Caught’ya SentencesA Midsummer’s NightmareEnglish Grammar
1) 19 errors
this is the tale of love impending nuptials trickery mistaken identities passion and celebration which involves fairies sprites noblemen and hard-handed labourers that takes place in the ancient kingdom of athens greece where mens words were the law and women were subjugated to there will
2)16 errors
our jovial and mirthful story commences when theseus the duke of athens and his bride to be hippolyta the comely queen of the amazons was planning the pageantry for there forthcoming wedding
3) 10 errors
they were impatient as would be any red blooded middle aged couple for theyre nuptial day to arrive five days hence on may 1 1600
4) 7 errors
theseus had just ordered philostrate his master of revelry to devise some diversion to distract dippolyta and he until their wedding day
5) 24 errors
ah hippolyta my pert and noble bride to be let us marry with pomp and much reveling. in other words let us have a jolly good time of it too. yes my wise and noble mate to be you won me in battle you wooed me with your sword lets make a merry joyous thing of our wedding lets stop the strife and have a blast
6) 12 errors
and suddenly they were interrupted by the arrival of egeus and angry father who lay before his ruler his rebellious daughter and the 2 young men who professed to love her a prodigious problem
7) 15 errors
as egeus got angrier and angrier he explains that his daughter hermia a ball of fire is being wooed by two dudes lysander and Demetrius and she would not except his choice of the 2
8) 13 errors
my noble lord my most disobedient daughter hermia has been bewitched by Lysander Egeus said. this Lysander has sent her poems and love tokens and he has sung under her window feigning love and he has stolen her heart with presents and cunning he continued.
9) 10 errors
and in fact he has sent hermia so many trinkets she could open a gift shop and make a pretty penny this knave so convinced her that she defied me and gave me this note Egeus concluded his complaint as he brandished a short note under theseuss nose.
10) 20 errors
the letter read
dearest father
i can not except demetrius as my mate for my heart lies with lysander i will not abide being married to a man that i do not love
youre determined daughter
hermia
11)15 errors
After revealing the letter Egeus audaciously begged his ruler ah my duke he said I beg you to enforce the Athenian law which gives fathers’ absolute power over there wayward daughter’s. If Hermia does not wed Demetrius I may according to our law put her too death.
12) 13 errors
You wouldn’t. Me and Lysander love each other sobbed Hermia in palpable distress. You don’t understand what is between I and him. What do you have to say for yourself Hermia asked Theseus. Your father of course should be like a god to you.
13) 8 errors
i entreat your grace to pardon me for loving and beg you to tell me what may befall me if i refuse to marry Demetrius and my family will not give me its approval, and I do not want to carry any unwished yoke hermia beseeched.
14) 11 errors
well hermia your father has the right to put you to death or to send you to a convent away from all men if you do not obey his will returned theseus. You have until my and hippolytas wedding day to decide your own fate he concluded.
15) 22 errors
Hermia if you does not accept the man of my choice Egeus maintained grasping at the dukes second punishment then you will die unwed in a convent. Oh woe sobbed Hermia. Me and Lysander is like the classic tale of the star crossed thwarted lovers Romeo and Juliet. The course of true love never did run smooth adds Lysander.
16) 8 errors
Lysander politely argues that he was the equal of Demetrius, and that in fact Demetrius first had wooed another fair maiden Helena. Lysander continued to explain that Demetrius after winning Helena had jilted her like a odorous cad and than pursued Hermia. He abandoned poor Helena to her unrequited love.
17) 16 errors
This is worser than a soap opera like days of our lives Lysander loved Hermia and Demetrius loved Hermia and Helena adored Demetrius and Hermias father was a pig headed opinionated man who would never bend. This group of athenians were like a wild herd of warthogs with each animal running in it’s own direction.
18) 6 errors
Theseus then left with Hippolyta Egeus and Demetrius following him hearing enough of this lamentable families squabble and wanted to discuss business with Egeus and Demetrius. Lysander and Hermia are left alone.
19) 6 errors
Why are you so pale my love asked Lysander of his paramour. Among us we can solve this problem that effects us so profoundly. Your visage is so lovely.
20) 13 errors
Oh my sweet Lysander woe is i. Me and you cannot marry. My strict father will not allow it and i do not love Demetrius. i am in the same position as Juliet Hermia said again referring to that classic tail. I shall have to marry someone I do not love or spend the rest of my life in a convent. If only I was a boy she uttered with a sigh.
21)
i have a awesome idea said the intrepid shrewd clever lysander. my wealthy aunt has a abode outside the jurisdiction of athenian law. lets leave our respective homes in stealth meet in the woods and elope to my aunts house to be married. we will effect our own future.
22)
oh my dearest best most wonderfully gallant love I will meet you and we will wed said hermia.
23)
just then Helena the poor young lady whos love for Demetrius had come to naught appeared. Helenas lovely blond hair hung limp in her distress. Her usually tall figure stooped in sorrow and her natural timidity made her voice hesitant and faint.
24)
Now Hermia is Helenas best friend. Helena surprisingly bore no enmity for her friend which was supposed to marry the man she herself loved. In fact she beseeched hermia and lysander to tell her how to win Demetrius love.
25)
they tried to comfort Helena informing her of there plans to elope. Perhaps when we is wed Demetrius will turn his affection once again on you. If this does not work maybe between the three of us we can come up with a plan to transform him into a paragon of a suitor Hermia said. Helena than decided to inform Demetrius of the impending elopement so that she could go with him in pursuit of the 2 lovers. The plot thickens.
26)
While Theseus and Hippolyta anticipated their wedding celebration Hermia and Lysander planned there clandestine elopement and Helena plotted to win Demetriuss love a meeting took place in town at the house of peter quince the carpenter.
27)
quince and his cohorts nick bottom flute snug snout and robin starveling were divvying up parts and setting a time for a rehearsal for a short play they wished to perform in honor of Theseus and Hippolytas weding. This troupe of would be actors had trouble getting their act together.
28)
The planning of this amateurish play was hampered by the weaver nick bottom. He was the clumsy offensively bumptious man not known for lofty thoughts that tried to take over the meeting. While Bottom was cast as the hero in this “most lamentable comedy” he also said that he could play the part of the heroine.
29)
Let me play the heroine Thisbe said Bottom a man whose name fit his personality in a lovely falsetto voice. I can also play the part of the lion he growled trying to show his versatility and prowess as an actor for he wanted more parts bad. Grrr
30)
No bottom you will play no part but that of Pyramus the hero. Pyramus is a sweet faced man a proper man a most lovely gentlemanly man. This is why only you can play the part my confrere confided quince. You will play it so good.
31)
Finally the parts in the play the rehearsal time and the rehearsal place the very same woods where Lysander and Hermia planned to meet were all resolved. The rustic actors themselves at last were in agreement. The play was to be based on the story Pyramus and Thisbe a classic tale of tragic misunderstandings. The valorous but bucolic actors theirselves would make it a comedy.
32)
as all this was taking place the elfs and fairys frolicked in the forest. Yes the same forest where everyone else had planned to meet that evening. They awaited the arrival of Titania the queen of the pixies and her court.
33)
amoung the convened fairies in the forest was the seriously waggish elf puck that liked to play tricks on mortals non fairys in order to amuse his king Oberon. All is complicated by the fact that Oberon the pixie king was about to arrive in that same forest too.
34)
The king will frolic here tonight we must be careful to keep the queen from his sight. Oberon is full of wrath for the queen and she for him Puck warned the other pixies. I dont no which one is angrier. You are that knavish sprite Puck from who mortal maidens run in fear. You are the one who the town blames for all its mishaps. Being bad is youre favorite sport one pixie said.
35)
that is me boated puck. Oh we gots to get our kicks somewhere even with mortals. Mortals as they tell lugubrious tales and then fall off their stools provide alot of laughs.