MANAGING YOUR CHILD WITH ADHD

ADVICE FOR PARENTS

Some points to remember. (Frequently!)

Your child is not hyperactive/inattentive out of choice. His behaviour is a consequence of his neurological make-up.

Effective interventions for children with ADHD seek to manage the child’s behaviour rather than to change him.

Children with attentional difficulties live in the here and now. They are poor at having foresight and don’t plan. They thrive on immediate feedback.

Some issues which may concern you

COMPLETING TASKS

To encourage your child to complete tasks you may find the following guidelines helpful:

(a)Try to distinguish between the tasks which are:

Urgent and important – getting dressed in time to leave for school

Important but not urgent – tidy bedroom

Not important and not urgent – tidy your hair

Be prepared to change your own behaviour and adopt a less rigid approach to ‘rules’

(b)Practice ‘KISS’ (Keep It Sweet and Simple) when setting tasks for your children.

Be concrete in your requests

Break tasks into a series of simple requests

Avoid pleading or questioning (‘are you going to pick up these clothes or not?’)

Avoid going over old ground and muddying the water. (‘Are you going to behave badly again or are you going to tidy your room and I don’t mean like yesterday when I had to ………..’)

Be sweet – (‘you make a start and I’ll help you change the duvet cover’)

For tasks which have to be completed regularly draw up the exact requirements of what you want to happen and consider putting it in the form of a chart to be displayed for example:

ROOM TIDY

At 11.00am on Saturday I will:

-Lift everything off my bedroom floor so Mum can Hoover

-Put my dirty clothes in the linen basket

-Empty my waste paper bin

-Make my bed

-Bring my used cups, glasses etc. to the kitchen sink

-Put my books on the shelf

GET READY FOR SCHOOL ON TIME

-I will pack my schoolbag at night when I complete my homework

-When the alarm rings I will get up

-I will wash/shower

-I will brush my teeth

-I will put on my school clothes

-I will place my pyjamas under the pillow

-I will make sure my lunch/dinner money is in my schoolbag

-I will look at my checklist to see if I need extra equipment today

HOMEWORK ISSUES

Homework is often a stressful experience and it is usually more stressful for parents than for children.

Help reduce stress and anxiety by dealing with the following areas:

Timing

Agree a starting time with your child and stick to it very consistently. Decide on a time when the child has had a short break and when he is not too tired and you are not too busy.

Agree a time to finish as well as start. If possible agree with his school the amount of time to be spent rather than the quantity of work to be completed.

Place

Choose a situation removed from distractions i.e. away from the television, baby’s high chair, radio, telephone. Remove unnecessary items from the table. Stick to the same place every night.

Consider allowing the child to construct a ‘screen’ to use for an activity that they see as needing a high level of concentration. This is not so much to remove distractions but rather as a cue to monitoring his own behaviour.

Structure

Impose a structure on the homework task. Consider listing the items/area to be covered and allow the child to stroke these off on completion.

Chunk tasks and vary the pace and type of activity. Start with tasks which the child finds most demanding. Intersperse low and high interest activities.

Allow breaks after each task is completed and use these for exercise (a gallop round the garden!), toilet break, drink and a chat.

Legitimise Movement

Allow the child a ‘squidgy’ ball to squeeze. If he finds it useful, allow him to move, for example pace up and down as he recites mathematical tables.

Provide Feedback

When he is behaving as you would wish, let him know. This helps the child monitor his own behaviour and be aware of what is appropriate.

-a quick word ‘you’re working really hard’

-a gentle stroke on the head

-a more concrete reward such as placing a button in a jam jar to be exchanged immediately after homework session for an agreed reward:

4 buttons = packet of sweets

6 buttons = a can of coke

1 button = a toffee

WORK WITH YOUR SCHOOL

The key words are agree and negotiate!

Agree on a home/school book so you can see what homework has to be done. This can be checked by a class partner before home time so you know it is accurate (saves money on phone calls!).

Agree the amount of time to be spent on homework using the 30% rule if possible.

Negotiate to present the work in alternative ways, especially if time has run out. For example a diagram rather than a page of writing, occasionally a story told on tape.

HELP YOUR CHILD ORGANISE AND PLAN

Research suggests that children with ADHD have a poor internal clock. Heighten their awareness of the passage of time by using an external sign such as a kitchen timer.

Use a calendar to mark in when assignments are due and to indicate in a visual concrete way that October is not that far away!

Colour code books – all maths books have yellow backs, English books have red backs and so on. This helps with packing the bag.

PROMOTE SELF ESTEEM (Above All)

Focus on his talents. Remind yourself of all the good things even by sitting down with partner, granny, brother and making a list.

-gentle with animals

-good at sharing

-answers the phone well

Compliment him. Remember not just to think but say out loud.

‘You suit that blue jumper’ – (don’t mention the stain on his tie).

Find things which are nearly right.

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j i m p for j u m p