Name:
Working thesis statement1/1
Working thesis statement is a full sentence that makes an interesting, analytical statement
Length1/1
Draft is long enough (4 pages, or 1,000 words. Quotations do not count in word count)
Choice of citations1/1
Draft contains at least 8 citations that are insightful and varied (from different parts of the novel)
Handling of citations1/1
Citations are properly integrated & contextualized
Ideas1/1
Draft contains significant analysis (by using any of the techniques discussed in class)
Total5/5
Comments: Lots of great stuff here. Great ideas. You are making interesting connections and analyzing well. Strong first draft.
What to work on for next time: show moments of tenderness and love between Lenny and Eunice. You show a lot of them talking about each other to other people, but not them interacting.
Also, none of your citations come from after page 200. What about the later parts of the novel, where there relationship falls apart? How does this fit into your thesis?
Name:
Working thesis statement1/1
Working thesis statement is a full sentence that makes an interesting, analytical statement
Length1/1
Draft is long enough (4 pages, or 1,000 words. Quotations do not count in word count)
Choice of citations1/1
Draft contains at least 8 citations that are insightful and varied (from different parts of the novel)
Handling of citations1/1
Citations are properly integrated & contextualized
Ideas1/1
Draft contains significant analysis (by using any of the techniques discussed in class)
Total5/5
Comments: Very strong 1st draft. Lots of great ideas.Some excellent analysis and connections.
What to work on for next draft: Thesis is not entirely clear. Do you mean the gap of how much Eunice uses tech vs. how much Lenny uses tech, or the gap that tech places between people? Essay gets stronger as it goes on. 1st paragraph—relationship to thesis is least clear. Also, doesn’t the way each of them relate to tech have at least something to do with their ages? Worth mentioning, at least as a potential counterargument.
Name:
Working thesis statement1/1
Working thesis statement is a full sentence that makes an interesting, analytical statement
Length1/1
Draft is long enough (4 pages, or 1,000 words. Quotations do not count in word count)
Choice of citations0.5/1
Draft contains at least 8 citations that are insightful and varied (from different parts of the novel)
Handling of citations0.5/1
Citations are properly integrated & contextualized
Ideas0.5/1
Draft contains significant analysis (by using any of the techniques discussed in class)
Total3.5/5
Comments: Strong thesis. Some really good ideas.
What you need to do for next draft: There is too much summary here, and not nearly enough genuine analysis. I like your thesis, but you don’t really follow through with it in your draft. This doesn’t seem to be exactly what your essay is about. You must contextualize quotes BEFORE the quote, not after. There are 2 ideas in here I want you to explore more: “maybe Lenny wants to be comforted by Eunice as well,” and “Lenny realizes they should be together during this horrible times, but Eunice doesn’t”. These are interesting ideas, and should be the main arguments for each of these paragraphs. Your last paragraph does not say anything substantial.
Name:
Working thesis statement1/1
Working thesis statement is a full sentence that makes an interesting, analytical statement
Length1/1
Draft is long enough (4 pages, or 1,000 words. Quotations do not count in word count)
Choice of citations1/1
Draft contains at least 8 citations that are insightful and varied (from different parts of the novel)
Handling of citations1/1
Citations are properly integrated & contextualized
Ideas1/1
Draft contains significant analysis (by using any of the techniques discussed in class)
Total5/5
Comments: Lots of great stuff here. You’ve made some interesting connections between different parts of the novel. What I’d like to see you do for your next draft is get more into why all of this is important to Lenny and Eunice’s relationship. How does the elimination of privacy and encouragement of superficiality help or hinder the progression of their love affair? Is their relationship superficial? Is it more, less, or equal to Amy and Noah’s in terms of superficiality? Talking about these things will add an interesting dynamic to your paper.