Liberty Baptist ChurchHelping People Change1
Helping People Change
Lessons on Biblical Counseling
Contents
Lesson 1:Introduction
Lesson 2: The Qualifications of a Biblical Counselor
Lesson 3: The Doctrine of Spiritual Growth
Lesson 4: The Importance of Personal Responsibility
Lesson 5: Dealing with Temptation
Lesson 6: Key Elements of the Counseling Process
Lesson 7: Psychobabble—The Errors and Myths of Pop Psychology
Lesson 8: Rules of Communication
Lesson 9: Overcoming Worry/Anxiety
Lesson 10: Overcoming Anger
Lesson 11: Overcoming Depression
Lesson 12: Dealing with Stress/Tension
Lesson 13: Overcoming Fear
Lesson 14: Dealing with Guilt
Lesson 15: Biblical Perspectives on Suffering
Lesson 16: Overcoming Marriage Problems
Lesson 17: Dealing with Doubt (Lack of Assurance of Salvation)
This material is largely based on A Servant’s Guide to Biblical Counseling, compiled by Mark Buhr, First Baptist Church of Gibraltar, MI. Original source was Faith Baptist Church/Faith Biblical Counseling of Lafayette, IN. Modified by Brad Anderson, Liberty Baptist Church, Antigo, WI. Other sources noted. This is the teacher’s edition of the notes with blanks filled in and additional notes and comments [in brackets].
Liberty Baptist ChurchHelping People Change1
Helping People Change:
Lessons on Biblical Counseling
Lesson 1: Introduction
The biblical word for positive change is sanctification. Essentially, to be sanctified is to be holy. No one can attain perfect sanctification in this life, but every Christian should be moving toward higher levels of consecration, maturity, and commitment (see 2 Pet 1:5-8, 3:18). Every believer is personally responsible to grow in his own sanctification. Further, believers are to encourage and exhort one another to grow in grace (thus, all the “one another” passages in the NT).
In the local church, each member is responsible to “exercise Christian care and watchfulness over one another.”[1] Members strive to promote grace, knowledge, holiness and spirituality within the church. The author of Hebrews exhorts believers to “consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works”(Heb 10:24). This series of lessons is designed to aid Christians in helping one another toward biblical change. We might describe this task as biblical counseling.
Some might object that biblical counseling is the domain of pastors and professional counselors, and that average Christians should mind their own business. However, the biblical expectation is that all Christians will be involved in helping others change through biblical advice, exhortation, and encouragement.
Note Paul’s words:
Rom 15:14 And I myself also am persuaded of you, my brethren, that ye also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another.
Paul clearly expected believers to be able to “admonish one another.” The word “admonish” is an important one in the discussion of biblical counseling. It could be translated as “counsel, warn, instruct, or exhort.” Thus, every believer should be able to counsel, warn, or exhort any other believer in an effort to bring about necessary change.
Definition of Biblical Counseling
In simple terms, biblical counseling is giving biblical advice to those who need to change. This process typically involves three elements: identifying the need, finding the solution to the need, and revealing the motives behind the change needed.
- Need identification boils down to discerning the thinking and behavior that God wants one to change.
- The solution to that need is the application of the Word of God in order to change the wrong thinking and behavior.
- The motivesbehind the changes made are the spiritual growth of the counselee and the glory of God.
Biblical or “Nouthetic” Counseling
As noted above, the biblical word “admonish” (Greek: noutheteo)means to “counsel, warn, instruct, or exhort.”Passages that use noutheteo:
1 Cor 4:14 I write not these things to shame you, but as my beloved sons I warn you.
Col 1:28 Whom we preach, warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom; that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus:
Col 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
1 Thes 5:14 Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.
2 Thes 3:15 Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.
Thus, to admonish refers to the process of counseling someone from the Word of God in order to bring him or her to a place of obedience to Christ. That obedience will then bring growth and satisfaction to the counselee and glory to God.
In some cases, admonishment is the responsibility of the pastor. But more generally speaking, admonishment is the responsibility of every believer (“admonishing one another”). Thus, biblical counseling is not restricted to pastors or to professional counselors only. Any believer who is “full of goodness, filled with all knowledge” (Rom 15:14) should be able to participate in biblical counseling.In Galatians 6:1-2, Paul exhorts all spiritual believers to be involved in the restoration of those who have fallen into sin. Any believer who is a serious and obedient student of God’s Word is a capable counselor.In fact, confronting people about their sin and helping them to live obediently is part of the church’s discipleshipministry (Matt18:15-18, 28:18-20). Because members of a church have committed themselves to watch over one another, the process of biblical counseling works best under the oversight of the local church.
The Theological Pyramid
We must approach, understand, and apply the Bible correctly if we are going to be of any help to those with problems. The following graphic represents this truth (start at the bottom).
Implications of the Theological Pyramid
- The bottom levels of the pyramid support the top level (change & growth). The accurate and organized (systematized) use of the Bible is the key to true biblical counseling. Biblical principles must have active control over the entire counseling process. Counseling is, in essence, repeating and explaining biblical passages that apply to the counselee’s situation and problem. The Bible is God’s only tool to bring about our change, growth, and satisfaction.
- Since the Bible and theology are the only God-ordained tools for Christian counseling, two conclusions are apparent. First, if one desires to be a competent counselor, one must be a serious and obedient student of the Word of God. Second, the most competent counselor is not the one with training in secular psychology, but the one who has the best grasp of the teachings of God’s Word.
- Many advocates of “Christian counseling” today try to combine the “assured results” of secular psychology with biblical truth. Counselors often get their training in psychology from secular universities and adopt the theories of the leading voices in psychology (e.g., Freud, Rogers, Jung, Maslow, Skinner, etc.). They try to integrate such theories with the Bible, with mixed results at best. Biblical counseling does not employ secular psychological theories.
The Sufficiency of Christ & His Word
Col 2:8 Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ
2Pet 1:3 According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue:
Biblical counseling, as a sub-category of Christian growth, assumes that the believer’s relationship with Christ and the teachings of God’s Worddetermines whether he can deal effectively with life’s problems. Even in counseling an unbeliever, one must assume a biblical foundation. While simple obedience to the moral and ethical injunctions of the Bible will help an unsaved person, his greatest need is forgiveness of sins through faith in Christ as his sin-bearer. Only through an obedient relationship with Christ is true satisfaction possible. Through a biblical knowledge of Christ, obedience to His Word, and the working of God’s Spirit, a Christian can effectively deal with all of life’s problems and situations. One need not resort to the tenuous and often contradictory theories of humanistic psychology to find solutions to typical problems.
Read the following passages: Psalm 119:24;Isaiah 28:29; 1 Corinthians 1:18-25;2 Corinthians 9:8; Romans 8:5-8; Eph 1:3;Colossians 2:2-3
The Bible claims to contain everything Christians need for living in a way that pleases God. Biblical counseling, as opposed to secular or Christian psychology, holds that believers need not seek counsel outside biblical principles to help them deal with their issues of inner well-being and soul-health. The Bible has the solutions, at least in principle, to problems of the human soul (psyche). The Word of God is the only reliable, sufficient, and supreme resource for the diagnosis and remedy of the human soul.
The Bible is not an encyclopedia of counseling topics that lists every particular human problem, but it does contain revelatory data to establish an effective framework for the diagnosis and treatment of every soul-problem.[2] Christianity provides a distinct and comprehensive point of view about human souls and the cure for what ails them. God’s view of human psychology and his call to soul-therapy differ essentially and pervasively from both the theories and therapies that have dominated psychological discourse and practice in the 20th century.[3] We dare not attempt to integrate human theories about the soul with God’s Word.
The Goal of Biblical Counseling
People may come to us with their problems, seeking solutions. However, people often confusesymptomsof the problem with the root of the problem itself. Christian counseling seeks to get at the root of the problem, not merely eliminate the pain of the symptom.
The highest goal in any counseling situation is to glorify God by bringing one’s life into greater conformity with God’s will and character as revealed in the Bible.
Read the following passages: Ps 1; Ps 119:9-11; Isaiah 43:6-7; Romans 8:29; 1 Corinthians 10:31; 1 Peter 1:15-16; 1 Peter 4:11
The primary goal of every believer can be boiled down to the following statement: Every believer should strive to reflect and glorify Jesus Christ by living obedient, holy, and submissive lives. No matter what the situation, every believer must strive to conform to the image of Christ. Therefore, when counseling others, this is the first issue to be addressed. Every other issue is secondary. Whether the problem relates to marriage, child rearing, parental problems, depression, fear, or anything else, our goal must be to reflect and glorify Christ. A series of questions could be asked in order to ensure that the counselee has the proper goal. The following is just a sample:
- Are you submitting to God’s will in this difficulty, and attempting to see His purpose in it?
- Is your goal in this difficulty God’s glory, or simply your own relief and/or happiness?
- Are you willing to submit to God’s Word as we try to find a solution to this problem?
- Are you willing to change your life in accordance with the teachings of God’s Word?
- Are you honoring Christ and obeying Him during this difficulty?
- Do you have biblical goals for the other person/people involved (their salvation, growth, etc.)?
Liberty Baptist ChurchHelping People Change1
Helping People Change:
Lessons on Biblical Counseling
Lesson 2: The Qualifications of a BiblicalCounselor
Rom 15:14 And I myself also am persuaded of you, my brethren, that ye also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another.
Gal 6:1-2 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
“Mind your own business” is a prevailing attitude in our culture today. Many are unwilling to get involved with others’ problems. And in some cases, those who are willing to come to the aid of others do more harm than good. Christians cannot have an apathetic, insensitive attitude about others in need, especially those in their own church. This lesson will discuss the qualifications for those who would offer biblical counsel.
There is a Great Need for Biblical Counseling
Galatians 6:1 demonstrates that biblical counselorsare needed.
Individuals are often overtaken in a fault. The word “fault” means “a lapse, sin or misdeed; an offense, a fall.” This is not an innocent mistake; it’s a matter of disobedience. Someone in the church discovers that this sinful condition is genuine, not merely a rumor.The nature of this fault requires that others get involved to confront the offender and bring about a restoration.
Individuals are “overtaken,” or caught, in sinful activity. The word suggests being surprised by something. People are often surprised at how easily they “fall” into sin and how deeply sin affects their lives. A good example of this is King David.
Individuals in sin need to be restored. The word “restore” suggests mending or fixing something that is broken; to repair, complete, or equip.Because those involved in sinful behavior need to be restored, someone must get involved and encourage them in that direction.
Potentially, Every Christian Has the Capacity to Counsel
On a basic level, any Christian can offer biblical advice to anyone in need. Even those who are disobedient themselves may be able to communicate biblical advice. We recognize that every Christian has his own set of weaknesses and failures. We need not wait until we achieve some kind of Christian perfection to be qualified to offer assistance to others. If only the sinless came to the aid of those in need, precious little counseling would be done. People in need of change themselves are capable of helping others change. Whatever our spiritual maturity, we have a basic responsibility to help other believers when the opportunity arises.
“Ye Which are Spiritual” Are Competent to Counsel
Romans 15:14 and Galatians 6:1-2 demonstrate that God uses peopleto bring about restoration.The following is a description of those who are most qualified to counsel:
- Counselors should be “full of goodness.” Their objective is to do good, not harm. They have the right heart attitude; their intents and motivations are good. Their heart is in the right place.
- Counselors should be “filled with all knowledge.” That is, they have a good understanding of the person, his problem, and the biblical solution. The most important knowledge that a counselor has is the knowledge of theBible and sound theology. But he also has to understand the details of the problem and how to address it.
In Matthew 18:15-18, Jesus gives a description of how to confront a fellow believer. Notice the steps involved:
First, find out if a genuine “trespass” has occurred. The word used here is a generic one used of almost any kind of sin. Some offenses are best “covered” (Prov 10:12 “love covers all sins”) and forgotten. But other sins require a response.
Next, “tell him his fault between thee and him alone.” In other words, approach the offender privately and confront him about this offense. Two outcomes are possible:
1) “If he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.” That is, if he admits his sin and repents, that’s the end of it. In some cases, restitution might be necessary.
2)“If he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.” The witnesses are there to verify that 1) the sin is actually taking place, 2) individual has been confronted, and 3) he refuses to repent.
The third step is “tell it unto the church.” The entire congregation can try to influence the person to repent. Remember that church discipline procedures are private, family matters not to be discussed with non-members.
Finally, “if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.” In other words, those who refuse to repent are excommunicated from the church. The offender is considered to be an unbeliever.
At any point in the process, if the offender repents and deals with his sin biblically, the matter is dropped and things go back to normal (unless the nature of the sin prevents this).
Anyone involved in this kind of process must have an accurate understanding of the situation and how to proceed.
- Counselors should be “able to admonish.” As noted earlier, the word “admonish” suggests a verbal warning, instruction, or exhortation. Those who have the right to confront others have the obligation to do so.
- Counselors should be spiritual. Gal 6:1 – “ye which are spiritual restore such an one…”
- What Christian spirituality is not:
Extraordinary, rare, higher elevations of super-Christianity
Conformity to all the rules in the Bible; rule-keeping
Some mystical, secret experience available to only a fortunate few. E.g., dreams, tongues speaking, hearing voices, special feelings, promptings, “vibes,”intuitions, meditation, etc. Genuine spirituality is not merely having mystical experiences.
Christianity. All genuinely spiritual people are Christians, but not all Christians are genuinely spiritual. Being spiritual goes beyond being saved.
- What Christian spirituality is:
1 Cor 2:12-15 Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God. Which things also we speak, not in the words which man’s wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual. But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned. But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man.