When Cancer Pulls the Rug out from Under You

When Cancer Pulls the Rug Out from under You

I would be lying if I said the arrival of cancer into our lives had no impact. The news pulled the rug out from under us for a while—especially after two years when we thought the cancer had been treated. Its return at stage 4 was a shock to put it mildly. However, I think the process of dealing with Rod’s cancer might have been aided a bit by a previous “rug puller” 16 years earlieras we faced a similar announcement when I was diagnosed with melanoma. In both cases I don’t think either of us questioned God as to Why? but we did wonder what he had in store for us as a result of the unexpected bends in the road of our journey through life. Our knowledge of Scripture and our faith in an all-wise, all-loving God helped us. Knowing God’s purpose for our lives (to glorify him in all things) and that our days were numbered before the foundation of the world reminded us that God (and not us) is in control. We believed it, taught it, and now we would have the opportunity to show that it made a difference in how we responded. Our desire has always been to allow God to shape our lives to be better used by him to touch the lives of others. Perhaps thinking of a word picture of sandpaper on wood or water on stone as both work as polishers to smooth the wood and stone to a finished product. God can use everything in our lives to polish us to make us into his finished product.

One area our lives was impacted the most was in letting go of each other. One discovers how selfish they are when asked to let go of someone they hold so dearly. But death isn’t a thing that can be stopped or controlled. When the time comes for one to leave this world in death, there is a void left by the loss but life goes on and God’s purpose for the survivor remains the same. Another area was watching our children cope/deal with losing Dad to cancer and yet in that process, we have seen that the things we taught and lived before them hasled them to trust God in their own lives during this journey. We cry together, but not as those who have no hope. Our hope is a biblical hope —a confidence or assurance in God, not a wishful desire for our own comfort. Always in the background is the knowledge that God remains good and faithful. We feel stronger as a result of this journey, even though it’s been a hard path and one we wouldn’t have chosen ourselves.

Our reconciliation with cancer hasn’t been so very different from other major changes or challenges in our lives. Knowing God is in control of every aspect of our lives overflows into this journey through cancer (or what we believe and teach is in vain). Many things happen in life over which we have no control. To some people, cancer might appear to be a bigger/harder challenge to deal with than some other areas.Perhaps it’s because we can’t see God’s overall plan or understand why.But we know that God in his infinite grace and mercy is walking this journey with us. Our future isn’t bleak—although I will miss Rod dearly, I know it’s not the end but just the beginning of a new walk/journey for both of us until one day I also leave this life.

As we look back we can both say it was not an easy trip physically, but it was a good journey. We have met many wonderful people on whomwe hope we’ve left an imprint through our contact as much as they have touched our lives. We only desire to finish the course well and be faithful to the end.

Linda Decker (May, 2014)

Recently our daughter, Rachel, found a piece of paper that had fallen behind a table where Rod has spent many days sitting, thinking, and writing. Whether it missed the trash can or just slipped off the table we don’t know. Below is something he wrote sometime in the last couple of months before he declined too much to focus on such things. He would be the first to admit that he is not a poet, but I include a poem he wrote about life & death. His love of technology wasn’t far behind his love for learning, studying, and teaching.

As I sit gazing at a finely formed piece of aluminum

I can’t help wonder when it will die,

Or, for that matter, when will I?

The glow of Apple logo white

The flow of platelets bright

Electronics manufactured ephemeral

Humans created eternal

One measured in years of utility to human hands

The other, many more in its responsibility to the Almighty’s plans

Aluminum and silicon know only temporal urgency—a decade or two amazing

Human flesh enjoys both 80 years of agency, then resurrection to service eternal

When electrons cease to flow, their “life” is over

When my neurons cease to function, my life has just begun.

Rodney J. Decker May, 2014