Japanese myth, referring the Japanese history, even touching current policy and economy. The attendance were very interested in her speech. The very good situation was produced for us in the meeting. Yes, I say, she finished her speech, and it was until she sat down gracefully on the seat. She put gently her hand on my hand, smiling. It should be called her attitude strange in the public meeting. All were much surprised at unexpected her attitude. It wonder if all guessed we were lover. It was very difficult for me to think that she took the impulsive affinity with me by chance. It was sure that her attitude gave an ambiguous influence to genuine enthusiasm for the culture.

Chapter 4. A Kitty.

I couldn’t believe my ears, she whispered something into my ear. What did she whisper ? But, I could understand clearly something influenced by her whisper, sweet and gentle like breezing charming like a kitty’s meow. What is the reason she should meow at such important, courteous place ? After meeting the chairman of the conference asked me, “It seemed she was in bad condition. If she will always take such attitude it is better for her to go to the hospital,” he squinted suspiciously. He clearly tried to escape her. I couldn’t introduce to her. She wasn’t abnormal, but superior to the ideology and sense to the culture as the nature of the aesthete. It is clear that she is very gentle, just as dreaming, being in the fantastic world, charmed with the splendid situation. This world is magnificent for her. The beautiful, the gentle just as the spirit, are inborn, she realized in the real live source.

Chapter 5. A Strange Consultation.

Her husband wanted to consult with me about her. I met him at the usual coffee shop. I am close to him, because he was a staff of the tourist company which I utilized to arrange and make plans for a trip for the cultural performance. He was very nervous to speak and started to say something but faltered. I focused on him and he seemed to make up his mind to tell following. “I accepted frequently the silent call in the mid night.” “Yes, and ? ” “I thought my wife’s manner suspicious,” “Suspicious, what does it mean ?” “Whenever I accepted the silent call her face went red,” “Why ? “ “Maybe, embarrassment---, her boy friend called her,” “In the midst night he did it !? You say you accepted all calls from her lover. Why didn’t she try to accept many calls ? ” “I understood well her,” “OK, and ? ”“And, in such case, with you ? ”“With you,” parroted I, “No !! what do you say ? ”I denied it firmly. I liked her very much, but not her lover. I thought he was strange.

Chapter 6. A Dream of the Friendship.

Her husband told me about an unpleasant day to her. She had a rule to hold the private club irregularly to form the friendship between unknown ladies and gentlemen. He was generally admitted to be the queen of the club, and got good friends. This day, being a pleasant chat her friends, she suddenly became in bad condition., and she was carried to the emergency hospital. Coming home, she complained to her husband about cruel treatment to her ; Not being carried to the hospital, she called a taxi and went to a hospital herself. Her friends didn’t ignored her, she refused that someone saw her off at the reception hall. Later, one of her friends told me that an unknown lady got her big game. She couldn’t show the actual result for the queen of the club. A person has the real face, private, sacred and born, hidden oneself. We could look at only one of the many figures emitted from the origin. It is like the shadow compared with the source. What is her real face ? I endeavored to forget this story.

Chapter 7. A Coordinate Axis.

What her existence for her ? Our relation began at the classroom. Her grace figure, soft line from the nape to the backside were surely charmed with me. If she and the classroom, were noting in my view, I couldn’t connect with her. But, it was not sexual interesting and nostalgic motherly love. I think that our position were fixed on the coordinate axis in the infinite cosmos, marked only a dot, very very animate dot. By the way, where is the dot, in the universe, in the Galaxy, beyond the macrocosm like the gas of dark enigma, in the brilliant gaseous nebula ? There are nothing such a strange sign. The dot is simply mark which was drown by a superfine point pen on a piece of a paper. A dot was born in the cosmos, I hear !? I should say ; God fixed us on the coordinate axis appointed by the end of His Stock. Our will influenced by blessing chose the relation of us and fixed the dot, a mark own self on the coordinate axis in each universe , called the culture. She could go to wherever she liked and loved, led by the indication of God, to the sacred world. God is touching her.

Chapter 8. The Manner of the Cultured Person.

What is the manner of the cultured person ? This is the most important for me to purify the object to live actively. My active life needs the relief and peace in my calm view. At the tranquil circumstance of the mind I could look at the beauty, and find out the way to focus on the essence of the object. I should go behind the outward form to grasp the inner meaning of the phenomenon. What does it mean for me to do it ? To purify the object in my life, and crystalize the beauty in my time and space. It is worth for me to live in the limited time and space, blessed by God. What I should crystalize would be the base of my life in the cosmos, appointed by God, namely a Dot fixed on the coordinate axis in the universe, and to ascertain the genuine purpose of my life I should purify the object in the world to crystalize my time and space to the spirit. And, I could recognize the Dot on the coordinate axis in the cosmos.

Chapter 9. The Invisible Habitat.

She understood my mind, and she acted frequently, according to my will, just like I appeared in her mind, as if reflecting my mind in her mind as if using a double mirror. But, I noticed that she lived in the subtle zone, shrouded in fog, invisible habitat. One day、appreciating a picture in a art museum she whispered me, “I am very interesting in the cultural activity, but, I must say, my life should become home for the honeybee. I dream that the honeybee would gather in my mind the flower garden. To get the honey to live in their lives. I use the culture to build the sweet home for honeybee.” “No, I could agree with you. I yearn and search the source of the culture. To crystallize the beauty to the spirit.” This point was very different between us.

Chapter 10. The Next Seat.

Flying back from Frankfurt to Osaka, after the performance we, I and my wife separated the seats from her and Mr. A, a participant of the performance. She said to me before the front, “I want to sit next to him for chattering.” It was very confused in the front, and I couldn’t offer her expectation. She realized to sit next to him in the airplane, very fortune for her. Arriving at the Osaka, she only nodded to us, and Mr. A greeted, “Thank you, Good -by.” Later, he told me by phone, “I was very surprised at her. Going back in the airplane, we chattered, and as room light was dimmed she started to make adult friendship to me, whispering in my ear, letting her lips touch in my earlobe. Before going back she joined a young men group unknown at all, and spent all night on a wild spree. Another story; One night, she sat next to a gentleman in the airplane, and just as the loom light dimmed he began to touch me while body. Just such doing; she took his hand and pressed it her body. She told him in the hotel, “I’m a sleepwalker.” I kept silent the whole time by phone, and finally told, “It was private problem. It is no concern of mine.” But, I couldn’t think so, hearing his last word, “She strictly ordered me to take the whole story to you.” Adding it, a few days later she said to me about chattering in the airplane, “ I became a butterfly, enjoying with my boyfriend who sat next to me in my flower garden,” in spite of asking nothing about her chattering from me.

Chapter 11. The Cultural Material.

Being in the culture she must have treated with me as the materials for producing cultural circumstance of her life. How did she do it to me ? I guess she utilized my genuine feeling to the beauty, of course including that I was interested in her beauty. Considering it I was frightened at the story of the performance’s tour. If such a strange story was realized she must have two faces, the one face of the cultural woman, gentle and extremely clever, and the another face, of a fallen woman, mental deranged. I feared the next time in which she would give a performance of original impression for her cultural life and how she would treat with me. I think she was born an artist. It was a reason that she said the story and acted it truly. She imagined and acted it to live honestly, purifying the confusion and the suffering in the world, this is the live culture, she said. What is the existence of mine concerning her which I posted on the earth ? I recognized newly that she could indicate me the essence of the beauty from unknown world in the invisible view. When I asked her impressions of the result of the performance she whispered in my ear, “I drew a picture,” and enigmatic smile played about her lips.

Chapter 12 Chin Resting .

At the international public conference I thought her manner suspicious. Taking a 15-minute break in the cafeteria she was looking out of many customers in the shop. I focused on the just happening I had been anxious of. She took unexpected behavior, suddenly inserted her left index finger in the lips. It was surprised with all eyes fixed upon me. She smiled tenderly and whispered, “I took the unpleasant manner in public, you thought. Why did you think so ? I played my finger and lip for three seconds. How many did people see this moment ? If a few people should look at me the world would be over !? It’s sheer nonsense. The moment I did it, it is a very pleasant manner for me, using my flesh and a gentleman, very shocked at my disgraceful behavior. Almost people could notice my behavior, and no one knew my genuine mind concerning this behavior. This is my misdeed, disgrace on the cultured man. You should say it is the shame-sensitive society ?”she smiled derisively at me, gazing into my eyes.

Chapter 13 Trick .