JOHN GRAY FILM -- HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT, AND WANT WHAT YOU HAVE
John Gray is a successful author.
He was a celibate monk for 9 years in his 20’s.
“No matter what, you always get what you need.”
“Whenever you struggle in life, it’s because you haven’t asked. Help will not come unless you ask.”
“How do you know the qualities of your true self – it’s when you’re feeling really good – that’s who you really are: loving, peaceful, supportive, patient, courageous.”
How to take a negative reaction and turn it into a positive one Is his purpose in the film.
“90% of success is just showing up.”
“If you were never forgiven as a child, you feel you are no good (not worthy).”
“Forgive yourself when you make mistakes. “
“ In Rome, it was a Roman law to beat a child to death to set an example. There was no permission to resist. Forgiveness is the secret. If we can’t resist, we have no will.”
“The secret is, I’m grateful and I want more. Gratitude opens the door, desire pulls it in and motivates us to go out and get it.”
It’s a balance: 1) Intention is the first step.
2) Be open to what we need
3) Put it into Action – Action requires RISK.
“Sometimes at the darkest moment, the sun comes up.”
LOVE TANKS (Life is a balancing act).
All of these are 7 year cycles according to Gray.
G1 – Creation – divine energy.
P1 – Parents – caretakers/trust. Age 7-14 – they like to be with parents.
F -- Friends, fun, play. We feel safe/we learn to be happy.
P2 – Peer support. Teenage years. Mentors.
S -- Self-love. Ages 21-28. Worthiness. Gray says people marry too soon before they know the self.
R -- Relationships – the Romance tank.
D – Dreams. Follow your dreams. Children. Pets can substitute.
C – Community and service. Age: 40’s.
W – World service. Ages 49 and over. Taking care of self and giving to the world through service.
G2 -- Fulfilling others (retirement time). “Use me to bless the world and fulfill others.”
“If you can’t get what you need, you’re looking in the wrong direction.”
Recharging and De-charging: Pull in positive energy, send out negativity or fear, sadness, confusion, despair, etc.
BLOCKS – Feel the emotion under the block to get rid of it.
1. Blame - Anger, fear. Don’t make decisions if you are angry.
2. Depression – (no joy), sadness, fear, regret, loss, abandonment
3. Confusion - (hopelessness), fear, regret, frustration.
4. Indifference – (lack of love, lack of caring), regret, frustration.
5. Judgment – worry, fear.
6. Indecision – worry, embarrassment
7. Procrastination – disappointment
8. Perfectionism – inadequacy, embarrassment, jealousy
9. Resentment – jealousy, anger, hurt, fear
10. Self-pity – hurt, fear, shame
11. Anxiety – (take risks, courage requires risk), fear, shame, anger
12. Guilt – unworthiness, shame, anger, sadness. Change guilt to innocence.
Gray suggests writing blocks into a journal. For example, with Blame, write “What am I angry about? What am I feeling?”
YOU ARE RELEASING EMOTIONS TO REMOVE THE BLOCK.
He ends with the “magic wishing star” story about his daughter Lauren.
“Whenever we experience negativity, it’s because we’ve stopped believing in our dreams.”