EOC Constructed Responses: Examples of Good Responses and Those That Need Improvement
POETRY
Poem: “The Lost Ingredient,” Anne Sexton
Question: How does the author use tone and mood to support her theme?
Here is an example of a good response…
The past cannot fulfill your future. In “The Lost Ingredient,” the narrator tells of people who live empty lives because they cannot grasp upon things of the past. The message across the poem is that one cannot fulfill their everyday lives and move forward when they are living in the moments of the past. The narrator uses a detached tone and melancholy mood to support this message.
The narrator describes “gentle ladies…praying at last for impossible loves, or new skin, or still another child.” As the narrator describes the distant ladies living in the past, his detached tone emphasizes people live in the past. Furthermore, the sad mood is established as the narrator describes how the ladies “did not know what they had lost.” The melancholy mood supports the message of not being able to move into the future while grasping the past.
The characters in the poem are unable to move forward because they grasp the past. He narrator’s distant tone enables the reader to understand how living in the past can disable you from living in the present. Furthermore, the narrator’s melancholy mood as he describes the characters’ inability to move forward supports the theme of not being able to advance and move forward.
What makes this good?
What needs work?
Here is an example of a so-so response…
In the poem “The Lost Ingredient” by Anne Sexton, the author uniquely describes a character. This character is looking for fulfillment in life, and remembers past memories. The author definitely supports the theme; “Past Memories can dictate + affect our future,” with using tone and mood to support her passage.
In the poem, her tone describes how detached and how heartbroken she is from losing time to fulfill her life with past memories. One example that supports this is when she says “…waiting for the lost ingredient…” (22 – 23). That right there shows you that she is waiting to fulfill her life. The mood shows that we are to be sympathetic and empathetic for her. She might have had troubling past memories, but we feel lost and empty reading her poem. This is how we feel.
Since the theme is “past memories can help dictate and affect our future,” we know that is true for the poem. The author has emptiness. She wants to fulfill the life she had not fulfilled in the past. The tone and mood support the author’s feelings about her memories.
What makes this good?
What needs work?
Here is an example of a response that needs improvement…
In this poem she was writting about how she wishes she was young. In this poem she had a very specific tone & mood. In the poem he mood of it felt really reflective because she thought about when she was young and how she wished she lived life to the fullest. The tone of this poem was how she wants a second chance like how she wishes she has new skin. Many things run thru my mind when I was reading this poem but one thing that I know I will like my life to the fullest because it shows that she regrest it.
What makes this good?
What needs work?
Another one…
her tone & mood helped her support her theme because the tone is Longing & regretful & the mood is sympathetic…the old Ladies are Longing for something they are missing in thier Life. So they true & doll themselves up & Look nice so they can go out.
What makes this good?
What needs work?
Another one…
The tone of The Lost Ingredient is calm and emptiness. The mood is very neutral and sympathetic. Memories are very important and sometimes past experiences can determine how you view life.
Their are old ladies calmly thinking about their past memories. The author is referring back to the theme as past memories. “Each times I steal towards rites I do not know, waiting for the lost ingredient” says that the author’s past life can determine the way she views her life.
The tone, mood, and all connect together. They can rely in each other.
What makes this good?
What needs work?
FICTION
Selection from Fiction: Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte
Question: How does the author use setting to create the mood of the piece?
Here is an example of a good response…
In the excerpt from Jane Eyre, the titular character Jane is abused and degraded by her adoptive family. The sorrow filled, depressing mood is brought to the audience through the setting. By representing the cold lifeless day, one feels the hurt felt by the young narrator.
The author describes a cold November day with “the cold winter wind had brought with it clouds so somber, and a rain so penetrating…”. The detailed dreary day described gives the audience the sympathy for the young girl, when it seems her day will just not get better. She is also in a home with a woman favoring her other children, leaving Jane as a lonely child in her own home. The other children “…were clustered round their mama…looking perfectly happy,” while Jane is hiding behind curtains reading a book. The setting expresses the mood in a way that leaves the audience feeling helpless and sorry.
The life Jane lives seems to be unfortunate and cruel, and seemingly untouchable. The mood is presented by detailed symbols of helplessness, like the chilly November day and unwanting family.
What makes this good?
What needs work?
Another one…
The author uses setting to create mood within her story. Jane is the narrator in the story and we see that she is treated unfairly and coldly. In the setting, it talks about how cold it is in the beginning of winter.
We learn that the setting is a cold day in November when it is cloudy and raining. The author write, “the cold winter wind had brought with it clouds so somber, and rain so penetrating, that further out-door exercise was now out of the question.” The author further describes how she is not very compatable with the cold. This is almost like foreshadowing how Jane is not compatable with the Reed children.
As you can see, the cold, penetrating rain filled, setting is all a way to characterize the Reed family. They are all crule to Jane and not compatable , such as the weather is Jane. The mood I assume would be cruelty and cold. A feeling of being unwanted.
What makes this good?
What needs work?
Here is an example of a so-so response…
The dark and gloomy setting of Jane Eyre is used to create a very deppressing mood in the reader. The author trys to use the aspects of not only the physical setting, but also the mental setting of Jane’s mind.
The author attempts to make the reader feel sad and tormented as Jane is. The “cold winter wind” and the “leafless shrubbery” indicate how dark and traumatized Jane’s childhood was for her. The effect it had on her psychologically was devestating for her mind because though she was very intellegent child, she was bullied and treated like an insect.
Overall, the way the author describes Jane’s suffering so well and how it impacted her so greatly it helps illistrate the mood for the reader. The way that the reader can feel the impact as well shows the strength of the writing.
What makes this good?
What needs work?
Another one…
The setting sets a mood itself. The setting effects the mood of the story because it says how it is cold and dreary, leaving you feeling sad and gloomy.
The mood of this story is very depressing. The setting supports the mood by adding to the sadness to assure the mood of the story. A cold, dark, + dreary setting tells you right away the story is going to leave you or have you feeling sad.
The setting is very important and always sets some type of mood for the reader to feel. The cold and dreary November setting helps assure the overally sadness throughout the story.
What makes this good?
What needs work?
Here is an example of a response that needs improvement…
The author makes everything sound un appealing the weather, the People everything just seems sadning. The overall mood passed by the setting is just really gloomy & cloudy. It brings you down to read about all these things.
Now I don’t believe that the authors purpose is to bring his or her readers down. All that I am saying is its not pretty when reality is being thrown at you. Notice that ms reed talks about not being able to go outside because itsto cold & that she cantexersize because of it
The author defenetlywhants to put out a gloomy picture and shows the perspective of her characters & their problems
What makes this good?
What needs work?
NON-FICTION/INFORMATIONAL TEXT
Non-fiction Piece: “Abolishing the Penny”
Question: Provide the author’s counterargument for the arguments against abolishing the penny in the chart below.
Here’s an example of a good response…
Objection / Counterargument-Inflation would result / -The retailer puts a price of $39.99 to keep it looking low, if the penny is abolished the price would decrease to $39.95 in order to keep the belief “keeping the price low”
-People would pay more sales tax / -“Let all states and localities amend their sales taxes to round all tax bills to the next-highest nickel”
-The penny is part of our tradition / -“Rather than call in all the pennies and melt them…the government should simply announce that it is demonetizing the penny…and let collectors take many of the pesky coppers out of circulation.”
What makes this good?
What needs work?
Another one…
Objection / Counterargument-Inflation would result / -Merchants would not raise prices, making penny removal disinflationary.
-People would pay more sales tax / -Let all states and localities amend their sales taxes to round all tax bills to the highest nickel.
-The penny is part of our tradition / -Demonetize the penny.
What makes this good?
What needs work?
Here’s an example of a so-so response…
Objection / Counterargument-Inflation would result / -Inflation would not occur because if the merchants want to make money they will lower their prices.
-People would pay more sales tax / -People would not pay more sales tax because merchants don’t want the consumer to pay more than what the price was before.
-The penny is part of our tradition / -Though it is part of America’s tradition, what should we do when traditions cost us more money that we are actually making?
What makes this good?
What needs work?
Another one…
Objection / Counterargument-Inflation would result / -Not if the price was lowered to 39.95 instead of 40.
-People would pay more sales tax / -Round to the highest nickel (2.20 instead of 2.17)
-The penny is part of our tradition / -We don’t have to burn them, just not make them anymore.
What makes this good?
What needs work?
Here’s an example of a response that needs improvement…
Objection / Counterargument-Inflation would result / -The author says that inflation is occurring because of the penny.
-People would pay more sales tax / -The author said that the penny is causing us to pay more in sales taxes.
-The penny is part of our tradition / -The penny is not getting used at all for about a lot of people’s spending, that’s why you always see money on the ground.
What makes this good?
What needs work?
Another one…
Objection / Counterargument-Inflation would result / -In no more pennys and so you don’t have to worry
-People would pay more sales tax / -Well you really don’t have to worry about looking in your bag
-The penny is part of our tradition / -Even if it is wouldn’t you rather have something that DOESN’T take space
What makes this good?
What needs work?