Speech to Homefield Preparatory School

Speech to Homefield Preparatory School

Prize Giving 3 August 2015

Headmaster, Chairman of Governors, Ladies and Gentlemen, by ‘Gentlemen’ I mean all of you sitting there smart in your white shirts.

Thank you for inviting us to your special day, which Jane and I have both enjoyed very much. I especially enjoyed the musical introduction played by Eddie on my favourite instrument, the French Horn.

Some of you will soon be leaving to go on to other schools, and eventually after a few more years out into the wide world. This is both exciting and perhaps a daunting prospect. Even if it seems a long way ahead you can prepare yourself for it, starting now.

I don’t think I prepared myself as well I could have done. One of the first lessons learned on leaving school was the importance having the courage of my convictions. I could and should have learned that before leaving school.

Very early in my career, I was an officer in the desert. Our camp was sometimes fired on from the outside. So one day my boss told me to take my men and set up an ambush outside the wire. I knew that a minefield had been laid there some years before. I should have spoken up, but didn’t. My sergeant did and was told to keep quiet by my boss. I failed him. That night we tiptoed out into the minefield and lay there all night. Nothing happened. In the morning my boss drove out in his jeep, and entered the minefield – a mine blew one of its wheels off. Luckily no one was hurt. But by not speaking out, I had failed my men and my sergeant whom I had left to speak out, when I should have done.

Another thing I learned on another occasion was the need to take responsibility for the mistakes of people in your team and to stick up for them.

A few years later, I was company commander. Some of my men returning from a day off in a truck were passed by a big, official car. They made rude signs at the car – very naughty! The first I knew of it was when I was summoned by my commanding officer and given a severe dressing down for the behaviour of my men. On my way out of the commanding officer’s tent, his assistant showed me a signal, like an email. On top it read ‘from General Officer Commanding to CO 40 Commando RM, send name of officer responsible for bad behaviour of troops while passing General’s car’.

Underneath, was the reply, it read; ‘Name of officer responsible, Lieutenant Colonel Hellings, CO 40 Commando’.

My commanding officer was accepting the blame for the actions of those under his command – in his team.

These are some aspects of leadership, a subject to which I will return in a few minutes.

You all know what it is like to be under pressure – in exams, at sport, or personal challenges. This is when resilience matters. For those of you who are not sure what resilience means, here is a story.

There was a boy born in India who spent the first 11 years of his life there because of the Second World War. When the War ended he was transported to a bleak, cold country called England. It was midwinter. A couple of weeks later he was put on a train at Waterloo and told to find his way to his prep school in Sherborne. On arrival, it was dark, and he had to find his way from the station to the school. He did not know anyone there, or on the train, so he asked a boy in long trousers the way. He said ‘go away’. So he followed people dressed in shorts like him; and ended up in the right place. This is a very minor example of coping under pressure. It was really the first time he had had to manage on his own in a strange country, surrounded by strangers. At the time he thought that nothing would ever be as bad as that again. He was wrong of course, far worse things happened later in life – but aged 11 it was frightening. But he managed to suppress his panic and work through it.

I said I would return to leadership, I could give you a list of the characteristics that make a good leader; they include such things as keeping your head in a crisis, or resilience which I have just mentioned, and:

Trusting ones friends, and those in your team or group.
The ability to express yourself, so that people understand what it is you are trying to do.
To care for those in your team or group.
To be able to accept new ideas and advice and criticism – sometimes the hardest of all.
Integrity, or being trustworthy

But the one I rate as being at the top of the list, is Moral Courage. Choosing the Harder Right, rather than the Easier Wrong.

When I came to be a commanding officer, I would promote young marines on to the first rung of the ladder of promotion, Lance Corporal. After the young man had left my office, he would always be given a talk by the Regimental Sergeant Major. I could often hear what he said, and it always included the phrase: ’It’s nice to be liked, but it’s not essential’.

What did he mean? He meant that the young man might soon be faced with making an unpopular but correct decision. The temptation to court popularity can be very strong. That is a very hard lesson to learn – because we all, or most of us, want to be popular. But in the end it is better to be respected than liked.

Which brings me to my last point: be true to yourself. You know in your heart of hearts whether or not you are really trying your very best. You may be able to fool your friends, your parents, even, dare I say it, the Headmaster that you are giving it your best shot; or doing what is right. When deep down you know you are not. Listen to your inner person, that little voice that says ‘come on you can do better’, or ‘come on you let the side down’, or ‘come on take some action’.

Like a young corporal in one of the battles in the Falklands, who went forward on his own and found himself faced by 15 enemy soldiers. He had the courage to go on and captured the position single-handed at the risk of his own life. He said after wards, ‘it had to be me’, I was the section commander’.

What he meant was that the challenge was thrust upon him, suddenly and without warning, and he did not turn away.

In the years ahead, I am sure you will have one of those ‘It has to be me’ moments. You may have already experienced them. Not in a battle, I hope you never have to fight one, but, for example, helping someone who is down on their luck, supporting someone who is being given a hard time, speaking up when you recognise that a wrong is being committed or about to be; standing up to a bully. You will recognise the moment when it comes. Try not to turn away and ignore that little voice.

Many things in life are sent to test us to see if we have learned these lessons. Some will be tough, and seem far too difficult. I don’t mean that all will be physical tests, the hardest challenges are usually moral ones. They will often appear as one of those ‘It has to be me’ moments I talked about. Don’t let yourself down. Remember the quote from Seneca, read out by the Headmaster.

And now, I wish you every success and happiness in your life ahead.