Describing Emotional Intelligence

Describing Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence is a commonly used term but what exactly is it and why is it important for people in the workplace?

Although IQ (Intelligence Quotient) is considered as an important indicator of a person’s ability it is also well established that IQ is not on its own a reliable predictor of how well a person succeeds in life. Many people with high IQs do not necessarily have successful or happy lives and many people with low IQs do extremely well – so IQ should not be thought of as providing the ‘full picture’ of a person’s value in the workplace.

In seeking to explain what else we should take into account the concept of ‘Emotional Intelligence’ took shape and is a recognition that other emotional or interpersonal skills are just as important, if not more so in some situations, in judging a person’s worth or ability.

An ability to work in a team, to interact well with others, to understand other people’s feelings and react appropriately to them are all vital to success. Research has shown that top flight managers have a high Emotional Intelligence Quotient (or EQ) and that it is this measure, rather than IQ, that provides the more accurate prediction of how successful people are in their careers – and life in general.

In many ways this might seem obvious as managers and leaders need to interact well with people. They need ‘people skills’ but they do not necessarily need ‘specialist skills’ (as they have specialists, with high IQs, to work for them). The manager’s task is to coordinate and manage these specialists who in turn do not necessarily need strong ‘people skills’. We are all aware of the stereotyped ‘absent-minded professor’ or the ‘computer buff’; both of whom have high IQs but do not interact particularly well with other people – and do not score very highly on the EQ scale. However, many people score highly on both.

Recognition of Emotional Intelligence has increased in part because of a move in the way organisations are structured and the way they value their personnel. There are fewer than ever organisations with management hierarchies where the opportunity exists for a more authoritative approach to people management. A once deferential workforce can no longer be managed by an irascible, dictatorial, bullying boss!

There are also fewer ‘jobs for life’. For various reasons people regularly change jobs and regularly re-locate. Being flexible, adapting easily to new situations and relating quickly to new teams have become all-important skills that organisations look for in their recruits and develop in their interpersonal skills training programmes.

A major factor in our lives is stress – which can be work-related and which may induce deep feelings and emotions. Being ‘emotionally intelligent’ can help reduce stress in oneself and help others to reduce theirs. Learning for example to express feelings in a positive way, or to see things from another person’s viewpoint requires a degree of emotional intelligence that can significantly reduce stress levels at work.

As well as all the tangible aspects of the manager’s job description, he or she also needs good ‘people skills’ – the ability to work with others, rather than against them; the ability to bring people together, to anticipate their needs, acknowledge their feelings, aspirations and achievements.

At the same time a modern workforce needs to demonstrate flexibility, to cope with diversity and readily adapt to new ideas and procedures

Success at Work and in Life

One pressing reason why the subject of Emotional Intelligence has gained much attention is the growing body of evidence (easily accessed on the internet) for the strong correlation between a person’s EQ score (Emotional Intelligence Quotient) and their general success in life. Although difficult to quantify, people with high EQs tend to do well in terms of:

·  personal achievement

·  happiness levels

·  success at work

‘Success’ in terms of these three indicators appears to have less to do with how ‘bright’ we are and more to do with how we:

·  manage our own behaviour

·  navigate social complexities

·  make personal decisions

EI Skills

It is impossible to divide aspects of human behaviour into exact categories but broadly speaking we can think of emotionally intelligent people as scoring highly in the following:

Personal Attributes Inter-Personal Attributes

·  Self Awareness ● Empathy

·  Self Regulation ● Social Skills

·  Self Motivation

Personal Attributes

The first group (self-awareness, self-regulation and self-motivation) relate to how we understand and deal with our own emotions.

Emotions are not random feelings. They are human responses triggered by day-to-day events and situations we find ourselves in. They serve an important and useful purpose but also need some level of control applied to them. For example, the so-called ‘fight or flight response’ triggered when danger is perceived could be a life-saving response (particularly for Stone Age hunter-gatherers) but may not be so useful when, for example, you have just been pulled over for speeding.

The point here is that day-to-day situations trigger emotional responses in us and if we always follow our instinctive or natural response, the effects are not necessarily in our best interests – and can be unhelpful and even destructive.

1.  Self-Awareness

We need to be able to recognise when an emotion is aroused, what that emotion is and why it has been triggered. Only then can we work out how we should respond.

But reacting in a more rational way rather than ‘flying off the handle’ requires a certain degree of self-awareness. With this awareness comes the ability to direct the response behaviour in a positive way.

Being self-aware requires:

·  a strong sense of self-worth and identity

·  being aware of your own values

·  knowledge of your own strengths and weaknesses

·  recognition of your own emotions

People with such qualities are described as emotionally mature. We all know that immature people without these skills are more difficult to live and work with, and create more problems. They may include those people at work that we sometimes label as difficult people. To varying degrees they have ‘personal problems’, they don’t take control of their lives, they get into difficulties, they lack self-belief and blame others and they do not know their own limits.

Adolescents, coping with the transition from childhood to adulthood go through periods where they are particularly unsure of themselves and they tend to display some or all of these ‘difficult people’ characteristics. They are a good example of the type of person who has not yet achieved self-awareness. Emotional maturity tends to go with age but this is not always the case. Children can show great emotional maturity and fully-fledged adults can display very ‘immature’ behaviour.

2.  Self-Regulation

Self-regulation is the second building block of emotional intelligence. Being aware of emotions is the first step, as discussed, but we also need to act on that awareness by having the ability to control or manage our emotions.

Lack of control can result in open displays of irritability and anger that can be disruptive and upsetting. Being aware that you want to punch the boss is one thing; making sure you don’t is another. Controlling our response to emotions should not be total. Instead we need to regulate our response so that it is in proportion, measured and helpful – rather than confrontational, rude or destructive.

One way of doing this is to ensure that there is a pause between feeling an emotion and acting upon it. Counting to ten is a common prescription to avoid instantaneous reactions which could be unfortunate. We have probably all received an email that made us see red and have dashed off an unconsidered reply that only served to make things worse – and which we later regretted. Delaying the response can often help us get our original emotion in perspective and allow us to adopt a more reasoned approach. Sleeping on it and pouring oil over troubled waters are useful reminders of the importance of exercising a degree of self-control.

Being self-regulating requires:

·  standards of honesty, integrity and trustworthiness

·  conscientiousness

·  taking responsibility for one’s personal performance

·  being flexible and responding well to change and different way of doing things

·  being innovative

These issues, together with our basic personality traits, define who we are and how we relate to others. They are a key part of developing good interpersonal skills.

3.  Motivation

The third component of these personal attributes that make us emotionally intelligent relates to how good we are at achieving our goals (assuming we have any).

Being self-motivated requires:

·  achievement drive

·  commitment

·  initiative

·  optimism

Emotionally intelligent managers have a high level of self-motivation and are therefore in a good position to motivate their staff – a key management skill. They will have the drive to improve and do better and will strive to achieve standards of excellence. This idea forms the basis of continuous improvement and total quality policies where the emphasis is on encouraging all individuals to strive themselves for the total elimination of sub-stand work.

When we lack these self-motivating qualities we are often described as lacking confidence, lazy, uninterested, pessimists, negative. We may be unwilling to adopt new ideas, find barriers rather than solutions, we can be ‘complainers’ or ‘negativists’ and can bring down other members of the team.

Typical comments from people lacking self-motivation might be:

·  We’ve tried that before

·  It’ll never work

·  I’ve seen all this before

·  Nothing’s going to change

Emotionally intelligent staff have a much more optimistic outlook and are able to overcome setbacks and carry on in a positive frame of mind using their own initiative to solve problems and move forward.

Inter-Personal Attributes

This set of attributes that describe the emotionally intelligent person focus on social competencies – or how we manage our relationships with other people.

1.  Empathy

Empathy is about putting yourself in other people’s shoes. It is our ability to identify mentally with another person and so understand his or her feelings. It is a key interpersonal skill and when we lack empathy at work it can cause all kinds of problems. Whether we are dealing with customers, suppliers, bosses or staff we need to show empathy by seeing things from both our own and their point of view – their perspectives and their concerns.

If, for example, you do not recognise the pressures your boss may be under then you may not be able to cope easily with directives you are receiving and which you may have to pass on in a positive way to your staff. If you do not put yourself in your customer’s shoes then you will perhaps be unaware that the customer could be about to place her order with another supplier as her call to you remains unanswered.

Showing empathy at work will help in:

·  developing others (staff)

·  meeting customer needs

·  developing an understanding of diversity in the workforce

·  being ‘politically’ aware

2.  Social Skills

The final attribute in this categorisation of emotional intelligence is the ability to respect ‘where another person is coming from’ – in order to communicate well, relate well to them and be influential.

Social skills allow you to recognise potentially de-stabilising situations before they happen and enable you to deal with them assertively (rather than aggressively). Conflict can arise if we are too passive (and use avoidance techniques) or if we are too confrontational (and use an overtly aggressive approach). It is important to deal with issues in a balanced and open way using empathy and awareness towards the ‘other person’ to make a positive outcome much more likely.

If, for example, an issue is going to be particularly difficult to resolve, the emotionally intelligent person will take a few minutes to think about how they will handle the conversation before rushing in to a possible confrontation. What exactly will they say and what will they not say? What do they want from the other person? What are they themselves to do to resolve the situation? What would be the best outcome for all concerned?

Using Social Skills at work helps in:

·  having respect for others

·  actively listening to the concerns and ideas of others

·  resolving conflicts and seeking harmony

·  demonstrating leadership

·  initiating and managing change

·  being a positive team member, able to collaborate with others.

The Good News

Unlike IQ, EQ can change throughout our life and we actually improve our emotional intelligence by appreciating what it is, and using it to enhance our individual performance and our relationships with others – at work and in life in general.

Find Out More

The Emotional Intelligence quick Book Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves

Emotional Intelligence Daniel Goleman

Working with Emotional Intelligence Daniel Goleman

Emotional Intelligence Pocketbook Margaret Chapman