We see in dovening we say daily that Hashem should bless us with the light of his countenance, and that he has granted us the Torah of eternal life and His unconditional loving kindness. When we think of doing acts of kindness, we think of this as a person helping another individual. We are told its not just doing a good deed, but its also loving good deeds and loving doing these good deeds. In truth, this concept is very deep, yet we have a very limited perception of this.
The love of chesed is a gift that Hashem has given Klal Yisroel. We learn that Hashem has given us a gift called love of chesed. Why do we need this gift? It is a joy of doing chesed that connects us to other desires. We have a desire in our DNA to do acts of loving kindness.
In these recent week’s parshas, we see that Avraham was not just a man who exhibited chesed, but had it run in his very essence. When we understand the difference between being sweet and nice and the extent of obligation it places upon a person we can understand the difference between what we do and performing acts of kindness.
The proclivity and need to do acts of loving kindness should have nothing to do with a person's given inclination or tendency to love people. A person’s “built in” connection to chesed really is only an ulterior motive. If a person actually enjoys seeing people happy then he does chesed with people he loves because he enjoys seeing them happy. Even this is not the ultimate level of chesed as this doesn’t represent the purest motivation of all. The core of this is an inward force that comes from the soul which is above all mundane aspects of this world and is connected directly to Hashem.
By doing acts of loving kindness, we are making a transformation in the world and changing the structure and the way things are occurring. You have a lot of people doing chesed for those they know, yet if you understand chesed, it’s not about the recipient, rather it’s about doing the act. Chesed is for ourselves and not for the recipient. It is up to us to generate a familiarity with doing chesed and a love for doing this so that we become elevated.
The truest essence of chesed is that we are giving someone something not because they need it, but because we have to expand ourselves in giving. It’s not because there is even a given clear need. We are elevating ourselves in the process irrespective of needs and what the recipient receives. There is an aspect of pleasure in this giving merely to give, and this is the highest aspect of doing chesed and which is then the closest form of emulating Hashem. This pleasure of doing chesed to help others can be more pleasurable than all other pleasures. Hashem has bestowed us with a special gift that we can not only develop a tremendous pleasure from doing these acts of loving kindness, but we can actually develop a yearning to do more and more such acts by doing just some.
We have to be careful that the chesed we do is without blemish and if one realizes that they are getting something from us, this can make them feel bad. This is not complete. We know there are different levels of charity, and we know the highest level is not giving to someone in a way that they understand where things are coming from. The highest level by charity is to give anonymously, ideally not knowing who is giving or even getting. This is the same by chesed.
If I have a bad thought, or the wrong intent, this too reduces the act of chesed. Having this sort of intention also blemishes the act, because it’s not pure. It’s not what it should be. Loving chesed is what is referred to as ahavas chesed. This is really the core of the Jewish soul. When you give someone a pleasure that's physical and even all of their needs, your desire will strengthen and your thirst increases to want to do something spiritual and eternal. The physical is only there to bring you closer to a spiritual level of eternity.
If I develop a physical rapport with you then I want to begin to create a spiritual rapport, as well. The Rabbis tell us, what is this similar to? If a simpleton were to marry the King's daughter, then if he were to bring her all of the pleasures of the world this would be very little in her eyes, and so to is it for the soul. If you give someone provisions and what to live on, in reality you have given them less than what you could give when as children of Hashem they really could receive spirituality and this is what would the best gift of all that they could receive.
Those who love chesed have to enable the physical giving to lead to the next phase of spiritual endeavors and give them opportunities to increase in the realm of Torah. This could include inviting others for Shabbos, learning with someone or enabling them to do any other mitzvah. It’s essential to remember that the physical is merely temporal, yet if we inspire someone to the spiritual, then we help connect them more to the eternal and to Hashem, and we have thus given them a much more substantial amount.
Loving kindness of a spiritual nature is eternal – it’s not just physical. When we inspire someone to a higher level of connection to Hashem, this is ultimately the chesed of Avraham. Avraham, our forefather set up a house, provided food, gave out food, but ultimately did far more than this. Avraham used the physical as a bridge to the spiritual; his ultimate purpose was to help his guests realize that the physical stemmed from the spiritual, that Hashem as the source of all provided for them and this helped them achieve a better understanding of Hashem.
So Avraham Avinu would start with the food and then ask them, “where do you think the food came from?” The way that he did this with such wisdom, we see is not about directly talking to the soul, but very often it’s through a physical means of chesed. This itself represents the pleasure. This love of chesed brings us to even coming closer to Hashem. Through chesed we can give you something that is eternal, and if we can help another do just one mitzvah, this is something that lasts forever and is truly beyond this world.
The connection between a Torah of eternal life and loving doing acts of kindness is that they are truly interwoven. The Toras Chaim, the eternal light and life of Torah to the Jew is the goal of loving acts of kindness (Ahavas Chesed), and this elevates others to help them to live a life of Toras Chaim. Thus we see that this is the Ohr Panecha (the light of Hashems countenance), and through the acts of loving kindness may we merit the light of Hashem himself.
Rabbi Dovid Weinberger gives a weekly Mussar Vaad on timely topics from the Alter of Slobodka every Sunday morning at 9:45am for men at
Congregation Shaaray Tefila - please join us!