Sample Edit Level Two

Sample Edit Level Two

SAMPLE—EDITING

The sampling method I usedoninthis study was fairunbiased, [Note: See Editor’s Note #1.] but there are a few aspects of things I would improve the way of sampling that could be improved. First of all, I used the systematic sampling methodwas used to sample from only one particular type of a share, “Iinvestment Ttrusts. It Thiscaused a data bias, because I actually choseonlycompanies fromofferingthis one type of share were chosen. At the beginningoutset, , I said it was stated that I the purpose of this investigatedinvestigation was to determine[Note: Please check the change.]whether a high-pricedof sharesmakes more profitsthan a low-pricedof ones. IThis impliedmeant that the sharesstudied would is not only be “Iinvestment Ttrust s” shares but also other types of shares.However I investigated,only “Iinvestment Ttrusts” shareswereas a sampled. This iswasa critical error. Tosolve this problem, I could use the Sstratified Ssampling method could be used to collect sample data. However, in this case,it would be necessaryI have to know the total number of all companies onlisted inthe newspaper just by simply counting from the top to the bottom of the list(there would be more than1,000 companies). If I could do thiscould be done, the Sstratified Ssampling method would provide me with a much fairerbetteropportunity of gettingobtainingasample of data from all different types of a shares than the sSystematic sSampling method did. Secondly, I could choose more than 54 sets of data could be taken as a sample. The more the sets of data were used, the more accurate would be the obtained results I could get.

Explanation of Changes
We have reworked all awkwardly phrased sentences and replaced all inappropriate words. Sentences have been checked for grammatical errors and changes have been made to ensure that they read even better. Wordiness and redundancy are also addressed, as in the two sentences toward the end.
The first person point of view has been eliminated. In addition, we have also removed information that is trivial, so that it does not draw attention away from the more important details. We have also added new phrases to further enhance sentence construction. The passage is now a smooth-flowing piece that is in native English style.

Editor’s Notes

Note: The page numbers mentioned below correspond to the tracked version of the document (i.e., Final Showing Markup). If you have accepted or rejected the changes, these numbers could change.

Clarification

  1. Page 1: From this sentence, it is not clear whether by “fair,” you mean that the technique is adequately suited for this purpose or that it is unbiased. If you mean that the technique is unbiased, please retain our change. If, however, you mean that the technique is adequate, please change the sentence as follows:

Though the sampling method used in this study was adequately suited to its purpose, there is still considerable scope to improve the technique.

Tips

  1. The first letters of names of statistical and scientific techniques are typically in lowercase. An exception is made when the name of the technique includes the name of the person who developed it.

Example

Avoid: I could use the Stratified Sampling method.

Better:I could use the stratified sampling method.

Incorrect: pearson’s product moment correlation

Correct: Pearson’s product moment correlation

  1. The preposition “on” is typically used to indicate that one object is placed on top of another. When referring to lists of company names provided in a newspaper, journal, etc., the appropriate preposition to be used is “in.”

Example

Incorrect: I would have to know the total number of companies listed on the newspaper.

Correct: I would have to know the total number of companies listed in the newspaper.

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