Checkpoint: Different Kinds of Messages

Write one or two paragraphs in which you address the following points regarding your

final project: What kinds of unwanted reactions might you encounter when trying to

convince the business committee to accept your proposal for a new service? What steps

can you take to ensure you convey the purpose of your message to the audience?

Some of the unwanted reactions that I might encounter when trying to convince the business committee to accept my proposal for a new service is that the employees would have an overwhelming workload and/or the committee would not be sure that the service would be successful. One way that I would prove its success is by taking the time to show the committee an overwhelming multitude of ways that this service would bring company growth and profit to the company. I would remind them each of their goals for the company and let them know how each of those individual goals will be collectively accomplished. Since having a massage spa will help to alleviate stress in the work place, this will help all the employees to work better. In this case it would not be overwhelming for the current employees because it would become second nature in time. With the multitudes of proof I will present, I believe they will be won over by my service idea.

Draft an informative email to one person on the committee and a positive email to

another person on the committee. In the emails, explain the purpose of your presentation.

Explain how these two emails differ.

Informative Email:

Hi Mark,

I have started working on the presentation for the new service idea that I have. This idea will bring company growth and more profits to the company. My presentation will help to explain how this will be accomplished. I look forward to having this presentation completed by May 8, 2009, and presenting it to the company. Any questions or concerns can be expressed at that time, or if you have any questions or concerns please feel free to contact me.

Thank You

[Your Whole Name Here]

Positive Email:

Hi Dave,

My presentation for my new service idea is currently being constructed. This presentation will be a jump start for the upcoming year. Our team will be able to pull together and start something new. I should have it done no later than May2009. I look forward to working with you and the team on this new service. 

[Your first name here]

First of all, one of the biggest differences I see is length and the emoticon. In a positive message there is no need for a lot of facts, and the tone is more friendly and informal that an informative message. Since that is the case I can put an emoticon in the message, but I would make sure not to overdo it. The positive message is strait to the main points. On the other hand, the informative message is longer because it hits several facts and main points about the presentation. Everything is formal with no emoticons because that is inappropriate.