OBJECTIVES OF LESSON 3
- To encourage us to maintain a positive attitude.
- To have the opportunity to present whiteboard assignments and practise “hands-on” skills with this medium.
- To demonstrate the importance of personal space in the communication process ("proxemics").
- To become aware of “tactiles” or touch in our interaction with others.
- To have the opportunity to view demonstrations of presentations using projectors – both overhead transparencies and electronic presentations.
HUMAN RELATIONS - SELF-LEARNING MODULE
MAINTAIN A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
The glass of water may appear to be half-empty or half-full; it is all in the way we look at things.
Maintain a positive attitude.
What constitutes an attitude? How is an attitude acquired? What motivates you to do specific actions? Your collection of experiences and your feelings about those experiences result in attitudes and beliefs that usually determine the way you will act in the future. Our system's evaluation of experiences becomes our self-image, the way we look at ourselves; and this, in turn, regulates future behavioral patterns.
The one area of behavior that we are specifically interested in is interpersonal communication. We do want to become more effective in face-to-face communication.
It begins with our thoughts. We are constantly revising the information stored in our mind whenever we think. The changes that affect this stored information emerge in the form of attitudinal changes that affect the behavior that others see. Supportive reinforcement of a positive or negative attitude through conscious thought strengthens the belief so that most change is difficult. Attitudes have a tendency to be their own reinforcing agents.
We think of ourselves as being successful at, and enjoying and participating in, interpersonal communication; or we think of ourselves as less than successful, becoming tense and withdrawing from talking or participating in interpersonal communication. Every thought we have strengthens and adds to that image. All of us need positive reinforcement and must try to build up a positive image. New and stronger attitudes can be formulated. We tend to learn most readily that which is most rewarding.
Following is a list of five truths that will help us develop a healthy, positive attitude:
1.Accept the truth that all of us possess imagination. Creativity is a part of EVERY person including YOU!
2.Accept the truth that attitudes are learned, not inherited. We are what we think we are. Individuals can, to a large extent, do what they think they can do. You can become an effective communicator by having a self-image of success.
3.Accept the truth that criticism may be destructive. Evaluation may be unintentionally destructive. Do not allow apparently destructive criticism to upset you! Think CONSTRUCTIVELY!
4.Accept the truth that laughter cannot hurt! We need to be able and willing to laugh at ourselves.
5.Accept the truth that an attitude of constructive discontent is natural. It is a philosophy that everyone can be made better. Such an attitude leads to constructive action. Progress is not the reaching of a goal, but rather the continuum to reach toward a goal. We continue to revise our goals upward and onward so that life is a constant challenge and improvement.
If we strive to establish a system or framework within which continuous innovation, renewal, and rebirth can occur, our interpersonal relations and communication will also be improved.
S3.1Christopher Leadership Course 2
HUMAN RELATIONS JOURNAL
Lesson 3 - Attitudes and Positive Thinking
Major message (inspiration) to me was:
How I already do this routinely:
How I would like to improve in this area:
Action plan:
With whom
Where
When
How
What happened
Other thoughts
S3.1Christopher Leadership Course 2
HOW YOUR ATTITUDE COLOURS YOUR LIFE
Our attitudes colour everything we see and do. Positive attitudes brighten our lives with every colour of the rainbow. Negative attitudes darken our world to grey and black. Which attitudes colour your world? Judge your attitude toward others and the situations you may find yourself in. This survey may help you to assess your attitudes and determine if any areas need improvement.
Beside each statement, write the number that most closely represents your answer. Answer with your first reaction!
5 yes 4 mostly yes3 sometimes yes/sometimes no2 mostly no 1 no
1. Are you friendly and congenial?
2. Do you refrain from being a "complainer"?
3. Can you be optimistic when others are depressed?
4. Do you refrain from boasting or bragging?
5. Do you have a sense of duty and responsibility?
6 Do you control your temper?
7. Do you speak well of your employer?
8. Do you feel well most of the time?
9. Do you follow directions willingly, asking questions when necessary?
10. Do you keep promises?
11. Do you organize your work and keep up with it?
12. Do you readily admit your mistakes?
13. Can you be a leader without being "bossy"?
14. Is it easy for you to like nearly everyone?
15. Can you stick to a tiresome task without being prodded?
16. Do you realize your weaknesses and attempt to correct them?
17. Can you take being teased?
18. Do you avoid feeling sorry for yourself?
19. Are you courteous to others?
20. Are you neat in your personal appearance and work habits?
21. Do you respect the opinions of others?
22. Are you a good loser?
23. Can you adapt to new and unexpected situations readily?
24. Are you tolerant of other people's beliefs?
25. Do you refrain from "sulking" when things go differently than you'd like?
26. Are you a good listener?
27. Are you the kind of friend you expect others to be?
28. Can you disagree without being disagreeable?
29. Are you punctual?
30. Do you drive carefully?
31. Do you generally speak well of others?
32. Can you take criticism without being resentful or feeling hurt?
33. Are you careful to pay back all loans, however small?
34. Do you generally look at the bright side of things?
35. Does your voice usually sound cheerful?
36. Can you work with those you dislike?
37. Are you pleasant to others even when you feel displeased about something?
38. Do you show enthusiasm for the interests of others?
39. Do you tend to be enthusiastic about whatever you do?
______40. Are you honest and sincere with others?
If there are areas in which you scored 1's or 2's, you may wish to examine them to see if there is room for improvement. It has been suggested that a total score of 150 or more shows an attitude toward others that is admirable.
NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION
PROXEMICS
Charles Darwin spoke about the need that animals have to stake out a territory of their own. Humans, too, need spaces of their own: both territorial space and personal space.
Be sensitive to the space that people require.
1.TERRITORIALITY refers to the territory that is generally immovable and typically separate from a person; it refers to ownership, possession rights, and declaration of rights to a position.
Territoriality -- Ownership, Possession Rights
For example:
a.A student may leave books opened on a study table and a jacket over the chair to claim library space.
b.Pictures and personal momentos are placed on desks.
c.An adult may leave a briefcase or personal item on a chair to secure a space in a seminar setting.
d.An insecure partner may display ownership in a social setting (holding upper arm); show consideration and sensitivity for that person's needs.
Personal Space -- Intimate Space
2.PERSONAL SPACE is the area surrounding a person that moves with the person - the amount of physical distance that you maintain between yourself and other people. Usually a person is unaware of this space until it is intruded upon. The space needed varies from person to person, from culture to culture, and from country to country. There are four dimensions in personal space.
a.INTIMATE SPACE - from touch to 46 centimeters (18 inches). Entry is restricted to those who are emotionally close to us: family members or close friends. When someone enters this space, it signifies affection, comfort, and protection; and we respond positively. However, if a stranger enters this space, we feel discomfort (we make allowances for those who enter our intimate zone in public places where space is less available, such as elevators, theatres and waiting rooms). We have physiological changes; our senses are alerted to danger, and our brain instinctively is prepared to act on the fight-flight protection syndrome. Our heart rate increases, our breathing becomes more shallow, and our blood pressure goes up. We may continue to smile though so as not to offend the other person. We experience a definite negative reaction and become defensive. We react by:
*moving back to re-establish distance
*avoiding eye contact
*holding body rigid
*positioning the body back away from the other person
*leaning back
*placing some barrier between oneself and the other person.
b.SOCIAL DISTANCE – 46 cm to 1.2 metres (18 to 48 inches)
Conversation usually occurs between individuals within a space of 1.2metres (forty-eight inches).
Two men from the city greet each other Two men from a country town
When we want to get a positive reaction from a person, we must respect the personal space needed. The average space required is 46 centimeters (18 inches). People who live in the country prefer a larger space - up to 1 metre (40 inches). Some cultures tend to be comfortable at 22.5 cm to 25 cm (9 to 10 inches).
People from a sparsely populated area
As leaders, it is essential to learn empathetic respect and sensitivity to others' personal space requirements. In situations where we are exposed to complete invasion of our personal space, for example in a crowded elevator, there are sets of unspoken rules of conduct that people follow for self-protection of their personal space needs. For example:
*we do not speak
*we avoid eye contact
*we display no emotion
*we stay engrossed in our newspaper or book
*we look out windows or watch the elevator floor numbers.
Generally the larger the crowd, the fewer body movements we make. If we notice that people are displaying these indicators of discomfort, let us be sensitive and give them more personal space whenever possible. Being a good leader demands being respectful of individual differencesand requirements.
The larger the crowd, the fewer body movements we make
Conversation usually occurs at a space of 1.2 meters
When this distance decreases, it is usually due to acceptance and approval of the other person. Informal parties and meetings show this gradual shift of distance over a period of time.
The distance decreases usually due to acceptance and approval
c.PUBLIC DISTANCE – 1.2 metres to 4 metres (4 to 12 feet)
This distance is reserved for people conducting business; it is more formal, less personal. We use this distance for strangers, for example the washer repairman or a new person on staff. As we gain familiarity with an individual, the distance decreases.
A person with a perceived higher status usually receives the maximum distance. For example, the company president would probably receive 4 metres (12 feet).
Public speakers, instructors, ministers, lawyers, and the like receive a large distance. This occurs in a formal environment and is quite impersonal.
For more information, please read Appendix C.
TACTILES
The tactile sense, or touch, is the earliest and most primitive form of communication in developing humans. Only touch has the power to communicate depth, form, texture, and warmth. Touch is the simplest and most direct way of relating.
We know that babies respond to touch and that they explore their environment through touch. Their sense of trust in the world is nurtured by being held and cuddled. Studies have shown that babies deprived of this physical contact and security often become psychologically deprived. The mortality rate is also higher for infants lacking in physical contact from caregivers. Babies learn from tasting, touching, and feeling everything within their range; and often some favorite object becomes their security symbol linked through touch.
Other studies have shown a very high correlation between some health disorders and the absence of physical touch from other humans. Autism, or extreme withdrawal from reality, has been treated by touch therapy.
These examples are extremes of the human need for contact and touch as communication. A more common example that we can all relate to is the reassurance we receive from a simple touch from someone else. This is simple communication reaching the deepest needs.
To understand the power of tactile communication, let us examine a few characteristics.
Tactile communication differs in each culture. The North American tends to associate touch with intimacy; but in many other cultures, touch has different connotations and implications. Kissing, patting, shaking hands, and hugging are all tactiles that represent a variety of messages depending on the culture. Learning to be sensitive to cultural norms and standards will help us interpret messages.
Tactiles can communicate fear, love, anxiety, warmth, and coldness. Tactiles tell others that they are liked and accepted. Often when words fail, tactiles succeed.
For example, when we learn of someone's death, often we cannot express our sympathy through any other means than through a hug or a handshake. Congratulations and enthusiasm are often best communicated through tactiles.
Touch matters! The right touch can make a big difference. A simple pat on the back or shoulder can show approval, reassure someone, or emphasize a point. But used incorrectly, even the best-intended touch can be perceived as an invasion of privacy.
In the business field, experts recommend that caution be used in touching. Occasions such as birthdays, weddings, and promotions may, however, make a touch appropriate. Sometimes touch can help diffuse these situations at work by conveying more understanding than words alone can convey. (But, it is also easy for tactiles to be misinterpreted.)
Touching is a privilege of power and can express dominance. One study showed that touch travels down the corporate ladder, but rarely up. People tend to touch subordinates, but not superiors. In work situations where both females and males are involved, people should be extremely wary of using tactiles. Women often find touches from male co-workers threatening and are often reluctant to touch their male co-worker for fear of misinterpretation. Sexual harassment is such an issue today that the best advice is to use caution in touching.
The setting, context, naturalness, and motive all influence the appropriateness of a touch. Several studies combined their research to compile a number of suggestions for people concerned about communicating effectively within the work place.
1Business and cuddling do not mix.
2.Tapping or touching to get someone's attention only distracts or irritates.
3.With the exception of the handshake, the boss should be the one to initiate any acceptable tactile communication.
4.Without an accompanying verbal message, touches designed to have someone move out of the way seem rude and condescending.
5.When people are working under pressure, they may respond unpredictably to touching.
6.In almost every work place there are people who do not like to be touched. Respect their wishes.
7.In the work situation, you are never wrong NOT to touch.
There are 'safe' touch areas. A firm pat on the shoulder conveys friendship and support. A touch on the elbow adds emphasis to your message.
A momentary touch on the hand reassures someone whereas a pat on the head is seen as condescending. Generally, touching the front of anyone's body is unacceptable. Any grooming gesture -- straightening a tie or brushing away lint can be interpreted as patronizing. Sexual overtones are carried with any touch below the waist.
The handshake is one of the most common tactile forms of communication, and it is surprising how much is communicated through this gesture. Dominance is transmitted by turning your palm down while shaking hands and submissiveness by turning your palm upwards. Equality is communicated by keeping your palms perpendicular to the floor.
Aggressive PalmSubmissive PalmDominant Palm
Giving Control Taking Control Equal Control
The knuckle-grinder squeeze is used by the “aggressive tough guy”, and the finger-tip grab is used by someone lacking in confidence. The arm pull is sometimes used to bring people closer into the personal space. Sometimes the arm pull is a cultural practice. The stiff-arm thrust has the intent of keeping others at a distance. World-wide, the most unpopular handshake is the dead fish, usually suggesting a very low self-esteem. However, be sensitive to professional musicians, surgeons, or arthritics who use this handshake for protection. To help communicate the most positive message with your handshake, keep your grasp firm, upright, and let your palm touch.
The Knuckle GrinderThe Politician
The GloveThe Dead Fish
Tactile communication is very powerful and should be given freely to family and intimates. Within the workplace and community, caution should be exercised to avoid misinterpretation.
PRESENTATION SKILL
PROJECTED VISUAL AIDS
A presentation can be tremendously enhanced by the use of slides, filmstrips, motion pictures, animated computer-generated slides or overhead transparencies. These aids may serve to:
substitute for impossibility, such as the presence of a large or unique object or process,
focus audience attention,
clarify concepts or simplify,
inject change of pace to maintain audience attention.
GENERAL PREPARATIONS FOR USING A PROJECTOR
Avoid rough handling of the projector during transit, and allow the projector to reach room temperature before operation to prevent damage control.