Time out for Parents – The Early Years

Keys to encouraging attachment

Learning outcomes:

At the end of this session, parents will be able to:

  • Identify ways to develop attachment/bonding between parents and children
Equipment needed
  • Flip chart paper and marker pens

Talk about

“Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects oneperson to another across time and space.”

(Ainsworth 1973 and Bowlby 1969)

This bond lays a secure foundation for the child’s development throughinto adulthood.

So how can we encourage attachment with our child?

Go through the following points, and ask parents for suggestions of whateach one might look like in practice.

Make yourself available

  • Children want to trust and rely on you.
  • It helps if you are physically available, you may need to build special timeinto your day.
  • Try to be mentally/emotionally available too, attentive and focusedon them.

Respond to the signals your child gives

  • Attend to your child’s physical needs.
  • Try to read your child’s language, e.g. crying, hands out, holding arms upto be picked up.
  • Tune into your child and recognise when he/she needs to be held, needs
  • to talk, needs to play, needs changing, is tired and needs a rest.

Respond quickly and appropriately to their needs

  • Children learn trust when someone responds promptly and consistentlyto them.
  • For example, if they cry because they are hungry, feed them; if theysmile, smile back.
  • Babies learn to interact – sounds, cries, facial expressions and bodylanguage are all the ways a baby tries to communicate. Responding tothem encourages them to try again and to learn social interaction.
  • Be warm, positive and caring
  • Be nurturing and caring.
  • Even when changing a nappy – be positive and gentle, talk to them, givethem eye contact.
  • Give children love, affection and touch abundantly.

Follow your child’s lead and cooperate with them in how they playand interact

  • Don’t force them to follow the way you want to do it.
  • Provide opportunities for interaction; play “peekaboo”, chasing, tickling.
  • Be responsive, not demanding.
  • Avoid overstimulating your child as you interact
  • Know when to stop!
  • Respond to their cues (babies may look away, squirm to get away or cry).
  • They may need to be left quietly to calm down, sleep or be held quietly.

Break into three small groups.

Using the ideas just discussed, ask:

  • one group to discuss ways of building attachment through touch,
  • onethrough speech, and
  • one through meeting physical needs.

Then comeback as a whole group to feed back their summaries. Write their ideas onthe flip chart.

Summarise the discussions and any important points that have been raised.

In the next session we’ll be looking at why children’s play is important and ways we can support play.

1© Copyright Care for the Family 2015