The Wall
Motivation and Human Resource Development EDFD 631
Joanne A. JeuchFall 2000
What paradigm prevented you from seeing the advantage of the wall at the beginning?
As we all started getting geared up with harnesses and helmets, I could already feel my pulse starting to race in anticipation. I suppose that it was a matter of pride that I participate. I know that I would regret it later on if I had passed by an opportunity like this one. Of course, that did not make me any more relaxed, but to obtain a feeling of relaxation is not why one would participate in this sort of activity anyway.
I watched Stephanie go down the wall from the ground. I think that somewhere in my self-conscious I need to see someone (someone who did not have military training, that is!) make it to the bottom in one piece. My congratulations to Stephanie for volunteering to be the first one down! Once I got to the platform, although I was not uncomfortable looking over the railing, I still remember thinking: “God gave us an innate fear of heights for a good reason!”
The sense of humor possessed by the two sergeants that were helping with the exercise was very helpful to me in keeping this entire exercise in perspective. Looking back, I really think that that is what this was all about: perspective – but I’ll come back to that later. I remember that I was actually okay with stepping to the edge of the platform and leaning back, or at least about as okay as one can be in that type of position. I was okay because I did not look at the ground. I focused on my sneakers. The whole time, I focused on my sneakers – that might have had something to do with why I kept planting my face into the wall, but we live and learn! I forced myself into a different perspective by trying to ignore where the ground really was (i.e., 34 feet lower than where my brain thought it was supposed to be!) and try to focus on the wall itself.
At what point did your paradigm shift?
I cannot identify at what moment my paradigm shifted, but as I look back, I understand that something did change. I am not afraid of heights – at least not any more so that the average person. Yet, while I was on the platforms, I assumed that my apprehension was being uncomfortable with my distance from the solid ground. It was not the innate fear of heights that I was battling, but an innate fear of falling. To me, at least, there is a significant difference.
I can do nothing to change the height of my location, but I can minimize my chance of falling. Having an experienced person at the end of the rope to brake my decent should I lose my grip on the wall (which I did several times, I might add), made me realize that I was not going to fall. That made it a lot easier to proceed down the wall.
I also have to say that my stubborn streak played a role in all of this as well. As I said at the start, it was a matter of pride to get through this. I was amazed at what a motivator that can be. Not only did it get me into the harness at the start of the class, but it kept me going when I hurt my ankle on the second repel. I was not about to be lowered to the ground if I could get there on my own steam. I was even able to keep walking around through the rest of the class. Once I got home, however, now that was another matter. Adrenaline is amazing stuff. I didn’t really feel my ankle until that later that night. By the next morning, I was in the doctor’s office because I wasn’t able to walk without pain shooting up my leg. To make a long story short, I strained all of the tendons connecting my ankle to my lower leg. So I limped for a week or so – I still would do it all over again. It was a tremendous experience and a truly impactful way to build self-confidence. I would not have changed a thing.
My thanks go to Major Tom Pedigo for taking the initiative and responsibility to set up this adventure. Thank you, too, to Dr. Steedly for encouraging the same type of “out-of-the-box” teaching that made this possible.
Due Date: November 9, 2000JAJ – Page 1 of 2