Topping Out
I’ve just finished my first full year in my job as a trainer/assessor of Scottish Vocational Qualification (SVQ) in Community Development Work having graduated only a year ago as a Community Worker myself. So how do I feel one year on, as the graduation of my first group of students fast approaches? On top of the world?
Well no, if I’m honest, my feelings are rather more ambivalent. It’s been a tough year; establishing myself in my new place of work, getting to know my new colleagues, designing and delivering training in Community Development Work for the first time and getting to grips with assessing SVQs. There have been many challenges and on a number of occasions I have questioned whether or not I am in the right job…
…One of my most vivid memories of my rock climbing past is of a day at Craig y Barnes near Dunkeld in Central Scotland. Having headed off for a day’s “entertainment” with the university climbing club, I decided to lead a VS climb in the centre of the main buttress. For those not in the know, VS stands for Very Severe. The reality is not quite as scary as it sounds. Climbing a VS is usually the benchmark between a beginner and an intermediate climber and choosing to lead up one as the first climber is a test as much of one’s mental agility as of one’s physical prowess. However, being rather an impulsive twenty something, I set off up the climb without too much forethought and I soon encountered difficulties. Having wandered off the correct line, I found myself several metres off the ground with shaky protective gear and in a fragile mental state. I wedged myself into a crack below an overhang and contemplated my next move…
Although I am now older and hopefully wiser, I still often find myself in situations where I feel out of control. Having been encouraged to overcome my fears in the past by my father who believed that “character building” experiences were an invaluable part of his children’s education, placing myself in challenging situations has become a habit. Although I haven’t quite felt that I have been hanging on by my fingernails this last working year, I have had to push on up and over a number of mental overhangs.
The future of the Intermediate Labour Market programme, which I run (of which the SVQ is a part), relies on the achievement of “positive outcomes” by the participating students. Therefore in addition to my SVQ responsibilities, I have had to focus on creating opportunities for students to prove themselves in their work placements in order that they might secure longer-term employment. As you may be aware, this has been a relatively tough year for funding for community and voluntary sector projects and therefore the opportunities for continual employment for the students have not always presented themselves. At present we are still finishing the course and are in a state of limbo but I am trying to not let this unnerve me. As my students and I experience the highs and lows of the programme, I have been reminded constantly of the lessons I learnt back in my climbing days…
Wedged in the crack, down climbing might have been an option, if not a very safe one, so I resolutely moved on up and over the overhang on limited protection and with rapidly failing muscles. As I topped out I felt a rush of euphoria. Sitting on the cliff edge several minutes later, belaying up my climbing companion, I felt the enormous sense of achievement that comes with not letting fear win the day.
So in my current role I am moving on up, searching for the next solid grip and some good protection placements. The next few moves might be tough but I now know that safer ground must lie ahead.