The Mothers Clubof Benet Academy
Wednesday,January 16, 2013
Benet Academy Library
Business Meeting
President Lisa Mojica called the meeting to order andthanked everyone for attending, including those new to Mothers Club. Lisa indicated that Fr. Kucera is visiting his brother in Iowa so she opened the meeting with a Hail Mary and prayed special intentions for the York family, the McGuire Family and the Gustafson Family who experienced tragic loss since our last meeting. Lisa also read some inspirational prayers for Teens preparing for exams (be they prepared or not). There were approximately 60 members present.
Lisa advised the members that Angela Michalak, Clinical Director of 360 Youth Services would be speaking later in the meeting on, “What you need to know about drug use: Learn the warning signs and what to do if you think your child needs help.”
Jackie Bedore - Director of Campus Ministry
Lisa introduced Jackie Bedore of Campus Ministry who came to the meeting to tell the Mothers Club that in connection with Catholic Schools Week at the end of January, Campus Ministry is sponsoring a Family Adoration and Reconciliation Night on Thursday, January 31st. From 3:00-5:00pm the Freshman/Sophomores and their families are to participate in Adoration. From 5:00-6:00pm there will be a pasta dinner for all. The fee for the dinner is $6 per person From 6:00-7:45pm the Junior/Seniors and their families are to participate in Adoration. Although these are guidelines, families can participate in Adoration as their schedules allow. The proceeds of this event will benefit St. Gertrude, a Benedictine girls’ high school in Tanzania. Jackie also stressed the importance of families worshiping together.
Lisa then asked the Executive Board for their reports.
Mothers Club Executive Board
1st Vice President- Christine Parisi
Christine indicated that on behalf of the Mothers Club, she will be taking nominations through March 20th for the positions which will be open for next year’s Mother’s Club. Christine indicated that for the Executive Board, the 1st Vice President is a two-year position with the 2nd Vice President and the Secretary as one-year positions. The Committee positions consist of a Head Chair who roles off after the completion of the year and a Vice Chair, who assists the Head Chair and then assumes the Head Chair position the next year and then roles off after the completion of that year. Christine passed out a sheet indicating the open positions as:
Executive Board:1st Vice President
2nd Vice President
Secretary
Committees:Benet Cares – Head Chair and Vice Chair
Benet Moms Prayer Group – Head Chair and Vice Chair
Christmas Breakfast – Vice Chair
Directory – Vice Chair
Grad Signs – Vice Chair
Homecoming – Vice Chair
Hospitality – Vice Chair
Mother/Son Night – Vice Chair
Mother/Daughter Event – Vice Chair
Mother/Son Communion Breakfast – Vice Chair
Spirit Store – Vice Chair(s)
On-Line Spirit Store – Vice Chair
Used Books – Vice Chair
Yard Signs – Vice Chair
Christine will be taking nominations at the Mothers Club meetings, by phone at 630-357-5472 or at . The Executive Board and the Committee nominations will be voted on at the April Mothers Club meeting.
Secretary- Lise Bozych
There was a movement to approve the November Minutes which was seconded and the November Minutes were approved.
Treasurer – Anne Dever
Anne had no official report but asked that the committee chairs give her two week to provide them with checks for events or reimbursement. The forms can be found on-line.
Mothers Club Committees
Lisa asked for committee reports. The following committees provided reports:
Benet Cares – Elizabeth Roskam and Tonia Khouri
Elizabeth asked for updates in connection with the Loughlin family who may still need meal support. She reminded the Mothers Club that the Prayer Group will me on January 30th after the All School Mass and will meet on February 6th at 7:00pm.
Christmas Breakfast - Judy Koziol and Kathleen Gullott
Judy advised that they raised $1,300 for the Christmas Drive with the breakfast. Over 275 kids participated and not a morsel of food remained. Judy thanked all of the volunteers and her Vice Chair.
Directory – Monica Earley
Paper copies of the Directory are available for sale for $6 in the Spirit Store – there is only a half box of Directories left for sale.
Grad Signs – Val Munson and Anne Matthews
No report – the signs should be available for purchase in about two months.
Heart Screening April 5, 2013– Janet Torrey and Marie O’Hara
Marie indicated that because this event requires many volunteers, if anyone is interested in helping, please sign up on the sign-up sheet. There are both morning and afternoon shifts. Also, there will be training on April 4th (an abbreviate session will be held for those who have previously volunteered for this event.) Lisa indicated that this is a great way to get into the school.
Hospitality – Sheryl Athanassiades and Meike Uhler
The Christmas teacher lunch on December 13th was a big success with the teachers. In addition to the delicious catered lunched, each teachers was able to select a gift card and a bottle of wine. Donated drinks, salads and desserts were much appreciated.
Mother/Son Casino Night - February 23, 2013 – Laura Uher and Julie Mudge
Laura indicated that she secured extra casino tables and a money machine for the event. In addition to the gambling, there will be fun prizes, games, and a DJ (get your son to give you one dance!)
Laura requested help finding dealers for the evening. She needs 12 more dealers. The dealers can be dads, grandpas, or graduates 21 years or older. The dealers would work from 6:30 pm (training) until 10:30pm. The event runs from 7:30- 10:30pm and costs $35 per family. Lisa indicated that it is fun to gather up a group of your son’s friends and go out to dinner first.
Mother/Daughter “Celebration” – January 27, 2013 – Karen Flavin and Sandy Szymborski
The theme of this celebration is, “Discover Your Gifts.” The event is open to all classes of girls and will begin with Fr. Ed Kucera saying Mass in the Chapel and will continue with lunch in St. Jude Commons catered by the Country House. A fun craft will be offered. The event begins at 11:00am and is expected to end at 3:00pm. The event costs $25 per person. The committee is still taking RSVPs.
Mother/Daughter Fashion Show - April 21st – Julie Kelliher and Jeanine Jelinek
All senior girls are welcome to be models in the fashion show. Sign up will be in the cafeteria. This event is open to Junior and Senior girls and their mothers (or a friend’s mother, aunt, etc.)
Mother/Son Communion Brunch -April 28th – Penny Kalebich and Wendy Durkin
Penny indicated that the theme of the event is, “You’ve Got a Friend in Me.” Fr. Ed will be saying the Mass. This event is open to Junior and Senior boys and their mothers (or a friend’s mother, aunt, etc.)
Spirit Store – Lori Henert, Mary Genovese and Leticia Tassone
The Spirit Store needs volunteers to help with the Welcome to Benet February 24th Sunday afternoon and Uniform fitting. The Spirit Store’s hours are Tuesday, 2:00-4:00pm, and Thursday, 11:00-1:00pm. If you park at the circle drive, you can be buzzed in to ship. You may also shop on-line and pick up your merchandise at the Dean’s Office. The committee was commended for all of their hard work and excellent results.
Used Books – Karen Funk and ChristineCackovic
This committee is gearing up for the used books collection and sale during finals week in June.
Yard Signs – Mary Tuttle and Kim Welsh
Signs for the spring activities will be available for order via the website in at the end of February for pick up after Spring Break.
New Business
1)Dr. Reidy, the coordinator of the yearbook wants the senior parents to know that ads for the seniors (1/4 or ½ page ads) may be place electronically. Check the Benet website.
2)551 students took the entrance exam (46 more than in 2012 and the 2nd highest amount in the last five years.)
3)Cookie Day – March 5th – Is anyone interested in coordinating the volunteers or participating? If so, contact Lisa.
4)Glenbard Parent Series – “Louder than a Bomb” film and talk – Thursday, January 24th 7:00pm at Glenbard East high school.
5)Next month’s meeting (February 20th) will include speakers Cheryl Frommelt and Jenna Fash from the Fox Valley Institute o Growth and Wellness discussing, “Healthy Habits to Help Manage your Student’s Stress.”
6)The March meeting will be Mom’s Night Out and will be held at Whole Foods in Naperville (2607 75th Street, just east of Rt. 59). Angela Denison, a healthy eating specialist, will demonstrate three fun appetizers with wine pairings. The cost is $20 per person (cash or check payable to Benet Academy Mothers Club) and will be limited to the first 50 people who rsvp to Christine Parisi – 27 W 641 North Lane, Naperville IL 60540. Come join in the fun!
Old Business
1)Lisa thanked those committees who have already completed events.
Angela Michalak, Clinical Director of 360 Youth Services - “What you need to know about drug use: Learn the warning signs and what to do if you think your child needs help.”
Lisa introduced Angela Michalak, the Clinical Director at 360 Youth Services in Naperville which specializes in 24 hour intervention and other youth services. Angela specializes in ADHD and anxiety, among other areas. Angela indicated that after hearing the committee reports, she could tell that the Benet mothers are connected to their students based on their involvement.
Angela began by stating that raising teenagers is scary. Most parents communicate with other parents when their children are young, but as their children age, this circle of support often gets smaller. In addition, the topics of discussion are more serious. Angela stated that in connection with drug use, there are warning signs which can be classified as Physical, Behavioral and Psychological. The Physical warning signs include, but are not limited to: bloodshot eyes, use/overuse of eye drops, changes in sleep and eating patterns, deterioration of health, fatigue and repeated health complaints such as coughing. The Behavioral warning signs include, but are not limited to: a drop in attendance in school/work, unexplained money loss from your home, missing jewelry, over sensitive behavior (locking bedroom door), sneaking around, avoiding eye contact, changing peer group toward negative peers, dropping out of activities, getting in trouble with friends/the law, and a negative attitude. The Psychological warning signs include, but are not limited to: unexplained mood swings, anxiety and paranoid behavior. Angela then described some possible risk factors for drug use: family history of drug use, ADHD, anxiety, trauma, abuse, depression.
Angela indicated that if parents provide information to their teens and give them expectations and consequences, and follow up on the consequences, statistics show that a teen is 50% less likely to use drugs.
The drugs that are available to kids nowadays are very different than the drugs that were available when we were teens. They are much more addictive and strong. For example, heroin used to be a tarlike substance that was injected into the body. Now it is more easily used and accessible. Route 290 west is now known as the, “Heroin Highway” with dealers coming west to sell drugs. However, the Power of Choice Campaign in the Naperville community collected data from 2003-2012 which indicates that heroin use remains unchanged at only 2% of teens. Parents should put out the message that EVERYONE is NOT using heroin. Teens are also getting creative in their drug use – Bath salts and plant food, known as “K2” mimic the high from marijuana. Prescription drugs and ADHD drugs are also being used not for their prescribed purposes.
In addition to all of the known dangers of drug use, recent research indicates that drug use can permanently impair the teen developing brain and its use of neuropathways. Angela passed out brochures on drug facts.
The top three drugs that are used by teens are:
- Alcohol
- Marijuana
- Tobacco (decreasing use moved it from the #2 spot)
Statistics show that 78% of teens polled indicate that they do not smoke marijuana, so most teens are making healthy decisions.
Angela explained that importance of being good role models for our teens and keeping a strong, consistent message to our teens. Do not say, “Don’t drink” and then get drunk with friends or allow underage drinking in your house – it is also illegal.
What should you do if you discover that your teen is using drugs? Angela advised to enforce your stated consequences. Also, find somewhere where your teen can get help and can answer your questions. Angela provided some good websites. She also stated that it is okay to monitor your teen’s activities if you notice sneaky behavior. Common places where drugs are hidden: lipstick case, backpack, makeup case, and books. Know who your teens are hanging out with and these teens’ parents. You could even track your teens via the GPS in their phones.
Know when it is a good time to talk about the underlying issues. Bring up stories in the news and share your views as well as learn their views on topics related to drugs. KIDS LOVE TIME WITH YOU! Put down the phone, pare back daily life and share time with your teens.
Questions
- Do you know the specifics of a new underage drinking law that went into effect January 1, 2013 (must call the police if you suspect underage drinking in your home or be liable?)
Angela would have to check on the specifics. Lisa indicated that the laws are very strict for parents now and everyone should investigate the laws and impose rules as to home drinking. Also, you should often go into the area where the teens are hanging out.
- What are your thoughts about the possible legalization of marijuana?
Angela said this is a hard question because of the medicinal effects of pot; however, it is addictive and it is a gateway drug. Kids do not think it is harmful, but it is.
- What should I say when my teen says that, “Smoking cigarettes is worse than pot?”
Angela said that this is hard because they both are addictive and neither is a healthy choice. You should discuss this with your teen. Many teens do not think of tobacco as a drug, but it is. (Chewing/inhaling tobacco is bad as well.)
A mother also advised that the Lisle Police has a “mailbox” where you can dump your expired or unused Rx drugs in a plastic bag and they will dispose of them. Make sure you carry the Rx in their original containers before disposal.
- What do you wish you could tell all parents?
Have conversations about drugs (including alcohol), consequences and expectations with your teens. Be aware of what your teen is doing and with whom he/she is hanging out. Be present for your teens.
Angela also stressed that you are encouraged to reach out to any applicable agency to ask questions. If they cannot answer your questions, they can direct you to other possible services to assist you.
- What is binge drinking?
Often done in college, it involves non-stop drinking and besides the danger that brings, it also increases the risk of being sexually assaulted or trying drugs a teen normally would not try.
- How do kids get drugs?
Angela indicated peers, the internet, events they attend – kids know who the dealers are.
Conclusion - Most importantly, talk to your teens about your expectations and the possible consequences – follow up on the consequences. Parents need to be on the same page. Spend time with your teens.
Lisa thanked Angela for coming to the meeting and gave her a thank you gift.
Closing Remarks
Lisasaid a prayer in closing and ended the meeting by thanking the attendees and inviting them to return for the February 20thmeeting.
Upcoming Meetings
February 20th7:00pm hospitality 7:30pm meeting (library)
March 20th7:00 pm Whole Foods Naperville – 2607 W. 75th St, Naperville – MUST RSVP to Christine Parisi and pay $20 for this “Mom’s Night Out!”
Adjournment and Raffle Gift
Prior to President Lisa Mojica adjourning the meeting, she thanked Colleen for creating the Good Night Raffle Gift. The gift was awarded and the meeting was adjourned.
The next meeting of the Benet Mothers Club is Wednesday, February 20th at 7:30pm in the Library (Hospitality at 7:00pm)
1