A Workbook on the Fourteen Steps

LORD,

SET

FREE!

Published by

Homosexuals Anonymous Fellowship Services

P.O. Box 7881

Reading, PA19603-7881

(610) 376-1146

H.A.F.S. APPROVED LITERATURE

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage or retrieval system, without written permission from the copyright owner, except for brief quotations embodied in reviews.

To God, whose mercy endureth forever--

the Father, who in love purposed my salvation,

the Son, who bore my sins in his own body on the tree,

the Spirit, who indwells, guides, and empowers my life;

to Colin C., co-founder of Homosexuals Anonymous

to whom God gave the 14 Steps on which our recovery is based;

to Dan R., my counselor, and Calvin K., my pastor,

whose support and guidance were richly used of God in my recovery;

to Peter F., Rudy C., Geoffrey P., John W., Bob P., and especially Ivan L.,

men whose friendship has helped and sustained me in the process of recovery;

to Duncan E., Richard P., Charles M.,

Paul K., David W., Lois S., Alex C., Jack H., Rod H., and Ivan L.,

Homosexuals Anonymous Board members past and present,

without whose help and encouragement this ministry could not prosper;

to Jim P., Ivan L., and Nancy B.,

who graciously volunteered many hours to help me complete this workbook;

to the members of the Reading chapters of Homosexuals Anonymous,

whose experience, strength, and hope has enriched me beyond measure;

to the courageous men and women who are members of Homosexuals Anonymous,

who have committed their lives to the living God

and have determined to walk the road of freedom

until they grow up into Christ in all things;

this workbook is gratefully dedicated.

--John J., Reading, PA

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction1

Step 1We admitted that we were powerless over our homosexuality and that our emotional lives were unmanageable.
Step 2We came to believe the love of God, Who forgave us and accepted us in spite of all that we are and have done.
Step 3We learned to see purpose in our suffering, that our failed lives were under God's control, Who is able to bring good out of trouble.
Step 4We came to believe that God had already broken the power of homosexuality and that He could therefore restore our true personhood.
Step 5We came to perceive that we had accepted a lie about ourselves, an illusion that had trapped us in a false identity.
Step 6We learned to claim our true reality that, as humankind, we are part of God's heterosexual creation and that God calls us to rediscover that identity in Him through Jesus Christ, as our faith perceives Him.
Step 7We resolved to entrust our lives to our loving God and to live by faith, praising Him for our new unseen identity, confident that it would become visible to us in God's good time.
Step 8As forgiven people, free from condemnation, we made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, determined to root out fear, hidden hostility and contempt for the world.
Step 9We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs and humbly asked God to remove our defects of character.
Step 10We willingly made direct amends wherever wise and possible to all people we had harmed.
Step 11We determined to live no longer in fear of the world, believing that God's victorious control turns all that is against us into our favor, bringing advantage out of sorrow and order from disaster.
Step 12We determined to mature in our relationships with men and women, learning the meaning of a partnership of equals, seeking neither dominance over people nor servile dependency on them.
Step 13We sought, through confident praying and the wisdom of Scripture, for an ongoing growth in our relationship with God and a humble acceptance of His guidance for our lives.
Step 14Having had a spiritual awakening, we tried to carry this message to people in homosexuality with a love that demands nothing and to practice these steps in all our lives' activities, as far as lies within us.
Bibliography, Scripture Index, and General Index / 9
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311

HOW TO USE THIS WORKBOOK

(PLEASE READ THIS!)

Why work a workbook?

Personal research helps us learn new ideas. Writing forces us to clarify our thoughts. Using a workbook involves research and writing to deepen our understanding.

What about a cover for my workbook?

This workbook was designed to fit a regular three-hole binder. Please purchase your own cover which will allow you to carry the workbook anywhere and have your anonymity protected. We recommend that you also purchase dividers and separate the workbook by steps to help you find your place quickly. You can also keep any additional material you have collected in your notebook behind the appropriate step. This should give you a wealth of material on recovery for your own use and to help others.

What will I need besides this workbook?

A pen or pencil and a Bible. Any standard version will do. If you have trouble understanding a verse, check it in a second translation.

How can I find a passage in the Bible?

To find Joshua 1:8, for example, look for Joshua in the "Table of Contents" in your Bible and turn to the page indicated. The number before the colon (:) indicates the chapter you want, in this case, chapter 1. The number after the colon indicates the verse sought, so look for verse 8 in chapter 1.

What if I have doubts?

This workbook uses the Bible to help us understand God and ourselves. Even if you have doubts about God, you can still find help from this study if you approach it with an open mind and a willing heart.

How do I answer the questions?

Write the verses, exactly as you find them in the Bible, in the space provided in the workbook. If a thought comes to you as you write the verse, jot it down in the margin next to the verse. It is more important that you make this workbook useful to you than that you make it neat. In the "Personal Response" section, summarize these verses and thoughts and apply them to your life. You may also wish to express your reaction (positive or negative) to them.

How much should I do at one time?

Work at your own pace. Perhaps one question in a section with its "personal response" a day might be comfortable for you. When you want to work more, do so. If you find the material difficult to understand or if it brings up painful emotions, work more slowly. At least do a little every day. As someone has said, "It is not how many times you have been through the Bible that matters, but how many times the Bible has been through you." Work at a pace that enables you to make these truths a part of your life (which is the only way they can help you) rather than rushing to get through this workbook.

Should I skip around?

Try to finish each Step in this workbook as completely as possible before going on. This includes doing the assignments under "How You Can Work This Step". Each Step is a vital link in the chain of recovery.

Can I get help with this material?

We encourage you to do so. We often come to a deeper understanding of ourselves through others and experience God's healing power through their acceptance, encouragement, and support. Ask one of the senior members of your HA chapter whom you respect and with whom you feel comfortable to be your step coach. Ask him/her to meet with you weekly to go over your work and answer any questions you have. If you are not near a chapter, perhaps you can meet regularly with one or more friends who will work this workbook with you.

Can our HA chapter do this workbook together?

By all means! (1) Have your coordinator collect money from and order workbooks for each member. Order several extra workbooks with money from your treasury and have them available for new members to purchase. (2) When the workbooks arrive, the moderator should assign the questions to be done for discussion at the next meeting. He/she must work ahead so they can assign enough questions to insure that everyone learns something and there can be a good discussion, but not so much material as to over-pressure members with more work than they can complete. (3) Encourage each new member to meet with a step coach between meetings for help with their study. (4) Ask each member to commit themselves to make a sincere effort to: (a) attend regularly ("bring the body and the mind will follow"); (b) do their homework, even is some of the material causes personal discomfort; (c) participate in the meeting and share openly and honestly to the best of their ability; (d) accept support and give it to others; (e) recognize their own limits and those of others; (f) realize that God does the healing through His Son by His Word and Spirit; (g) recognize that they must take personal responsibility for their own recovery in dependence on God's grace and strength; (h) make time each day for prayer and meditation on God's Word; (i) work the steps; (j) refrain from seeing themselves as victims but rather as persons working a program of recovery.

-1-

INTRODUCTION

I fought a lonely, losing battle with homosexuality for thirty-six years before I found that there is real hope and help.

My father wanted me, his firstborn, to be exactly like he was--strong, tough, a fighter, and a doctor. These were things God had not equipped me to be. I felt I was not what my father wanted and that he did not love me. So I put up a wall between us and missed the love I needed from my father to develop a healthy gender identity.

I first became aware of homosexual feelings when I was twelve, but I hid them from everyone but two friends with whom I was sexually involved during my teen years. At eighteen I became a Christian, and that stopped outward activity for over twenty years. It did not end the inner struggle. Neither did intense religious activity or marriage and children. Temptation persisted until a time of great stress in my late thirties when I felt I could fight no longer. Once I yielded, I could not stop no matter how hard I tried. The result was blackmail, exposure, the loss of my reputation and family, and an attempted suicide.

God is able to bring good out of trouble! As a result of my problems, I learned about Homosex- uals Anonymous and for the first time came in contact with well-founded hope and solid help. The 14 Steps of HA crystallized and concentrated biblical truth on my struggle so that homosex- ual activity ceased and the power of temptation lessened. There are no quick fixes or easy solutions. I still have times of struggle, but the Good Shepherd has found His wandering sheep, has me on His shoulder, and is carrying me home!

God's Word shows how this experience can be yours too. The Bible tells us how we can have God's enabling power in our lives so that we can follow His counsel and realize His promises. The 14 Steps are a guide to help us know God's strength in our struggles. They show us how God can change lives that were ineffectual and unhappy into lives that are joyful and fruitful.

1.Can the Bible show me how to find freedom?

Joshua 1:8

Some of us felt, "But I tried the Bible and it didn't work!" Something was missing. A know- ledge of the Bible is vital to recovery, but it is only when the truths of Scripture become part of the very core of our being that they do their transforming work. When Scripture is rooted in our very souls, immeasurable power is released!

"One day in 1945, Clarence W. Hall, a war correspondent following on the heels of our troops in Okinawa, came upon the tiny village of Shimabuku.

"It was an obscure little community of only a few hundred native Okinawans. Thirty years before, an American missionary on his way to Japan, had stopped here. He had not stayed long --just long enough to make a few converts, leave them a Bible, and pass on.

"One of the converts was Shosei Kina, the other...his brother Mojon. From the time of the missionary's visit they had seen no other missionary and had had no contact with any other Christian person. But in those thirty years Shosei Kina and his brother had made their New Testament come alive....

"Aflame with their discovery, they taught the other villagers until every man, woman and child in Shimabuku had become a Christian. Shosei Kina became head man in the village; his brother, Mojon, the chief teacher. In Mojon's school the Bible was read daily. To Shosei Kina's village government, its precepts were law. Under the impact of this book, pagan practices fell away. In their place...there had developed a Christian democracy at its purest.

"Then after thirty years came the American army, storming across the island. Little Shimabuku was directly in its path and took some severe shelling. When our advance patrols swept up to the village compound, the GIs, guns leveled, stopped dead in their tracks as two little old men stepped forth, bowed low and began to speak.

"An interpreter explained that the old men were welcoming them as fellow Christians. They remembered that their missionary had come from America. So, though these Americans seemed to approach things a little differently..., the two old men were overjoyed to see them.

"The GIs reaction was typical. Flabbergasted, they sent for the chaplain.

"The chaplain came, and with him the officers of the Intelligence Service. They toured the village and were astonished at what they saw--spotlessly clean homes and streets, poised and gentle villagers, a high level of health and happiness, intelligence and prosperity. They had seen many other villages on Okinawa--villages of unbelievable poverty and filth. Against these Shim- abuku shone like a diamond in a dung heap.

"Shosei Kina and his brother Mojon observed the American's amazement and took it for disap- pointment... They bowed humbly and said, 'We are sorry if we seem a backward people. We have, honored sirs, tried our best to follow the Bible and live like Jesus. Perhaps if you will show us how...'

"Hall relates that he strolled through Shimabuku one day with a tough old Army sergeant. As they walked the sergeant turned to him and whispered hoarsely, 'I can't figure it--this kind of people coming out of only a Bible and a couple of old guys who wanted to live like Jesus!' Then he added a penetrating observation: 'Maybe we've been using the wrong kind of weapons...'" [Richard Hall and Eugene P. Beitler, How To Read the Bible, p. 17-19]

Psalm 119:9

"This book will keep you from sin, or sin will keep you from this book." [D. L. Moody, Notes From My Bible, p. 8]

"...At the very start we must make clear there are no quick cures.... I consistently warn against solutions that are more magic than miracle, and sow confusion in the hearts of hurting Christ- ians. I spend a disproportionate amount of counseling time trying to pick up the pieces of disillusioned Christians who have unsuccessfully tried some instant cure." [David Seamands, Freedom from the Performance Trap, p. 20]

Psalm 119:11

"Meditation is the wing of the soul, which carrieth the affections thereof to things above.... Hereby we hold fast the things which we have learned, we awaken our faith, inflame our love, strengthen our hope, revive our desires, increase our joys in God, we furnish our hearts and fill our mouths with materials of prayer, we loosen our affections from the world, we pre-acquaint ourselves with those glories which we yet but hope for, and get some knowledge of that love of Christ which passeth knowledge. Meditation is the palate of the soul whereby we taste the goodness of God; the eye of the soul whereby we view the beauties of holiness; that...gymnasia whereby our spiritual senses are exercised... It is the key to the wine cellar, to the banqueting house, to the garden of spices, which letteth us in unto him whom our soul loveth; it is the arm whereby we embrace the promises at a distance, and bring Christ and our souls together." [Edward Reynolds, "The Epistle to the Reader," in Thomas Watson, Sermons, p. iv-v]

Psalm 119:105

"Psychology can help in diagnosis, but only God can cure. As a rule He does so through the Book." [Andrew W. Blackwood, Preaching From the Bible, p. 212]

"One of the chief obstacles to healing is our obsession with the immediate. The 'itch for the instantaneous' pervades much of our Christian thinking. We tend to think that unless a healing is immediate, it is not of God... We have become impatient and frustrated with things that take time." [David Seamands, Healing of Memories, p. 181]