Now Things I Noticed on These First Out-Of-Class Essays

Literary Analysis Correction

Literary analysis is different from any type of writing you have done on a regular basis; there is nothing in it about your feelings or experiences, nor is there anything creative in it. This type writing will, however, prepare you to objectively analyze a topic and prove your opinion of it with evidence which can be a useful tool in many careers and life in general. But, the trick to analysis is to decide on your opinion and then argue that opinion with evidence from the text and be able to explain how that evidence supports what you have to say.

There are some hard and fast rules to analysis, at least in room 522, that you will need to abide by to get the best grade. College professors may have other rules; with professors, like bosses, figure out what expectations they have and then meet them. In room 522, there are NO personal first or second person pronouns in a formal essay unless these pronouns are part of a quote. This means no I, you, me, we, us, your, my. Do not refer to the reader; for example, “Things will get better if you leave your previous life behind.” Second, quotes CANNOT be used as a sentence alone in your essay. Do not use an author’s words to write your paper. You must include the quote, in a concise way, within your own sentence. Finally, any time, at all, you use a quote you must include a citation: the author’s last name and the page number the first time; only the page number after that if you don’t change authors. These numbers come after the quote. If there are two quotes in one sentence, use two citations. It is better to over cite than under. Under leads to questions of plagiarism. And, on a related thought, it is really not a good idea to argue a point about literature and then use no words from the text to support what you say. You need some quotes.

Now things I noticed on these first out-of-class essays:

You don’t have a firm grasp of the semicolon. For the most part, if you can put a period between two independent clauses (sentences) you can put a semicolon. There has to be a complete thought on both sides of a semicolon. For example: “No one sees her pain, her thought processes; she was not going to let Schoolteacher treat her children as animals too.”
You don’t have a firm grasp on the comma either, but let me say that you don’t have to use a comma just because you take a break or need a pause. You will be given a list of times to use a comma. Look over it, and if you cannot see a rule for using a comma, don’t use one. For example: “The death of Baby Sugg’s children affected her towards the end of her life, making her depressed, and unable to find happiness in few things. When you are a slave, what defines life, when you live it as someone else’s property?” What is the rule for these commas? What can I do with the you?
Pronouns  A pronoun usually refers to the noun which comes before it. Therefore, when you use the word she repeatedly in a sentence and you don’t mean the same female all the time, things can get confusing. For example:
“Sethe felt like somehow she had to pay her daughter Beloved back for what she did to her. Instead of giving her enough love she did more. She spoiled her and tolerated the temper tantrums she would have. She loses her job and sacrifices her own need of eating.” Underline the shes in the sentence which refer to Sethe.
“However, Sethe’s plan to keep Beloved safe and happy backfires. She quits her job and neglects her last living daughter, Denver, and the family slowly starves. Sethe partakes in this irresponsible behavior in the attempt to keep Beloved. She is so concerned with hanging on to the past, she didn’t realize, nor did she care.” Underline the shes in the sentence which refer to Sethe.
I know many of us are Southern, but no one really is going to “try and do anything.” For example: “Sethe runs to the woodshed and begins to try and take her own kid’s lives.” Is she trying and taking or is she trying to take? One other issue in that sentence- how many kids did she try to kill? How many are in “kid’s”?
Air quotes do not translate to paper. If you are using a word as something other than its definition you italicize it; notice what I did with she in number 3. Quotes are only needed when you are quoting another person’s words. Slang terms can be italicized, not quoted. Slang terms are not welcomed in formal essays.
With quotes:
Quotes have to be reworked to fit into the context of your essay. They cannot change in tense or person. Words which need to be changed are put in brackets [ ]. For example: “This is why the night Beloved enters the shed and asks him to “touch me on the inside part and call me my name” (137). Me doesn’t refer to the essay’s writer, so change the pronoun: “touch [her] on the inside part and call [her by her] name.” Notice that the period goes after the parenthesis.
Quotes CANNOT be used alone, but they also require some explanation. Don’t use a quote even if you do it well and then expect the reader to just figure out how it relates to your essay. Explain.
Please know the correct time in which you should use in which. “Beloved forces Sethe to remember the foul homicide….and begging for answers in which Sethe just can’t seem to provide.”
It-the word you love. IT is a general term. Don’t overuse it. It makes it difficult to fully understand it when it is used repeatedly in it. Get my point?
“The real question is is a second chance really worth it”? [notice the placement of the ? If a whole sentence is a question the question mark is outside; if only the quote is a question it is inside. Commas and periods are always on the inside. ! same as ?]
“From all the things Sethe does throughout the novel it portrays her as being a bad mother.”
“It could be inferred that she uses her experience to shape the identity she would have.”
Stop with the one. One is as worrisome as you and it. Figure out what one refers to and use that word, or rework your sentence to get rid of the need for the singular pronoun. If you must use one, don’t make one plural a few words later: One is not sure about their life. Oh, and if their has a life, their must have lives.
“Do one’s actions determine their identity?
“Is one supposed to let their past determine their identity?”
“What if the daunting past of one were presented in one’s future?”
Parallelism is using words or phrases in a similar manner.
“It does not matter if people or places are no longer standing or alive.”
“Morrison shows readers that one’s identity is not defined by the past but rather one’s acceptance of it.” Reworking this sentence can clear up many of our problems. Morrison shows readers that identity is not defined by the past but rather by the acceptance of the past. What have I changed?
Finally, many of you were perplexed by asking a question in a question or statement: “The vital question is how does love play a role into the individual one becomes?” The vital question is how love plays a role in becoming a character becoming an individual.

Things that made me smile.

Good topic sentence: “From the beginning of the novel, Sethe is isolated and looked down upon by her community because of her association with a literal and figurative ghost.”

Good incorporation of quote: look at 6a. “When Paul D first goes into Sethe’s house a strange light greets him and he backs out and says, “What kind of evil you got there?” (10)

If you want to redo this essay or just get a few points back, complete this sheet and turn it in with your essay. To rewrite it and have your grade start again, complete this sheet and turn in a new essay with the old one attached. This is due by Friday, March 14 and is completely optional.

Read your introduction and write or cut and paste your thesis here. Explain in other words what your paper is going to prove.
Do the following for each body paragraph.
Write/cut & paste the topic sentence. Explain in other words what your paragraph is going to prove.
List the textual evidence you have to support your topic sentence.
Either cut/paste your elaboration of your evidence or write the elaboration if you find none. If your elaboration is no longer than one sentence, expand upon it.
Write/cut & paste the sentence which summarizes the paragraph and transitions to the next paragraph. You may not have the transition in the final body paragraph.
Eliminate any philosophy from your conclusion, i.e. you have to get beyond your past to have a future.
When you have found all these things, highlight them in different colors in your essay. This will allow you to see what you had and didn’t have.