The Mentoring Process

Mentoring is a process. Enactment of the mentoring process requires time, commitment, diligence, reflection and resilience. We can’t tell you exactly “how to do” mentoring. Yet, the literature on mentoring – and our observations and experiences – strongly suggest that effective mentors cultivate certain essentials skills, and that there is a discernible process through which mentoring relationships can get off the ground, develop and deepen.

Mentoring processes typically contain the following dimensions:

  • A phase in which the relationship is initiated – outreach, scheduling of initial meetings, etc.
  • A phase in which mentor and mentee go beyond the superficial and deepen mutual knowledge and understanding of each other.
  • A phase in which the mentee is encouraged to develop and focus on specific goals; attention is devoted to identifying circumstances that are supporting or constraining progress, and specifying steps and actions plans for attaining goals.
  • Ongoing reflection and assessment on quality of relationship as well as extent of goal achievement and any needs for modification of action plans.
  • Celebration of accomplishments and closure.

To be an effective mentor, a peer educator needs to:

  • Organize and initiate
  • Ask questions
  • Actively listen
  • Sensitively probe
  • Encourage students to set and take action on goals
  • Provide feedback to students
  • Acquire feedback from students
  • Reflect on her or his strengths and gaps as a mentor and continuously improve

Here are steps you need to take at various phases of the mentoring process:

Explain your interest in “getting together” with students – You do not need to make too big of a thing of announcing this. Rather, simply indicate that you would like to get to know students outside the larger group LC meetings and that you expect students to sign up and follow through. You may choose to refer to meetings as “get-togethers” rather than “mentoring sessions”.

Organize “get-togethers” over the semester in alignment with student schedules and your schedule]Getting together with two groups of three each week from weeks 2-5 would permit you to see 24 students. You will know each of these students at least a little if not a lot better. It will help them, help you and help the group.

It is important to make students feel comfortable and open to the idea of mentoring so allow them to sign up for a time that best fits their schedule (but also of course yours). We suggest a casual but quiet and convenient neutral location.

Always remind students a day in advance that you have an upcoming meeting.

Set a comfortable tone – As the mentor you need to take the initiative and set the tone and atmosphere of the meeting. You could use fun and/or purposeful “check-ins” to do this – favorite hobby, favorite music, favorite movie, funniest thing that happened at UC so far, what you would do tomorrow if you win lottery, etc. Keep it casual.

Pose questions in a variety of areas –Ask questions about various areas – adjusting to and getting to know UC, making friends, family, relationships, health and well-being (stress), finances and of course academics including particular classes. The questions do not need to be very complicated – they are conversation starters. You can pose simple questions in these areas such as “what has been going on with…”? How are things going with…?

“… Getting to know a mentee does not mean knowing everything about that person. Rather, gaining a good sense about who this person is and what he or she brings to the learning relationship will help the mentor connect and facilitate…” (Zachary, 2000:20).

Ask simple open-ended questions that invite mentees to reveal their interests and concerns in various areas of their lives, and tell stories about themselves. These are preferable to close-ended questions for which a one-word response is sufficient. If you get really short response, ask for elaboration. “I am curious about that; tell me more”.

Actively Listen - Active listening is crucial in all of our interpersonal relationships including those specific to mentoring. To listen actively is to pay strict attention to what students are saying. It means listening:

  • With focus
  • Empathetically
  • Without thinking about your next response
  • With attention to the meaning and implications of what the person is saying

Listening in such a manner honors the person you are listening to, convey that you care and are interested, and reinforces that the conversation is about them – not you. Moreover, actively listening allows you to probe as well as respond in a more effective manner. Active listening is a habit. As you practice active listening, it will become more habitual - second nature.Look folks in the eye, use good body language and truly pay attention to the person.

Probe - Initially, you may find that students provide only short and general answers – even to your well-crafted question. Probing invites and encourages students to share more details of their experiences, elaborate on any needs or concerns (or accomplishments), and reveal their perspectives and feelings to a greater extent. What does a probe sound like? Probes occur in the midst of conversation and thus cannot be scripted but examples would include:

  • Wow – that’s really interesting – tell me more.
  • I think I hear you saying that ______. Is that right? Could you explain again and tell me more?
  • I’m sensing that there is allot going on with ______. Is there? Would you like to tell me more?

Probing might feel awkward. You may even feel that you are violating privacy in some ways. But be insistent – in a friendly way. If you insist that the door is open, people will usually come in – eventually. While you should not compel a fellow student to share and/or elaborate, you can persistently invite her or him to do so. A conversation is like a spider’s web. Through sensitive probing, you can weave it to a more intricate level.

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Encourage Goal Setting and Follow Though - Where possible, have students leave a session with at least one specific and immediate goal and commitment. “What is one thing you want to accomplish or improve in the next few days; what can you do to make that happen”? Follow up through casual conversation, e-mail or other means to see how the student is doing.

Patience & Resilience – Rome was not built in a day. If initial sessions simply break some ice and lay the foundations for friendships and relationships, great. They can get more serious and purposeful – while remaining fun – as they evolve over time. Mentoring is a process.

Encourage – Stress possibilities rather than limitations; stress strengths rather than deficiencies. Let students know that with hard work and commitment, many things are possible.

Connect student to other people, resources, opportunities and potential mentors – There are a tremendous array of resources and opportunities – and potential mentors – at UC. Make students aware of them and encourage them to connect to them. Your mentoring sessions (and any other formal or casual encounters in and out of the LC meetings) offer opportunities for encouraging students to broaden their connections to people, resources and opportunities at UC.

Provide Feedback - Success in any endeavor is achieved through continually assessing the gap between our current level of performance and attainment – our current reality – and what we want to attain - our vision. Mentors - through ongoing provision of feedback – can help students close the gaps.

As you provide feedback, keep these seven attributes of effective feedback in mind:

Align your feedback, where possible, back to the goals that students have established for themselves. And focus the feedback on items that can be addressed in the short term – devoting time and effort to this week’s Calculus problems, this week’s exercise plan, this week’s guitar practice, this week’s connections with family, etc. Long term goals are indeed important but they are achieved via what we do on a day to day and week to week basis. Today is indeed the first day of the rest of our lives!

Continually Acquire Feedback from Students and Colleagues-You can enhance your impact as a mentor (or group leader or learning coach) by asking for feedback on how you are doing. Your assumptions about how things are going may not necessarily be accurate. Explicitly check how things are going, make clear that you are receptive to constructive feedback, and stress that you are open to improving as a mentor and committed to helping students succeed and thrive at UC.

Students may not feel comfortable providing critical feedback – especially if it is just asked for in a point blank verbal manner. So, acquire it via various methods – direct questioning, short surveys, e-mails, etc. Always thank students or others for feedback and acknowledged that you processed the feedback.

Here are some questions you might ask –in person, in a short survey, in an email, on Facebook, etc:

  • How did the “get-togethers” go for you?
  • Are they helpful?
  • Is there anything else that we could be doing or discussing when we meet?
  • What would you like to do or talk about next time we meet?
  • Do you have any needs or interests that we are not addressing?
  • Do you have any suggestions for me?
  • Do you have any questions for me?

Follow Up - Make plans for the next “get together” – when and where will it be and what items might be discussed. In subsequent get-togethers or just casually, ask how the students are doing with specific issues that were discussed.