MOTIVATING THE ELEPHANT
One of my favorite songs and movie is the “Way We Were” with Barbara Streisand. Every time I hear that song I cry! I cry because I remember the end of the movie but I also cry because it triggers memories of significant events – like breaking up with my first real boyfriend. And although I am way over him, the song helps me remember the emotions that I experienced then. It puts me back in touch with all that I felt at that significant time in my life. So, I become filled with emotion and I cry! Now, some of you may say – gee Margaret, I didn’t know you were that sappy. Well, I don’t think I’m sappy – I just think that I am in touch with my emotions.
Emotions play a big part in change. Think about the major changes that have occurred in youth ministry in the last decade or so. What was this ministry like when you started? How has it changed and how do you feel about those changes? Think about it and then share your reflections with one other person.
[Small group sharing – no more than 2 minutes]
As we talk about change, emotions/feelings play a huge role. In fact, we don’t move unless it feels right. In our Rider/Elephant/Path analogy from the book “Switch”, the elephant represents our emotions. The authors contend that change happens successfully when the change speaks to people’s emotions. How does this happen, we must first See-Feel-Change! One of the examples used in the book is about a man they called “Attila the Accountant”. Attila was the head of accounting for the Department of Youth Services (DYS) in Boston. DYS dealt with delinquent kids in halfway houses and group homes. Attila ruled his department with an iron fist. He was meticulous about following the rules. If someone submitted an expense report and left off a single detail, like a date, instead of filling in the information, Attila would return the report to the halfway house or job center, delaying their reimbursement until they were able to send in a perfect report. Now, we all know that most of these non-profits are working on a shoe string budget, robbing Peter to pay Paul, and any delay in reimbursement could literally shut them down. Of course the agency directors talked to him but he would not budge – the rules were the rules.
In order to get Attila to change, the directors took him on a tour of the group homes and job and counseling centers that were submitting the reports. He saw firsthand how busy they were and how distracting the workplace was. Attila saw and felt the precarious financial situation of these nonprofits. He realized that holding up one of their checks meant that the house could not buy food or pay for one of the kid’s doctor visit. Attila got a “gut-check” about the harm he was causing. Consequently he changed his ways.
Attila had to first “see” which made him “feel” which prompted him to “change”.
Who is the “Attila” in your world? If you took that person on a tour of your ministry what would that look like? Please share your response with one other person but not the person that you spoke to previously.
[Small group sharing – no more than 2 minutes]
[reading of Road to Emmaus, Luke 24:25-32, Breaking of the Bread]
On the road to Emmaus – the two were walking along feeling sad, disappointed, afraid and maybe even a bit angry. And along comes Jesus and he presents them with a different way of looking at the events. He presented them with evidence that made them feel. His explanation hit them on an emotional level. And then he performed a ritual that they knew well – something that tapped into old feelings and made them remember – sort of like what the song, “The Way We Were” does for me. And in remembering they were able to “see” Jesus. They not only remembered who he was but they also remembered who they were because of him.
The Heath brothers call this motivating the elephant by finding the feeling! Because of the uncertainty that change brings, the Elephant is reluctant to move and analytical arguments never seems able to trump the gut feeling. The Elephant has to feel confident that it is capable of conquering the change. This confident feeling can be achieved by what the Heath brothers call shrinking the change or growing the people!
Shrinking the change is exactly what it sounds like. It is making the change appear smaller. When we look at what needs to be done to make change happen – it looks enormous. So we need to look at it one piece at a time. Don’t focus on the end result – focus on the next step that will get you to the end result.
On the road to Emmaus, Jesus broke open the scriptures but he did not add – I am the Risen Christ and I want you to go and take my message to the ends of the earth. There will be those who will hate you and you may even die in the process! If you don’t do this all of humanity will be lost!
Explaining his entire mission, at that point in time, would have been a bit much for the disciples to take in. Instead, all he did was remind them of what they already knew. It was easier for them to focus in on this small part of the mission and in so doing they could decide which way they wanted to go.
The Heath brothers contend that “we essentially ask ourselves three questions when making decisions that lead to change: ‘who am I? What kind of situation is this? And what would someone like me do in this situation?’” These questions gives the person facing change the ability to become bigger than the change itself. For instance, after the breaking of the bread the two disciples seemed to understand that they were (1) disciples of Christ; (2) who had just encountered the Risen Lord and (3) as disciples of Christ they had to spread the good news! When they had started their journey to Emmaus, they thought that all was lost and they felt small and insignificant. After encountering Christ, their “hearts were burning” and they felt capable of returning to Jerusalem – the mission was no longer impossible.
In order for change to happen successfully, the Elephant has to keep moving! So, as agents of change we must help the elephant: find the feeling (like Attila), shrink the change (as Jesus did when he broke open the scriptures) and grow the people (like what happened when the disciples hearts were burning and they realized that the mission was not impossible).
Georgina asked you to identify one thing that you wanted to change. What are the emotions attached to this change? In what ways can you shrink the change or grow the people in order to help the elephant embrace this change?
[Remainder of time spend in small groups of 2 or 3 addressing this question]