The Wee Bannock in The Scots Leid by P4/4 Comely Park
Yince there wis an auld wumman wha warked in the cafe at Callendar Hoose. Her joab wis tae mak bannocks fer aw the toonies an veesitors fae nar an faur. Yin day the auld wumman hid tae mak bannocks fer a bus fou o stervin American veesitors. She makkit a muckle batch o bannock mixture yaisin pluffie sappie raisins an sultanas. The bannocks pappled an lowped as they fired on the griddle. The veesitors laid intae their bannocks an gutsed their tea, an aw wir fairly fou. Aw forby the bus driver- a gutsie man wi a tousie baird an mouser, but a baldie heid- who raxed ower the cafe counter tae huckle the last wee bannock. Afore the bus driver's haund raucht the wee bannock, it lowped up, glowered at the bus driver an gollered:
"I'm the wee bannock that lowped aff the plate
Ye tried tae grabble me, but ye were too late!"
The wee bannock run as fest as his tottie bannock shanks could cairrie him, ben the cafe and oot intae Callendar Park. He run by the Daft Gowf an the playgrund until he met an auld mannie an his dug. The auld mannie hud a wee swatch at the wee bannock an said," It's been at least 20 meenits sin I hud my brakefast; I hae a notion fer a wee sneyster richt noo. I think a wee bannock would do nicely!" As he said this, the auld mannie sterted tae rax oot fer the bannock.
The wee bannock keekit at the auld mannie an gollered:
"I'm the wee bannock that lowped aff the plate
Ye tried tae grabble me, but ye were too late!"
The wee bannock taen tae his heels oot o the park an up the stey brae untae he cam tae the Heich Station. At the yett the lang ticket inspector stapped the wee bannock an sayed,”Ticket please!”
The wee bannock keekit at the ticket inspector an replied, “But I dinna hae a ticket. I’m just a wee bannock. I want tae go tae Glesgae, but I canna pey for I hivnae got ony siller.”
“Nae bother,” sayed the ticket inspector, “I’ll jist snap ye up an I’ll gae tae Glesgae – ye can traivel in my wame!”
The wee bannock didnae lik this thocht. He run roon an roon the ticket inspector wha got in a richt fankle in the yett. The wee bannock laucht an liltit:
"I'm the wee bannock that lowped aff the plate
Ye tried tae grabble me, but ye were too late!"
The wee bannock run awa doon the brae untae he cam tae the Fawkirk Whurl. He wisna takin tent, an he accidentally breenged intae an airtist’s pent boax. The airtist hud been pentin a picter o the Fawkirk Whurl, an she wis bealin. The wee bannock wis happit in aw the colours o a roarie watergaw. The airtist leuked at the wee bannock an sayed, “Ye’ve guddled my pentin! Ye’ll hae tae pey the chairge.”
“I’ve no got ony siller – I’m jist a wee bannock!” sayed the pent plaistered wee bannock wi a greetin face. The airtist put doon her pentbrush an ettled tae wheech him awa. The wee bannock birled awa skirlin:
"I'm the wee bannock that lowped aff the plate
Ye tried tae grabble me, but ye were too late!"
The wee bannock lowped intae the Forth an Clyde canaul an hobbled an fleeted awa. On a suddentie, the wee bannock finit a rugg on his airm an he wis poued oot o the watter intae the air. As he hingit, he kent he hud been cleekit by a fushin heuk. He keekit doon an seen a skinnymalinky teenaged fisher at the end o the wan. The teenage fisher pirnit in the wee bannock an sayed, “Whit a sotterie wee bannock! I think I’ll yaise it as bait fur the fush. I micht git a better drave.”
The wee bannock lowped aff the heuk an squaiked:
"I'm the wee bannock that lowped aff the plate
Ye tried tae grabble me, but ye were too late!"
The wee bannock lowped tae his feet an run aff up the toun. The wee bannock skelped up the stane staps in the Heich Street, past the muckle stane cross an skited tae a stap afore the muckle widden doors o Fawkirk Auld an St. Modan’s Parish Kirk. Sklentin agin the door wis Mr. Allan the meenister, practeesin wi his box fur the scuil Hervest Service. Whan Mr. Allan seen the wee bannock he gyped an his box maned tae a stap. “Aw this muisic is makkin me hungert,” sayed Mr. Allan, “I wid luve a wee bannock fur forenoon piece!”
The wee bannock gecked at the meenister an skraiched:
"I'm the wee bannock that lowped aff the plate
Ye tried tae grabble me, but ye were too late!"
The wee bannock birled roond an hurled back doon the stane steps intae the Heich Street. He breenged through aw the grannies wha were oot daein their messages. They tried tae rammiegeester him wi their nibbie staffs an haunbags. The wee bannock sprunted ben the Howgate, smattered thru the gless doors an ootganged ontae the Pleasance. He pirled doon the Pleasance an dunted intae the traffic lichts at the grund o the brae.
The wee bannock minded his Green Cross Code tae saufly gae ower the road. In a gliff he skelped up the brae, ben the scuil yett an income tae Comely Park Primary Scuil’s playgrund. He waunnered roond the muckle pincils an the climin frame, by the Eco- scuil flag untae he foond the main ingang.
The wee bannock bizzed on the door wi his wee bannock fingirs, an Mrs. Thomson the secretar lat him in. He skrievit his nem in the veesitor buik an tiptaed by the Heidie’s office. The Heidie, Mrs. Collins, spreckelt him traivelin by an sayed:
“ I’m jist aboot tae gae on denner duty in the ha – can I introduce ye tae my freend Mrs. Wame, she’d lik tae mak freends wi ye!”
The wee bannock wis awfy feart, but he managed tae mummle:
"I'm the wee bannock that lowped aff the plate
Ye tried tae grabble me, but ye were too late!"
Then the wee bannock stottit through the door an skipped alang the loaby untae he income tae the denner ha. There he seen a helplie P4 dominie cried Miss Lucas hamelie ettlin tae red up the tickler o a missin piece. Puir, hungert, sodie-heidit an dowf wee Blair frae P4 hud nae notion whaur his piece wis – an his wame wis wammilin oot lood. Blair wis stervin an up tae high doe at the thocht o nae denner. He wis gey near greetin fur his ma! The wee bannock didna lik tae see puir, hungert, sodie-heidit an dowf Blair sae fashed. He decided tae gie him a haund!
The wee bannock treetled up tae the wee laddie an sayed:
"I'm the wee bannock that lowped aff the plate
Fowk tried tae grabble me, but they were too late!
Ye hae nae piece, but please dinna greet
insteid o feeling empty hae me fur a treat!”
Puir, hungert, sodie-heidit an dowf Blair brichtened up aw o a sudden. He wheeched up the bannock an laid intae him!
An that wis the feenish o the Wee Bannock!