Washington S the First One

Presidents

Washington’s the first one

I’m pretty sure

After that I have no clue

Tyler or a Taylor

Pierce or a Polk

James Buchanan, who are you?

I remember Lincoln

The rest are a blur

Never been that good with names

Sixteen different fellows

Hard to keep straight

Three named John and four named James

Presidents, presidents, presidents

The first sixteen – who were those gents?

Presidents, presidents, presidents

The first sixteen – who were those gents?

Time we started thinkin’

‘Bout Washington to Lincoln

We haven’t got an inklin’ ‘bout the presidents.

Precedent for President

You set the precedent for president

You set the tone for all to come

How to veto, what to sign

How to keep the Veep in line

When to bargain, when to fight

How to wear a wig just right.

Washington(spoken): I did look pretty good, didn’t I?

You set the precedent for president

You set the tone for all to come

How to nuance and finesse

An inaugural address

The job’s tiring and it’s tough

And so two terms are enough

Just say no

to permanent alliances

Don’t make treaties that can lead you into war

Just say yes

To politic neutrality

And then settle back and have another s’more!

You set the precedent for president

You set the tone for all to come

How to veto, what to sign

How to keep the Veep in line

When to bargain, when to fight

How to wear a wig just right.

How to nuance and finesse

An inaugural address

The job’s tiring and it’s tough

And so two terms are enough

You set the precedent for president.

Four Years

Boys:

Four years

I used my clout

No war

I kept us out.

I said

We wouldn’t shoot

Four years

Then I got the boot.

Girls:

Johnny oh Johnny

You are the best

Johnny oh Johnny

Now give it a rest

Though you’re a slow learner

My love can’t be firmer

My sweet single-termer

I still love you

Boys:

Four years

I had big plans

Too bad

I had no fans

I tried

Hard not to pout

Four years

They voted me out!

Girls:

Johnny oh Johnny

You are the best

Johnny oh Johnny

Now give it a rest

Though you’re a slow learner

My love can’t be firmer

My sweet single-termer

I still love you

My sweet single-termer

I still love you.

We’re Gonna Party

The framers of the constitution

All hoped we’d get along

The framers got a lot just perfect

But this one they got wrong.

They thought that we would work together

And rule in harmony

But really there is just one item

On which we can agree.

You are the bad guys

We are the good guys

The world is split in two

We’re gonna party

Come on and party

And may the worst one lose!

We’re gonna party

And may the worst one lose!

We need a government with power

Its strength should be increased

The government is best I’m certain

That governs us least.

Let’s make our policies pro-business

The farmer is our man

We like the French

We love the British

It’s you I cannot stand!

You are the bad guys

We are the good guys

The world is split in two

We’re gonna party

Come on and party

And may the worst one lose!

We’re gonna party

And may the worst one lose!

Our two parties have just one thing we’ve concurred

Our two parties know that we don’t need a third.

You are the bad guys

We are the good guys

The world is split in two

We’re gonna party

Come on and party

And may the worst one lose!

We’re gonna party

And may the worst one lose!

We’re gonna party

And may the worst one lose!

Man, He Loves This Job

The federal bureaucracy needs to be cleansed

Man, he loves this job

I’ll fire them all and appoint all my friends

Man, he loves

Man, he loves this job

The supreme court is saying things I think are wrong

Man, he loves this job

So I just ignore ‘em and move right along

Man, he loves

Man, he loves this job

Ooohooohoooh

All the Latin he knows is “E Pluribus Unum”

I don’t listen to congress so come boys let’s shoo ‘em

The people all love me and I love them back

Man, he loves this job

My cabinet didn’t – I gave them the sack

Man, he loves

Man, he loves this job

My critics all call me King Andrew the First

Man, he loves this job

But what I call them is eleven times worse

Man, he loves

Man, he loves this job

Ooohooohoooh

His Jacksonian Democracy brought people plenty

So it’s my face you see when you look at a twenty.

The federal bureaucracy needs to be cleansed

Man, he loves this job

I’ll fire them all and appoint all my friends.

Man, he loves

Man, he loves this job.

He loves this job.

Manifest Destiny

We bought Louisiana

In eighteen hundred three

Expanded to the Rockies

And that is fine with me.

And then we annexed Texas

Just before Polk’s term began

And when he entered office

He’d come up with a plan

Coast to coast

Sea to sea

It’s called manifest destiny

Coast to coast

And sea to sea

We are movin’ west

Don’t ask if it’s best

Manifest destiny

So first Polk signed a treaty

That won us the northwest

The brits got all the cold parts

And we took all the rest

Polk then stirred up some trouble

A fight with Mexico

And when that war was over

There was no place else to go

Coast to coast

Sea to sea

It’s called manifest destiny

Coast to coast

And sea to sea

We are movin’ west

Natives dispossessed

Manifest destiny

Now, we’re not knocking progress

We too are pioneers

But don’t forget the suffering

Along the Trail of Tears

As we keep pushing westward

Relentlessly it seems

Are we creating nightmares

While we pursue our dreams?

Coast to coast

Sea to sea

It’s called manifest destiny

Coast to coast

And sea to sea

We are movin’ west

Don’t ask if it’s best

Manifest destiny

Rifles and Cannons

Too late

It’s gone too far

Too deep

Can’t hide the scar

North, South

There’s no repair

Too late

War’s in the air

Rifles and cannon

Rumblin’ our way

Rifles and cannon

Comin’ to stay

Though we tried to slow ‘em

With threats and tip-toein’

Troubles are growin’

War’s in the air.

Too late

Both take their stand

They’ve drawn

Lines in the sand

Slavery

Or its demise

Too late

No compromise

Rifles and cannon

Rumblin’ our way

Rifles and cannon

Comin’ to stay

Though we tried to slow ‘em

With threats and tip-toein’

Troubles are growin’

War’s in the air.

We All Won

They said that I looked funny

They though my hat was weird

They giggled at my accent

They didn’t like my beard

They said it couldn’t do it

But I knew they were wrong

The Civil War is over

Our nation still is strong

We all won

We’re one nation once again

We all lost

Such a cost

But we all are now free men

I know the future’s cloudy

There’s much work to be done

But we won

We all won

We are one

Let’s put old wounds behind us

Together we won’t fall

With malice now toward no one

With charity for all

A house that is divided

Against itself won’t stand

Let’s gather up the pieces

And reunite this land

We all won

We’re one nation once again

We all lost

Such a cost

But we all are now free men

I know the future’s cloudy

There’s much work to be done

But we won

We all won

We are one

I know the future’s cloudy

There’s much work to be done

But we won

We all won

We are one

Presidents (new version)

Washington and Adams

Jefferson, too

Madison and James Monroe

Then another Adams

Jasckson comes next

Hey Van Buren, what ‘cha know?

But what about Elvis?

Harrison and Tyler

Then we got Polked

Taylor and then Fillmore, too

Pierce is after Fillmore

Buchanan comes next

Hey Abe Lincoln, how’d we do?

Presidents, presidents, presidents

The first sixteen – who were those gents?

Presidents, presidents, presidents

The first sixteen – who were those gents?

We’ve been busy thinkin’

‘Bout Washington to Lincoln

And now we’ve got an inklin’

‘Bout the presidents.