If the Person There Was Too Old, They Threw Him out Too

RUTH WRITING PAGES

1. Introduction

2. Map

3. Germany: 1932 (check this)

A baby girl named Ruth Jacobsen was born. As her mother ran their family shoe store, her father traveled as a salesman. By 1935, Hitler demanded the shoe store to be sold for almost nothing.

One night in 1938, the landlady told the Jacobsens “You better not come home tonight” So they walked all night as Nazis tore apart every Jewish apartment they could find.

“If the person there was too old, they threw him out too.”

Ruth attended school in Düsseldorf. After about a week, the Nazi’s burned that down too.

“I was very happy. I didn’t want to go to school. But my parents were so traumatized that my happiness of course disappeared.”

4. A Dutch baron named Marcel brought Ruth’s family to safety in Holland with his wife and two daughters.

With lack of suitcases, wearing two layers of clothing, Ruth says, “I remember the fear of the Germans, going from train to train asking for papers. We had none. For some reason, they skipped us.”

For the next two months, Ruth lived in a 13th century castle, complete with a moat.

“From the worst to the best.”

5. 1940: Nazioccupies Holland.

Starting life in their own house, Ruth’s grandmother receive a letter from the Nazi’s to come sign something. She left and never came back.

“We heard after the war, that she and hundreds of others were gassed on the train to the concentration camp.”

On the bus one day, Hitler youth entered. Seeing Ruth’s yellow star, they demanded she give up her seat. “I was horrified, and then a women sitting further in the front pointed to her lap so I sat on her lap they whole way.”

“No one said a word. No one dared say anything to them. They were kids and had all this power.”

6. “When the barrenness gave me all those dolls, I didn’t know what to do with them. I had my doll Ellen from Germany. She came with me. So we decided we’d line them up in a row and we’d killed them all. And it was sort of normal. My doll Ellen was watching along with one other doll I had. We didn’t touch them. It wasn’t until much latter I realize, my god. But I never thought twice, ever.”

7. “I told my parents less and less pupils were coming to school. They said I could stay home and again I thought, how wonderful! But nothing was wonderful.”

“When we got the letter to come to the office to sign something, we knew it was the end.”

When it became too unsafe to remain in their home, Ruth and her parents were separated.

“My parents took my doll Ellen, and I didn’t know why. Years later I found out it was a typical German doll and if anyone had seen me play with it, that would have been it. For all these years I was angry at them.”

8. Ruth’s years of hiding began. As she moved from family to family without her parents, she had to take on a new identity. Since Ruth was a biblical name, she chose to be Truusje.

“I had to consciously remember that now I am going to be Truusje, and Ruth was another life. “

At one point I was a long lost cousin, my father was a policeman, my mother was in an insane asylum. I constantly was alert, I never lost it.”

9. While Ruth was hiding, she was able to visit her parents one weekend. Her parents were living in a very small attic.

”I resented my parents.” I was angry. I thought, I don’t want to be apart of this.”

One day either Ruth’s mother or father forgot to tiptoe to get to the bathroom. The kids living downstairs wanted to know what was up there. Their mother told them it was the boogieman. When they misbehaved, the mother would hit the ceiling and Ruth’s parents would walk. That’s all they could do.

“I was devastated. We never really talked about anything. I decided I hate them and I didn’t want to be their daughter. I read in the paper that this city was bombed almost out of existence. There was one big house still standing. That’s where my parents were. Then, I decided, I guess they are my parents after all.”

10. Air raids began in the area Ruth was living. Since she was in hiding, Ruth could not go to the shelter with the family she was living with.

“I was all alone. I didn’t know what to do. They had a cellar where they kept all the food. So I got in there and ate myself sick. When they were coming I was still throwing up. I realized, oh my god I probably ate all their food. I was scared but they didn’t say anything. I promised myself never to eat that much again, no matter what. I realized what my parents felt like.”

11. The Nazi’s came from house to house to pick up men, no matter who they were.

“All the men that evening ran out of the houses to the bushes. I saw people running. My father could barely run because he had no exercise. There were other people like that.”

The allied forces pushed the German solders back. They came in tanks.

“We were dancing around them. We could care less. We wanted them to come down so we could hug them. When more of them came they were allowed to come out and it was just the strangest, most unbelievable thing.”

12. “We had no house, we had nothing.” It was decided that the Germans still living in Holland should leave, so Ruth’s family moved into a new home. The daughter of the family, who had previously lived there, lived was across the street. She hated Ruth’s family. Ruth’ mother told her, “This is what war is. We lose something; they lose something. There is never any peace. There is never a good way.”

Finally, they moved and Ruth started Catholic school. She did not have the proper clothing and parents thought she was a whore and wouldn’t let their children play with her. Her mother told her, “Be different! You are different!” Ruth developed a whole new sense of pride.

13. Ruth’s parents never fully recovered. Her mother was always nervous and very depressed. Her parents didn’t get along. Her family hired a woman named Roosjeto take cause of the house. She started to have an affair with Ruth’s father while Ruth took care of her mother. Ruth’s mother had shock treatments twice a week and nearly had a heart attack.

14. Ruth teasedRoosjeuntil she was in tears. Her father protected Roosjeuntil Ruth said, “Either she goes or I do.” He told Ruth to go. Ruth and her mother always planned to immigrate to America. One day,Ruth’s mother received a letter from her sister saying, “Here in America, everybody is on their own. We all work. We can’t just do nothing here.” The letter and the shock treatments became too much for Ruth’s mother. She committed suicide. ”The police came to get me to identify her and I don’t remember seeing my father there. I remember walking with him later and everyone was looking at us. He said, be brave, hold your head up. I looked at him and got so angry. What has he done? How is he all of a sudden talking? From then on I didn’t have anything to do with him.”

15. Ruth received her visa, and decided to come to America by boat. She ate an apple everyday to avoid seasickness. Her first memory here was seeing the statue of liberty. “I saw something and I didn’t know what it was. There were all lights. It was Coney Island. I thought, “America is greeting me.” A woman came to find Ruth when her boat docked. Ruth hugged her, thinking she was family and was brought to her uncle and cousin.

16. In America, Ruth received her GED and tried many different jobs. She worked in factories making artificial flowers, and gluing the lining on handbags. She found herself a studio in the meatpackingdistrict and resided there for 10 years. This is when she found she could finally express herself with art, her passion. She became a textile designer for some time. Finally, Ruth became one of the first women projectionists and this became her lifetime career.

17. After Ruth retired from her job as a projectionist, she moved to her home in Southampton, NY with her partner. After forty years, she was able to look at her photo album from her childhood in Holland.

“I was afraid to open it. I didn’t want to see any more faces. Forty years later, I decided to do it. And it was okay. I couldn’t leave them in the album. They had to get out in the open. That’s when I started to do collages.”

Ruth went on to create a book entitled Rescued Images about her life as a hidden child. It has helped her to accept her past and move on to the future.