Rivermont Presbyterian Church – College and Career Sunday School Class

Sexuality, Marriage and Singleness.February 21, 1999

Courtship

I Corinthians 13:

Dating:To have a social engagement with persons of the opposite sex. [1]

Courtship:Wooing; to try to get the love of; or seek as a spouse. [1]

Your definitions: ?

Principles for a relationship

To the glory of God (1Cor. 10:31)

We are God’s property

Gratitude

Build each other up

Select friends

No gambling Christianity

Doubt? A red light (Rom. 14:22-23)

Aim at courtship

Additional Biblical Basis

Marriage or Singleness: Gifts from God

Stay as you are ( I Cor 7:25-28)

An unmarried man is concerned with the Lords affairs (I Cor 7:32)

Other standards for Christian living and relationships

Seeking first the kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33)

Putting on a new self (Ephesians 4:22-24)

Be careful than in how you live: Redeeming the time (Ephesians 5:15)

Total commitment: no one can serve two masters (Mt 6:24)

Loving one another as Christ loved us, actions and in truth (I Jo. 3:11)

Put to death sinful nature (Col. 3:5)

Do not associate with sexually immoral people (I Cor 5:9-11)

God warns against adultery (Prov. 6:24)

Marriage should be honored by all, and kept pure (Heb. 13:4)

Flee from the evil desires of the youth (II Tim 2:22)

Control your own body (Th. 4:4-8)

Honor God with your body (1 Cor.19-20)

Do not commit adultery (Matthew 5: 27-30)

Present your bodies as living sacrifices. (Rom. 12:1)

Learned to be content in all circumstances (Php. 4:11-13)

Run the race with perseverance (Heb.12:1)

God gave us these rules for us to live by because:

God has plans to make us prosper, not to harm us. (Jer.29:11-13)

The Lord wants us to wait upon His Timing: God makes all things beautiful in His time! (Ecc 3:11)

The marshmallow syndrome: (see attached) [2]

What is your definition of love?

I Cor 13;4-5 (remind yourself that Paul was writing to the Corinthians: a dissolute and luxurious people), I Jo. 4:16-18, Jo. 13:34-35

What is the difference between God’s definition of love and the world’s?

The world’s definition of love; see reference[3];

For fulfillment and comfort of self
Love is a feeling’
Love is beyond control (I fall in love)
Lust ( I Th.4:5, I Jo. 2:16)

Gods definition:

Deny yourself pick up your cross and follow me (Mat. 16:24)
Fulfillment of self lays in obeying God the Father (I Jo. 15:13)
Love is not measured by feeling but by DOING (Gethsemane)
Attitude of obedience (Jo. 14:15)
Sincere (Ro. 12:9)
Love one another (Jo. 13:35)

True love waits

What are our priorities?

What does the Lord require of us?

How should we respect our fellow Christians?

  • Should we even look at a non-Christian friend for courting?

Seeing the shortcomings in dating should we even consider this option?

Questions for Discussions

  • How will God’s love show in my relationship to the opposite sex? In friendship, dating courtship or marriage?
  • Singleness is a gift from God: What does that mean for us?
  • How can we avoid unholy situations?
  • Singleness (I Cor 7:32) – Discuss!

Singleness is not a popular gift, but it is a gift!

“If marriage is good singleness is also good…Neither is in itself better or worse than the other” (J. Stott)

“The person who is alone can start today; but he or she who travels with another must wait until the other is ready” (Henry Thoreaul)

Be prepared to face family, church expectations, social pressures.

Modesty – Discuss!

Modesty is a quality inherent in girls, it is their infinite capacity for embarrassment, for blushing, for shyness, for refusing praise. It brings out the best in everyone. It entices men to become gentlemen, behave honorably, and develop manly virtues deserving of a woman’s body and soul, especially chastity, protectiveness and gentleness. Mischievous and modest: bored and bare[4]

Where, when, and with whom you choose to spend your time reveals your commitment to purity[5]

Guys responsible for self control and girls for modesty…

Conclusion:

In view of our discussion today:

  • Model Christ’s love
  • The unmarried years are a gift from God, not a disciplinary action
  • Intimacy should be a reward of commitment
  • I cannot own somebody outside marriage
  • Avoid situations that could compromise purity of body and mind
  • Preparing for the future[6]: What should we look for in a spouse.

Remember:

Sin is crouching at your door, but you must master it (Gen. 4:7)

Sin when fully grown delivers death! (James 1:14-15)

Are we living in sin? Let us stop it! (Matthew 6: 29-30) and commit ourselves to God and start living for His glory

It needs teamwork of heart and feet to be faithful[7]

Do you rely and trust God? (Ephesians 4:22-24)

Let us spur one another on in love (Hebrews 10:22-25)

Do you have clean hands? (Psalm 24:3-4), Jesus cleanses!

Stay single till the Lord shows you otherwise. Wait on Him, all is beautiful in His time.


1

[1] Webster’s

[1]

[2] Pg. 8o-81 of I kissed dating goodbye

[3]Phantastes, George McDonald

[4]A return to modesty: discovering the lost virtue, Wendy Shalit.

[5] From I kissed dating good bye, By Joshua Harris

[6] What matters after 50? Character and qualities and attitudes to look for in a future spouse. Chapter 14 in I kissed dating good bye.

[7] from above mentioned book