Coach: a Person Who Helps People Move from One Place to Another

Oakbrook 3.4.10

Protégé Mentor Training

An Oakbrook Protégé Department mentor exists to coach protégés in their ministry, calling, and giftedness, and to disciple them in the ways of God. The two words can be used interchangeably, but for the purpose of this training we will lean on “coaching” when referring to leading vocationally and “discipling” when leading spiritually. In practice, the two should work together.

Coach: a person who helps people move from one place to another

Disciple: (verb) come alongside another for the purpose of spurring them on to growing as a seeker of God and his ways, a learner of his truth, an influencer of culture, and an investor in the Kingdom.

The Coach

Five verbs are used in the New Testament to describe the idea of coaching and mentoring.

Parakaleo has several shades of meaning, especially in the context of coming alongside someone. It includes asking for help (Matthew 8:5, Mark 5:18, Luke 7:4), speaking a word of encouragement (Acts 14:22, 2 Corinthians 5:20, Philippians 4:2), and giving comfort (Romans 15:4, 2 Thessalonians 2:16, Hebrews 2:15)

Noutheteo implies much more direct conversation, in the sense of challenging, admonishing, and confronting because change is needed, but done in love and gentleness. Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:16, and Romans 15:14 all describe this word in the context of helping bring about change in a way that doesn’t make the other person bitter or discouraged. To be direct and yet loving and constructive is not easy.

Paramutheomacarries the twin ideas of admonition and comfort. As we caution and even reprove(scold gently) another person, we also bring reassurance and comfort, as portrayed in 1 Corinthians 14:3.

Makrothumeo is usually translated “long-suffering” or “patient” as found in 1 Corinthians 13:4 and Ephesians 4:2. It has the idea of enduring and persevering with others because God has been so patient with us.

Paraxusmos, found in Hebrews 10:24, carries the concept of stimulating or spurring someone to love and good deeds. In this regard, we are to expend much effort to help people in turn help others.

(from Transformissional Coaching, p, 59)

C.O.A.C.H- In general, a coach does the following things:

Comes alongside

Observes carefully

Asks questions wisely

Communicates ideas, options, and resources

Holds accountable, while caring for the heart.

The Disciple-Maker

2 Timothy 2:2 "You have heard me teach many things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Teach these great truths to trustworthy people who are able to pass them along to others."

A disciple-maker has a vision for passing the baton of faith to the next generation. There are four elements of this vision:

Value Vision- prioritizing people over task. (Ministry without care for people is corrupt.)
Future Vision- prioritizing sustainability and importance over simplicity and urgency (ministry is a long haul, not a sprint))
X-Ray Vision- discovering and revealing what others don’t see about themselves (the gift of perspective)
God Vision- recognizing and interpreting the fingerprints of God in the story of another

Putting It Into Practice

Read books together
If you think it; say it (have a thought about how they’re doing or not doing something? Say it!)
Give experiences
Go to lunch/coffee frequently
Pray with protégé regularly
Give feedback often
Set tone for transparency
Make sure they are finding community
Help them set goals
Look for the teachable moment
Schedule some “workshops”

If you’re overseeing a protégé or new volunteer and haven’t read The One Minute Manager, read it!

Great Questions

“We have to keep looking for the spiritual questions if we want spiritual answers.”

(Henri Nouwen)

Jesus asked 307 questions in Scripture. Discipleship is less about dispensing information and more about inviting people on a journey of discovery. Here are 25 conversation starters.

Where do you see God most at work in your life?
What is something you are excited about in your life right now?
What is a big challenge you are facing right now?
What do you love most about…?
Where are you growing the most?
What fruit of the Spirit is most abundant in your life? What fruit of the Spirit is least abundant in your life?
What changes do you want to make in your life? What changes can only God make in your life?
What is God teaching you right now?
What is stopping you from doing what you know God has called you to do?
What do you want?
Where is God in that situation?
How does the Bible address that?
What do you see in the Scriptures that leads you to that conclusion?
Give me one word that best describes how you currently feel.
What do you need from me?
What about ministry gets you really excited?
How are you and God doing?
How is God developing your character?
What one area of your character, personal life, or spiritual life would you most like to develop?
What concerns you right now?
What was your greatest accomplishment this month?
Where have you demonstrated your best leadership?
Where and how do you receive support and encouragement?
What have you done to play recently?
What do you wish you had more time for?

Lines of Authority/Communication

Alyssa Porter Sarah LeeRonda Malin
Elijah Pickett Joel Larison Sam Burke

The First Month

Week 1

Take protégé to lunch or coffee
Ask them to share their story
Share some of your story
Ask them to share their expectations- what do they hope to experience and learn?
Review schedule
Assign a significant project

First Month

Select a location for weekend involvement
Ask them to make a list o 5-6 skills or experiences they would like to have during this protégé year. Talk with them openly and honestly about it.
Involve them in a significant experience
Review goals and expectations- ask them important questions:
How are you doing?
Where are you connecting?
What are you enjoying?
What are you not enjoying?
What concerns do you have?