There Are a Number of Considerations When Preparing for the Impending Relationship Completion

As the time draws near to conclude your mentoring relationship it is important to consider how to prepare for moving on.

The closure process is not always easy; it can feel awkward, or participants may be not ready to end the relationship. Depending on the nature of the relationship, its completion may bring about different emotions including trepidation, relief, joy, empowerment, sadness or apathy.

There are a number of considerations when preparing for the impending relationship completion.

Do’s

• When setting the time for your last meeting take the time to recognise it will be the last as discuss what you would both like to do at that meeting.
• Prepare for the final meeting be reviewing what you have learnt and experienced before you meet for the last time.
• Consider what you would like to say to your mentor / mentee ahead of time. This will help you feel more confident in revealing your feelings and will help avoid ending on a flat or awkward moment.
• Consider providing your mentor with a gesture or memento to reflect your gratitude. This is a very personal offering and could be some heartfelt words or a small gift.
• Be honest about what you can commit to. Whilst it may be tempting to continue contact this may not be reasonable or feasible. If this is the case it is best to make the future of the relationship very clear, for example you could say “I have really enjoyed the experience and I wish you all the best in your future success.”
• If you have become friends discuss how the relationship will continue by recognising the formal mentor / mentee formality has now come to an end.

Don’ts

• Don’t assume your mentor / mentee is feeling the same as you about the end of the relationship. Take the time to ask how they are feeling and how they would like to end the relationship.
• If you discussed how you would end the relationship earlier in the experience it is still important to revisit as you approach the end, as your ideas and needs may have changed.

• Don’t allow the relationship to end abruptly or to drift apart gradually.
• Don’t try to keep the relationship going indefinitely. You may both agree to one or two more meetings or continued contact, but recognise that it must come to an end.
• Don’t make the process difficult by trying to pressure the other into committing beyond their level of comfort.

Final Meeting Checklist

review your purpose for participating

revisit your agreed mutual goals

consider what you have achieved

discuss what you have both got out of the relationship

identify any outstanding goals or actions

briefly discuss how these can be achieved following the relationship conclusion

discuss whether you would like to remain in contact in the future and under what circumstances

acknowledge what both participants have got out the experience

I joined the mentoring program because...

The agreed goals for the mentoring experience were…

Over the mentoring relationship the biggest achievements were…

What I most appreciated about the mentoring experience was