2

Caroline has asked me to give you another presentation, this time on acronyms, and I thought this time I'd start with a little musical number. Some of you may remember the Major-General's Song from The Pirates of Penzance, which then was turned into a song about the periodical table of elements by Tom Lehrer. Recently, versions of that song have circulated sung by Daniel Radcliffe (now that he's finished being Harry Potter) and by Jim Parsons, who plays a character named after me on The Big Bang Theory.

Anyway, here goes a slightly different version by me:

There’s UBC and VOC and VST and Robocom

And CUS and AUS and GSS and Educom

There’s ESP and SRC and SOL and AGM

And F&B and UAC and IPF and VFM.

There’s ISA and LPC and CVC and Photosoc

And UNA and UEL and OCP and Aquasoc

There’s SUS and SUDS and AVP

And MoU and SRC

And SAC and CORP and SLC

And maybe even Fillimsoc

There’s GAP and DAP and CFS

And CASA and SLCC

And SUB and SEEDS and AMS

And also MASS and PSP

There’s BAGB and CiTR

And Metro and GVRD

And Rec and SASC and Unecorn

And also WOW and TRC.

[to the tune beginning There’s BAGB and CiTR]

These are the only acronyms that I could fit onto this screen

There may be many others, but I think I’ve picked the carcass clean.


And now a fairy tale.

Once upon a time a tired Unecorn[1] thought it should say its prayers, so it decided to go to MASS;[2] but on the way it decided to SUS[3] out what had happened to the ACF.[4]

First it asked the SEEDS,[5] but they didn’t know. Then it wandered into a BoG,[6] but no one could help it there.

“Perhaps they know at the AMS,”[7] someone said, so the Unecorn wandered over to the SUB[8], but no one there could help either, so it ended up down in the Pit drowning its sorrows in a MUG full of SUDS.[9]

Then it was so tired it thought it would hit the SAC[10] and it dreamed of going to an AGM to talk about Aquasoc or Photosoc. Then the dream turned troubling; it found itself falling into a deep GAP, which made it feel it should go to SASC. SASC cheered it up again and it felt so positive it decided to apply for an IPF grant to do something fun: advocating for a change in SOL rules.

When it awoke, it found it had grown so old[11] it would have to become a grad student and join the GSS. But on the way to the GSS building it met someone who said they had the power to interpret dreams.

“You must have ESP,” said the Unecorn.

“Better than that. I am an ESP, and I can tell you that the most practical thing for you to do is become a DAP student.”

So the Unecorn headed to Sauder. But before it could get there it fell into another deep sleep and dreamed of crimes and thought it should consult the CSI[12] or at least Educom or LPC. Or maybe SLCC.

“Or maybe,” it thought, “I should apply to get some money from CPAC.”

“It’s called Student Spaces now,” said someone from Fincom, “and it really shouldn’t be used for dream expenditures.”

So the Unecorn walked sadly away, thinking perhaps it should just go watch a movie put on by Filmsoc in the Norm. But on the way it saw people with signs.

“What’s going on?” it asked.

“It’s the referendum,” said an official looking person who said he was the EA. “It’s about selling the lodge in Whistler. That’s what BAGB recommended.”

“What’s a BAGB?” said the Unecorn.[13] “I’ve heard of honey bees and bumble bees, but a BAGB?”

“No, no,” said the EA, “it’s the Business and Administration Governance Board.”

“Oh,” said the Unecorn. “That sounds very intimidating, and why do you call it one thing when its name is really another?”

“Oh, it’s just to make things easier,” said the EA. “But I have to go now. I have a referendum to oversee.”

“It doesn’t seem easier to me,” said the Unecorn, but then an AVP came along and said, “Here, read this, and everything was made clear.”

“Wow,” said the Unecorn, and lived happily ever after.


APPENDIX 4: ACRONYMS

ACF: Arts County Fair

AGM: Annual General Meeting

AMS: Alma Mater Society

Aquasoc: the Aquatic Society, an AMS club which runs the scuba shop

AUS: Arts Undergraduate Society

AVP: Associate Vice-President

BAFCOM: Business and Facilities Committee (defunct AMS standing committee)

BAGB: Business and Administration Governance Board

BCIT: British Columbia Institute of Technology

BoG: Board of Governors

CACUSS – Canadian Association of College and University Student Services

CASA: Canadian Alliance of Student Associations (federal student association AMS used to belong to)

C+CP: Campus and Community Planning (UBC Department)

CFS: Canadian Federation of Students (the other federal student association)

CiTR: the student radio station

CORP: Committee for Organizational Review & Planning (1994 committee which produced a report that led to major AMS structural reorganization)

CPAC: Capital Projects Acquisition and Construction (old name for the AMS fund now called Student Spaces Fund)

CSHG: Canadian Student Horizons Group (group of student societies, including the AMS, which formerly owned part of Travelcuts)

CSI: Centre for Student Involvement and Careers (UBC body)

CUS: Commerce Undergraduate Society

CVC: Chinese Varsity Club

DAP: Diploma in Accounting program

EA: Elections Administrator

EC: Elections Committee

ECSS: Executive Coordinator of Student Services

Educom: the Education Committee (an AMS standing committee)

ESP: Enrollment Services Professional (UBC advisers)

EUS: Engineering Undergraduate Society

F&B: AMS Food and Beverage Department (the Pit, the moon, etc.)

Filmsoc: AMS Film Society (a club; it shows films in the Norm)

Fincom: the Finance Commission

GAP: Genocide Awareness Project (U.S. anti-abortion group)

GCC: Grad Class Council

GSA: Graduate Students Association (old name for the GSS; it currently still exists for certain legal purposes)

GSS: Graduate Students Society

GVRD: Greater Vancouver Regional District (the governing body for Greater Vancouver; now called Metro Vancouver)

IPF: Innovative Projects Fund (joint AMS-UBC project funded by AMS)

ISA: International Students Association (AMS club)

JV: Journal Voucher (used in AMS financial transactions)

LEAP: Learning Enhancement Academic Partnership Program (UBC program)

LEED: Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design (rating system for green buildings: LEED Platinum, LEED Gold, etc.)

LFS: Land and Food Studies (the former Agriculture Undergraduate Society)

LPC: Legislative Procedures Committee (AMS standing committee)

MASS: Meekison Arts Social Space (AUS social space for Arts students in Buchanan building)

MOA: Museum of Anthropology

MoU: Memorandum of Understanding

MUG leader: My University Group leader (guiding first years through orientations)

NSSE: National Survey of Student Engagement (U.S. survey of universities)

OCP: Official Community Plan (GVRD plan for campus development)

Photosoc: Photo Society (AMS club)

PSP: Pacific Spirit Place (University-run food court in SUB)

REC: UBC Recreation (includes Intramurals)

Robocom: Restructuring of Business Operations Committee (an ad hoc AMS committee)

SAC: Student Administrative Commission

SALA: School of Architecture and Landscape Architecture

SASC: Sexual Assault Support Centre

SEC: Student Environment Centre (an AMS student resource group)

SEEDS: Social Ecological Economic Development Studies (UBC sustainability program)

SFU: Simon Fraser University

SLAIS: School of Library, Archival and Information Studies

SLC: Student Leadership Conference (annual UBC-AMS conference)

SLCC: Student Life and Communications Committee

SLFS: Student Legal Fund Society

SOL: Special Occasion Licence (for alcohol functions)

SRC: Student Recreation Centre

SUB: Student Union Building

SUDS: Student Union Development Summit (annual conference at UBC, formerly the Student Union Development Symposium)

SUS: Science Undergraduate Society

TA: Teaching Assistant

TLEF: Teaching and Learning Enhancement Fund, a UBC fund

TRC: Truth and Reconciliation Commission

UAC: University Athletics Council or U-Pass Advisory Committee

UBC: University of British Columbia

UBCO: the Okanagan campus of UBC

UBCSUO: UBC Student Union – Okanagan (the student society at UBCO)

UEL: University Endowment Lands

UNA: University Neighbourhoods Association (non-student residents of campus area)

UNBC: University of Northern British Columbia (Prince George)

Unecorn: University and External Relations Committee (an AMS standing committee)

U-Pass: the universal transit pass for UBC students

UVic: University of Victoria

VFM: Voter-Funded Media (old name for the contest for media covering AMS elections; now called VoterMedia)

VOC: Varsity Outdoors Club (AMS club)

VST: Vancouver School of Theology, a college affiliated with UBC

WOW: Whistler Orientation Weekend for new Council members, commissioners, etc.

WUSC: World University Services of Canada (its UBC branch is an AMS club)

[1] Picture of a unicorn, alongside a committee labelled University and External Relations Committee.

[2] Cathedral / the Meekison Arts Student Space

[3] Science Undergraduate Society photo

[4] photo of Arts County Fair (labelled as such), with its dates

[5] seeds and UBC SEEDS program

[6] bog/ Board of Governors

[7] Alma Mater Society; our logo perhaps?

[8] photo of SUB

[9] beer/a MUG leader/Student Union Development Summit

[10] bed picture/something indicating Student Administrative Commission/clubs etc.

[11] old-looking unicorn

[12] Gil Grissom/centre for student involvement

[13] pictures of bees