ADG Europe presents TNT theatre Britain in:

DRACULA & THE ECO WARRIOR (Draft Four)

Paul Stebbings & Phil Smith

(from ‘Dracula’ by Bram Stoker)

Characters:

Jonathan Harker, Horseman, Technician, Fireman, Dog, Counter Man, Pallbearer

Lucy Renfield, Ticket Agent, Wino, Robot , Woman in the tower, Firewoman, Nurse in green uniform, Camerawoman, Pallbearer

Mina Murray, Airport Worker, Wino (later with doll baby), Drill Worker, Second Life Mina Murray

Dracula, Driver, Airport Cleaner, Cooking Man, Male Customer, Second Life Van Helsing

Act One Q1

(An airport in the USA. Night time.

For staging there is a skeletal climbing frame structure that can be moved around. It is stood upright, as an airport traffic control tower.

Runway lighting. Sounds of an aircraft landing, and then taxiing.

An airport worker enters. She carries illuminated batons which she waves about to indicate to an unseen aircraft where to turn and then stop. Sound of engines winding down. The airport worker makes a call on a walkie talkie, we cannot hear what she says due to the engine noise. She is walking off when Jonathan Harker enters carrying a briefcase and a fresh suit in a protective bag. He is smartly dressed in a business suit. The aircraft engines are silent now, but there is a sound of wind. Harker battles through the wind towards the airport worker who sees him.)

Air Worker: What the hell! Hey, buddy, what do you think you’re doing?

Harker: Please help me! No one will tell me where I am?

Air Worker: Well, where the hell do you think are?

Harker: I am trying to get to Pennsylvania!

Air Worker: This ain’t Pennsylvania! Nowhere near! You English?

Harker: Yes, yes. I flew from London, then I had a connecting flight from Kansas...

Air Worker: Kansas!

Harker: I’ve been trying to get round the storm – is it a storm?

Air Worker: Two things you don’t ever get around, buddy – nature and airport regulations! Now, you get yourself through Arrivals like everybody else... vamoosh! Get-yah!!! Shooo!

(The Worker waves the illuminated batons as if Harker were an aircraft she was directing. Backing off, she exits.

Q2Bright lights up. Muzac - tunewise there is a version of a distinctive tune that will appear later in Mina’s instrument playing and at the Dracular/Harker trump-style rally. Harker dazzled by the bright lights. As if in the retail area of an airport.)

Voices sung and recorded sound: Louis Vuitton handbag, Sir? Surely the wife would want one, want one?

I pad 5 6 7 8 9, you need one Sir, it is so fine? Want one, want one surely you must want one, want one?

Rayban glasses, Samsung Galaxy, you need an accessory

Cartier watch it's worn by Beyonce'

Want one, want one surely you must want one?

Harker: No no get away. I dont want anything! I just want to -

Voices: Dunkin Donut, Sir – topped with crispy cream!

Harker: That's obscene!

Voices: But you want one, want one, we know that you want one!

Harker: I'm tired, I'm hungry. Don't you have any real food?

Voice: Caramel cream chocolate latte?

Harker: No!

Voice: Hello kitty I phone cover - it's discounted.

Harker: (almost weeping) I just want to get to Pennsylvania...where is the information desk?End or fade to phone call

(An Airline Ticket Agent enters dressed in an airline uniform; Harker rushes to her. She is talking loudly into her phone)

Harker: O, thank heavens...

Agent: I have two thousand stranded passengers and you tell me that!

Harker: Excuse me.

Agent: Shh I am busy. ((Continues talking to phone) What? When. No way!

Harker: You have to help me!

Agent: Just sit down, Sir. Sit down with the other passengers. (Audience)

Harker: (Looks around.) The seats are all taken! Get me on a flight! This is my third airport today. (Looks around at the airport, appalled and frightened by this alienating place.) I have an urgent business appointment in Pennsylvania.

Agent: And I am trying to do my job and you, Sir, are stopping me helping you! (She indicates seats Harker reluctantly sits in audience and asks people how long they have waited and where they are from as cleaner with mop crosses stage – Harker rushes to her/him).

(Airport Cleaner enters. He pushes a cart with cleaning fluids, parks the cart.)

Harker: (To cleaner) Out there, outside. Is it smog, do you know? (She shrugs). A volcano? (Shrugs) A hurricane? (He grabs her) You’ve got to tell me!

Cleaner: Pardon, Senor, yo no habla Ingliz...

Harker: (Almost sobbing, releases her) I have an appointment in Pennsylvania…I have an appointment....

(Harker turns and scuttles away, scared by his own aggression, and uses his phone; putting an earpiece into his ear. Sound of phone ringing.) Q3phone heard as to the caller’s ear – then pre-recorded message

Harker: Come on, Mina!

(Sounds of Mina’s bright recorded voice: Hi Mina here , just leave a message and I will get right back to you. Save the planet, love your earth!

Harker: Mina, I just want to tell you that I am stuck in some lousy little airport East of Kansas. And ..and..I also want to tell you that I love you. Whatever happens here I am doing this for you, for us. Love you, love you love you.

(Sound) Peep thank you. The voice box is full.

Harker: (Sad to air) Love you Mina... (Pause).

Harker: Lucy, you never turn your phone off.

Q4 (earpiece ring tone again, with pick-up), then to party-off sounds (Lights, coloured, up on part of the scaffold where Lucy Renfield appears – dressed in smart red party dress with a touch of extravagant eccentricity. Sound of a party. She has a fluted glass in her hand.)

Lucy: (answering) Jonathan, darling! I’m at a party! How did the meeting go?

Harker: I’m not there yet!

Lucy: (Suddenly concerned.) O, babe, what happened?

Harker: I’m fine, I’m fine, but some sort of polluted cloud has descended on Pennsylvania... do you know anything about it? No one here is talking....

Lucy: Babe, you know how bored the media is with climate change! (To someone off.) I’m just coming, darling. Keep a space for me, would you, be a man? (Back to Harker.) How many times do I have to tell you – we can’t win the argument, so we....

Harker: ...win in other ways.... I haven’t been able to get through to the client!

Lucy: You can’t mess up with this, Jonathan. Without the contract we have no funding and the project fails, if the project fails the town fails... everything fails.

Harker: I get that. (Looks around.) No one here does. Were you able to get any more information on the client?

Lucy: No.

Harker: How is someone so rich so discreet?

Lucy: Not discreet, invisible. The companies check out fine, steel, plastics, rust belt industries, but the client..... nothing.

Harker: Jesus....

Lucy: Get a grip, Jonathan. I can see your location on my phone.... I’ll make some calls and get back to you. (She ends the call and exits.)

Harker: Lucy? (He goes to audience) Is there a train station here?

A train? Choo choo! Christ does no one speak English!

(Agent rushes across stage ).

Agent: Stay calm everyone, just stay calm, (Then to phone) Oh my God ! No! (Rushes offstage). (Exiting.)

Harker: (Shouts after her.) What about my flight!The future of the planet rests on this deal! This is the contract that changes everything... (But she has gone).

(Harker slumps. He checks his phone.)

Harker: Where are you, Mina? (Sighs.) O, I’m so tired, I want to die. (Shouts into the air.) I refuse to sleep on an airport floor! (Light up on Lucy). . No drink this time. Phone rings. NOTE: the tunes in these ring tones, particularly those related to Mina, will reoccur in the music that Mina plays on her musical instrument later.) Q5

Harker: (Answers the phone.) Lucy?

Lucy: Jonathan, you are in the armpit of the world, my dear. There are no trains. Uber has crashed. No taxis currently available. And I checked the weather reports... darling, it’s going to get worse....

Harker: But the forecast was good...

Lucy: Weather patterns no longer have patterns.

Harker: Is this the tipping point? From now on, one disaster after another?

Lucy: Well, we won’t know that until it tips.... maybe this is why the client wants to get out quick.

Harker: How do I get to him?

Lucy: Find a way. Flag down a driver... offer them silly money....

(Airport Cleaner reappears)

Harker: Hey! Hey! Just a moment Lucy! Senor, donde es la uscita? Yo quiro un auto? (He waves dollars – the cleaner sighs and takes Harker by the hand).

Cleaner: Senor Gringo, vamos!

Lucy: Are you all right?

Harker: I`m being taken to a car, Lucy. I'm getting out of here.

Lucy: If you lose this contract, Jonathan, we lose the town, and there is only the long, long fall.... am I getting through to you?

Harker: OK, OK. Hello Lucy? Lucy. OK, Senor, Ok – let's go (He peels off more dollars Cleaner leads him outside – sudden change of light and Q6 the sound of wind howling punctuated by engines). Car engines?

Airport Cleaner: Auto – Auto ( Points but can hardly be heard).

Que Dios le ayude y te cuidan… [May God help you and look after you…]

(Airport Cleaner exits, pushing her cart, mumbling her blessing.)

Harker: Hey, wait! Was that a curse?

Harker: I don’t know what he’s doing in there...Mina? You’re my goddess! (calling) Hey! Hey, mister!

(A drunken Driver emerges from the shadows, hiding a spirits bottle in his jacket. He is dressed in some kind of retro style.A Hell’s Angel, or a country and western cowboy. Wears skull insignia.)

Driver: You talkin’ to me?

Harker: Good evening. Good morning... whatever it is.

Driver: It is what it is, Pal.

Harker: Are you a licensed cab ?

Driver: If you’re paying, I’m licensed.

Harker: (Decides.) Very well.... Can you take me to Pennsylvania?

Driver: M1 (singing drunkenly) “Pennsylvania, Transylvania, nuthin zanier!

Harker: (Losing it) need to get out of this Hell hole!

Driver: (mimicking Harker’s accent) “Oh this Hell hole – S'where I live man!...” (Pointing to the airport.) You come outta a pitch black airport in the middle of the night and you look at me like I’m the psycho! Geddin’, before I change my mind!!

Harker: But you can take me to this address, right? (Holds up piece of paper, Driver glances at it.)

Driver: Sure, everyone knows where that is. That great gazonking tower!!! It’s 400 bucks whatever.

Harker: What? (Driver shrugs and makes to go). Wait! Very well.... 400 dollars.

Driver: In advance. (Harker pauses then pays). Can take your case : My Fuckin' Lord?

Harker: No thank you. (Hugs briefcase)

Driver: Suit yourself - weirdo werewolf!

(Harker gets in the car. Driver starts the car. Harker sits in the passenger seat with his brief case in a tight embrace.) Q7

Driver: M2 (Driving. Mimicking Harker’s accent) (Sings drunkenly and in Harker’s accent.) “Well, I saw Lon Chaney walkin' with the queen
Doin' the werewolves of London
I saw Lon Chaney Jr. walkin' with the queen
Doin' the werewolves of London
I saw a werewolf drinkin' a pina colada at Trader Vic's

And his hair was perfect... Well aaoooooo!
Werewolves of London!
Aaoooooo! Aooooo! Aooooo!
Draw blood...”

(The lights of town and of other cars flicker over the faces of Harker and the Driver as the Driver hums ‘Werewolves of London’).

Harker; Mina. (To phone) Mina. Are you there? Please be home!

Mina Voice: Q8 Darling, you made it. The line is bad. Are you there Jonathan?

Harker: No I am in a car. No. Just a regular car. I hello?

Mina: You are breaking up, darling.

Harker; Hello, Hello, yes I am breaking up.

Driver: Hey, cool it. I can't hear myself drive.

Harker, Mina, Babe, you've got to be there. Mina! No nothing. Dead.

Driver: That your gal?

Harker: That's my Goddess.

Driver: Ain't no gods around here.

Harker: Why are the streets so dark? Energy conservation?

Driver: The lights went out days ago. You flick a switch and nothin’.

Harker: So the grid is down?

Driver: It’s a disaster movie. Something’s coming, I tell yah.... Lucky I got a fuel dump at my trailer park. I got ammo too. I’m prepared!

Harker: You have guns?

Driver: Kalashnikov, grenades too. If we meet any aliens I’ll blast 'em to little green pieces of shit!

Harker: Aliens?

Driver: Space aliens, UFO’s. America is in one Hell of a mess and I think maybe the aliens done it. Or the Mexicans. We gotta fight back, build a wall. We need a strong man to get the power back on.

Harker: A strong man like the man in the big tower?

Driver: Maybe. Or maybe a big thing. War on the Moslems. Jesus comin' .Something big.

Harker: Would climate change do it?

Driver: Ain't no such thing as climate change. That's a plot by the United Nations to make us all slaves!

Harker:(Q8 cut or timed, music or engine)(Driver braking and sound of engine drops.) Why are you stopping?

Driver: (Driver brakes and stops.) Listen.

Harker: What? (Driver turns the engine off.) Don’t stop! (From off stage a kind of human-wolf howling.) What was that? Q9 –howling, rec & live

Driver: You’ll see.

Harker: I don’t want to see!

(Two winos, howling like wolves, clutching half full spirits bottles stagger on – they growl at the car...)

Harker: O my god...

Driver: I told you no gods here, buddy. This is the waste land. These folk don’t even speak Spanish anymore. Just wolf. Seen enough?

Q10 (Harker nods. Tries to restart the engine, but it stutters.)

Harker: O, please... no....

(Driver tries again. The winos drop to the ground on all fours and begin to circle the car, which still refuses to start.)

Harker: Hurry up, they’re getting closer!!! (Harker bangs the side of the car.) Shoo! Shoo! Get away!Q12 sinister Hitchcock feel

(Harker’s shouting makes one of the winos move back and bump into the other wino, who grabs the first wino and throws them to the ground, leaning over them and growling, threatening them with their bottle.)

Harker: They’re animals!!! (One of the winos hears and stares at Harker.)

Driver: Nah, they’re steelworkers; that lost their jobs– now they beat people not metal (Driver tries the ignition again, no good.) Q13 car starter motor cough, cued over music

Harker: You’re flooding it! Leave it for a moment!

(Two pools of red light appear on the ground. The winos are attracted by these – one to each pool of light. They begin to fish their hands into the puddles as if there was something in there.)

Harker: What’s in those puddles? Is there something in the pollution?

(The winos are dipping their bottles into the pools of red light.)

Driver: They smell the oil... they siphon it up and sell it to buy stuff.

(The two winos have turned the bottles around, so now they appear to be full of black liquid. They dance around.)

Harker: What kind of stuff?

Driver: Crack, crystal meth, cheap liquor. Now there are no Welfare payments, oil is the only thing between them and Hell.

Harker: Oil as Jesus.. Look out!!!

(The winos run to the car and start banging on the side of the car and howling. The Driver finally gets the engine to start and they roar away, the winos left chasing the car and then rolling off in its trail.)

Harker: (Looking back.) That was close! Q13 cut

Driver: Look! It’s your Tower.

Harker: What? (Peering through the windscreen.)

Driver: Straight ahead.

Harker: That big building with the red safety light?

Driver: No, behind that. Q14Dracula theme, 1st appearance.

Harker: O my god! It’s like a glass rocket pointing to the sky!

Driver: Not that little thing! Him in there! (Laughs.) No, way beyond that. Can you see a shape in the darkness of the night itself?

(Harker stares through the windscreen more intently.)

Harker: In the darkness of the n.... (He suddenly throws himself back in his seat.) No, no, no – I thought that was the mountain!... (Looks again.) It’s made completely of darkness... how can that be?

Driver: Just is. Belongs to him, and just is.

Harker: Why, you know him, don’t you? Can you tell me about him? I’ve got a meeting with him today.....

Q15 perhaps edit car sounds over music in rehearsal?(Driver hits the brakes. Squeal of the brakes and skidding tyres. Harker hammers into the dashboard. Driver gets out the car, backing away from Harker. Harker gets out of the car. Harker takes out a handkerchief and daps at his nose. When he takes the handkerchief away there is blood on it.)

Harker: Why did you do that?

Driver: You keep away from me. This is as far as I go! Take this (Throws cruxifix round Harker's neck.) Jesus Saves. You gonna need him. I dont need him no more. I don’t need Jesus.