Sentence Improvement

Below are five sentences taken directly from student research papers. All five sentences are poorly constructed, either because of:

(a)improper sentence structure-look at our grammar packet for the 4 types of sentences and how to construct them

(b)poorly placed punctuation- “The people didn’t know, who to look for, for help.”

(c)shifting verb tenses-“FDR wanted to preserve the integrity of the executive branch as well as keeping the faith of poor American.”

(d)misplaced modifiers-Unemployed and destitute, FDR wanted to help the American people.

Section I

In this section, identify the problems in each sentence, and then rewrite a cleaner, clearer one.

  1. The book gave politicians an idea about what laws were unjust or absent, and how they might act politically to improve society and racial equality.

Problems:______

Rewrite:______

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  1. The KKK affected culture by targeting different groups of people, either intimating methods of attack, and its damaging effects are astounding.

Problems:______

Rewrite:______

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  1. The trial had not just affected how railroad cars were treated, but America’s views on blacks.

Problems:______

Rewrite:______

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  1. The KKK knew people where afraid of them and they used this to their advantage, they would use the fear to create things such as publicity and it was a way to get money.

Problems:______

Rewrite:______

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  1. Many people lost everything in the crash and those who didn’t were afraid to spend it, they could lose their jobs, and all their money, at any moment.

Problems:______

Rewrite:______

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Section 2

In this section, select five sentences from your own research paper that are poorly constructed. Write them on the line “original sentence.” Then, identify the problems in that sentence, and finally, rewrite a revised version. Try to incorporate varied sentence styles in your rewritten sentences.

  1. Original sentence: ______

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Problems: ______

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  1. Original sentence: ______

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